


Rise After Falling

by Lyna_Laufeyson



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Bree is a bit mean at first but give her a chance, Bucky Barnes Gets a Hug, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Cries, Bucky Redemption, Cat Loki, Everyone is adorable, Explosions, Female Loki (Marvel), Good Loki, Hurt Loki, Injury, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Lady Loki, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Loki Redemption, Loki in heat, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide, Mind Controlled Loki, Odin listens, Odin's A+ Parenting, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Thor: The Dark World, SHIELD Agent Loki, Thor Is a Good Bro, from Loki, good bucky, mentions of torture, she's been through a lot, shield agent bucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2018-12-21 02:17:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 57,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11934246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyna_Laufeyson/pseuds/Lyna_Laufeyson
Summary: After being wounded on Svartalfheim Loki is rushed to Midgard by his brother in the hope that the Avengers can help save him. Whilst Thor is on Asgard in an attempt to get Loki pardened, after it is dicovered that he was controlled by Thanos, Loki attempts to rebuilt himself and achieve his childhood dreams.Meanwhile, James Buchanan Barnes is struggling to come to terms with his new life as Captain America's mentally ill friend. However, when a small, scared black ball of fur literally runs into him his life changes dramatically for the better.This is the story of two former villains becoming the best two agents the newly reformed SHIELD has ever seen, whilst helplessly falling in love.





	1. Impact

Loki watched in horror as the Aether began to reform. He was crouched above Jane, shielding her from the blast caused by Mjolnir, but now the shattered shards of red floated upwards and surged towards Malekith. The Accursed absorbed the Infinity Stone and laughed at the brothers and the mortal.

"Thank you, Loki of Jotunheim, for your gift." He snarled "But it appears that pleasing me was not your intention. No matter, I have the Aether now; I will return the universe to its eternal night. Darkness will rule, Asgard and the other Eight Realms will fall."

"Not while there is breath in my lungs and blood in my veins Malekith." Loki spat, forcing himself up on his feet, in the corner of his eyes he watched Thor also rise. "You will be the one who falls."

"We will see who falls Liesmith" Malekith retorted, before turning to Kurse "Kill them all"

The leader of the Dark Elves then turned to walk towards his ship. Dark Elves began to walk forwards and Thor immediately stalked towards the amassing army, but Loki's eyes were drawn to Kurse. The creature reached down to his belt and pulled off a small ball, throwing it towards Loki and Jane.

Loki realised what it was a fraction too late.

He reacted on instinct, pushing Thor's lover out of the way, but getting caught up in the pull of the black hole. His stomach lurched and for a moment he thought " _this is it, this is where I die"._ Loki could see Jane's overwhelmed expression as he got pulled towards the vortex. _"I had so much I wanted to say"_ He couldn't help but fear the possibility he might survive. Last time he had fallen through a hole in space he had met Thanos and his children. That had not ended well for anyone.

However, instead of being absorbed by the circling suction of the black hole, Loki was instead forced sideways, out of its path, colliding forcefully with the floor. Looking up he could see his brother beside him. Loki smiled softly at Thor in thanks, but Thor didn't return the smile.

"Protect Jane, I'll defeat Kurse" Thor frowned

"What of Malekith? I can-"

"Just protect Jane" Thor interrupted. At that he began to spin Mjolnir around his wrist before taking off. Loki sighed to himself; once again, despite everything Thor never believed in his fighting ability, nor his Seidr. _"I'll show him"_ Loki thought.

Loki quickly teleported in front of Jane, who was being surrounded by the Dark Elves. With a flick of his wrist, green bursts of Seidr leapt out towards each of the Dark Elves, each one falling down dead the moment the magic struck them.

Jane flinched back as she was suddenly surrounded by corpses, but Loki didn't even blink. Scanning the plains of Svartalfheim Loki could see that Thor was holding his own against Kurse, instead his eyes fell on to Malekith, who was making his way towards Thor. Clearly planning on attempting to assist Kurse in his assault.

"Help him, please" Jane whispered behind him.

"Stay here" Loki practically growled, snatching up a Dark Elf sword and teleported behind Malekith; thrusting the blade through the Dark Elf's back until it protruded from his chest. Malekith gasped in pain as Loki took a step back.

Kurse turned around at his master's gasp and that was all the distraction Thor needed. Finally managing to strike Kurse with Mjolnir; hitting him hard in the head forcing him to the floor and hitting him repeatedly, killing him. Meanwhile, Malekith and Loki made uneasy eye contact before the Dark Elf pulled Loki on to the blade.

Agony shot through Loki's body, burning and sharp as his lung was pierced by the sword. Thor's shout echoed in his ears but it sounded so far away. Loki reached down to Malekith's belt and found what he was looking for, what would hopefully destroy the Aether once and for all.

Pushing himself away from Malekith, he landed on his back on the floor with a pained groan. Looking up he stated:

"See you in Hel, monster!" And with an explosion of red, the Black Hole Grenade went off, absorbing Malekith and the Aether into its murky depths. At that Loki let his body lie back. Thor fell to his knees next to him, scooping his failing body into his arms as Loki panted heavily.

"No, no, no, no." Thor muttered "Ah you fool you didn't listen"

"I know, I'm a fool, I'm a fool" Loki stammered gasping in pain as his one lung began to fill with blood.

"Stay with me, okay" Thor begged, placing a hand briefly on Loki's left cheek.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Loki forced out as the world became fuzzy around him.

"Shh it's okay. It's alright." Thor tried to smile "I'll tell father what you did here today" Loki starred at Thor for a long moment.

"I didn't do it for him" his whispered as his eyes began to flutter closed.

"No, no Loki, brother, stay awake. Please Lítt Einn, stay awake." Thor begged.

"'m so tired Thor. I can't fight this anymore" Loki murmured, drowsy from the lack of blood "its better I die here, than by Thanos' hand"

"Thanos? Loki he's not real-"

"Thor" Jane called, running up to the pair of Gods.

"Jane, my brother, he's gravely injured. I don't know what to do. Asgard will surely kill him."

"What if we get him to Earth? Our Doctor's might be able to help" Jane suggested

"Loki is Jotun; his biology is different to that of a Midgardian"

"What about Dr Banner, he could try"

"That would be ideal; however, I fear I do not the way to Midgard."

"The cave" Loki slurred from Thor's arms "'s a pathway to Midgard, London"

"Very well, T'is decided. We shall travel to Midgard"

Thor picked Loki up and led Jane toward the nearby cave, Thor jogged through the cave desperate to help his brother. He jolted Loki in his arms as he ran; he kept talking, trying to encourage him to respond, to stay awake, to stay alive.

When they finally got to Midgard Thor breathed a sigh of relief. Leaving Jane in London, with Darcy, Eric and Ian, he flew towards New York. Loki lost consciousness somewhere over the North Atlantic Ocean.

* * *

* * *

 

Tony sipped his coffee as he listened to Bruce ramble on about his latest research. Clint and Natasha were also sat in the living room drinking coffee and chatting whilst Bruce enjoyed a chamomile tea. Steve was with Bucky, at a therapy session for the latter, and Sam was back in DC with his support group.

It was raining outside, quite heavily. Fat rain drops hit the window with great speed, the sound echoing throughout the room. Suddenly a flash of lighting burst across the sky and was immediately followed by a loud rumble of thunder which silenced the Avengers within the room.

"Geez, whoever's pissed Thor off can they please apologise" Tony joked after a few seconds

"I bet you 10 bucks it's that smug bastard Lo-"Clint began

"Sir, Mr Odinson has arrived, he appears to have a guest that requires immediate medical assistance" JARVIS interrupted Clint

"Let him in Jay" Tony said as Bruce got up to get the first aid kit from the kitchen. He was back in his seat by the time Thor entered the room with a broken bundle of a person in his arms, however, after a quick glance Bruce realized the first aid kit would be useless.

"Please, my friends, help him"

"Holy shit is that Loki?" Tony exclaimed

"Aye, he saved my life, please don't make it cost him his."

"What happened Thor?"

"He saved the universe from eternal darkness. He was stupid and he didn't listen. I told him to stay with Jane. Keep her safe. He did so by killing all around him who posed a threat to her. He saved me from Malekith, and was stabbed in the process. He is dying"

For a moment there was yet another uncomfortable silence that filled the living room of the Avengers Tower. That was before Loki whimpered in Thor's arms and began to stir.

"Thor," he called softly "I'm sorry"

"I know Little One, I know. And I forgive you" Thor murmured

"He made me, I had to do it. He would have just sent one of the others instead. He hurt me, but this was better"

"How is he still alive?" Bruce asked, edging closer, seeing the amount of blood.

"His magic, he is healing himself, slowly. It's not enough, he's bleeding out. Most of his magic is keeping him breathing." Thor explained as Loki drifted in and out of consciousness.

"Okay, get him to the medical bay. I need to stop the bleeding" Bruce stated.

"What? You're going to help him? After everything he's done to us?" Clint protested

"Right now that doesn't matter. Right now he is a person who needs medical help. Medical help that I can give."

And with that Dr Banner, Thor and Loki left the living room and headed towards the medical bay. Clint watched after the group, Natasha and Tony standing behind him. Clint shook his head as he turned back to the others.

"What the actual fuck?" Clint snapped

"We don't know the full story Clint. Let's just wait until Loki's not dying. Thor's probably going to take Loki back to Asgard as soon he's okay" Tony shrugged

"But...""

"Clint, just leave it. We'll sort this, Okay?" Natasha said softly, "He's powerless at the moment"

Clint nodded slowly, unsure of what to do. He definitely didn't feel comfortable with Loki being in the tower; however, he didn't look like he was in any sort of position to pose a threat. Yet. What if Bruce was helping him heal, just so he could start another invasion? What if Loki was playing them?

"Look, I'll have JARVIS increase security protocols and his surveillance of Loki. I can even have him scan brain waves so we'll automatically know if Loki's up do something- even though he doesn't have his magic glow stick of destiny anymore" Tony offered "You can interrogate him later."

"Fine, you bet I will"

* * *

 

Bruce washed his hands again, thoroughly lathering them in soap and rubbed them against each other in an attempt to get the phantom feeling of Loki's blood off of them, despite the fact he had worn surgical gloves there had been so much blood Bruce felt like it had soaked through the gloves.

Loki would be okay. It didn't look like it at first, the stab wound had gone although Loki's lithe body, tearing its way through skin, muscle and tissue. At first Bruce couldn't stop the blood, it just kept welling up at the surface of Loki's skin, staining everything it touched with the sticky substance.

At first Bruce had thought he was already dead, Loki had been so cold, if it wasn't for the sound of him struggling to breathe Bruce would have called it right there and then. Thor had assured him that Loki's low temperature was normal for him, because of him being a Frost Giant? Strange.

Eventually, Bruce managed to stop the bleeding; through a mixture of cauterising and sewing things shut. Thor had had to help roll Loki so Bruce could look at the wound on his back. It was startling to see the scars that decorated Loki's body, even Thor had gasped in surprise at the criss-crossing lines and circular burns that were scattered all over the God's skin, claiming that it took a lot to scar them.

Bruce tried to ignore all the evidence of torture. He tried to remember the bitter and angry God that tried to rule the planet. But he couldn't. Loki would whimper and talk despite the anaesthetic. He repeated that he was sorry; he called out for his mother- to which Thor responded brokenly that she couldn't come. Thor attempted to soothe his brother by running his large hand through Loki's hair- it worked a bit.

After bandaging Loki's chest Bruce had turned to wash his hands, he hadn't stopped cleaning them yet. Out of the corner of his eye Bruce could see Thor whispering to Loki. It was strange to see the God of Thunder be quiet for once. How was this Loki the same one that tried to rule Earth?

"He will be okay, yes?" Thor asked, shaking Bruce from his thoughts.

"Hopefully, I'll keep an eye on him but all things considered he's looking pretty good. Considering how much blood he's lost he should have had a blood transfusion. But his blood is so different to that of ours and yours. It has a lower natural temperature and different counts of red and white blood cells. I can't risk giving him a transfusion, it could hurt him more." Bruce explained, Thor just nodded

"His magic should be able to help with that. Before there was so much damage it was just trying to him alive, now it can focus on healing specific areas he'll be okay"

Both Bruce and Thor watch Loki in silence for several moments. The young God appeared to be sleeping peacefully for once, snuffling slightly when he moved his head. Bruce could see Thor smiling softly as he took his brother's hand.

"You've forgiven him completely haven't you?" Bruce asked

"I promised myself I wouldn't. I promised that any love I had for him he didn't return. I swore my brother no longer existed. Our mother pushed me to visit him, but I refused, she claimed that all of this was bigger than it seemed." Thor sighed

"You see, our mother had the power of premonition, she could never say what she saw, the Norns forbade it. But that didn't prevent her from being cryptic. Before I came down to stop Loki she told me to listen to him, to focus on why he was doing this. He was confused, he couldn't remember things properly."

"What do you mean?"

"He thought I pushed him from the Bifrost, he let go, he tried to kill himself. Yet he couldn't remember. It was like his mind was distorted. Mother told me later on, that she didn't believe he was in control of his actions. I didn't believe her; I thought she was making excuses for him like she always did. Now I wish I'd visited him sooner. On Svartalfheim it was like having my little brother back. He saved my life. He protected Jane's, he protected the universe. That's the Loki I know. That's my baby brother. Not what he was during the invasion." Thor sighed "He risked everything to do what is right. In my heart I know there is no way he would want to harm Midgardians, or rule them"

"Sirs" JARVIS suddenly sounded

"Yes JARVIS" Bruce said

"Mr Stark is on his way to the medical bay with Agents Barton and Romanoff, I was told to alert them when you were finished attending to Mr Laufeyson"

"Don't call him that" Thor snapped "He's name is Friggason."

"My apologies Mr Odinson, I was going off what the Prose Edda suggests"

"You are forgiven. But for future reference that book is not accurate." Thor scowled

"What? You're telling me Loki didn't do the frick-frack with a My Little Pony and give birth to Octo-Steed?" Tony asked upon entering the room.

"I know not of what you refer" Thor shrugged "But that book does not capture my brother in a flattering light, nor myself to be truthful"

"Aw shame, I had a good ol' laugh after reading up on some of the crazy shit you and your buddies got up to back in the day" Tony laughed.

"How is he Bruce?" Natasha asked, gesturing to Loki with the tilt of her head

"He's stable" Bruce stated

"What more than that?" she pressed

"The wound on his chest has been stabilized, the bleeding stopped and it will hopefully heal in a couple of days if Thor's estimate of Loki's magic is correct. He is showing physical signs of torture. Scars cover his back, arms and torso. I haven't examined him below the waist or psychologically, however there is indication that the scaring will continue with both"

"How recent is the scaring?"

"He didn't have it before he fell from the Bifrost, it is recent" Thor commented

"So it could either be from before the invasion or during his time in prison?" Natasha queried

"It would not have happened on Asgard. There are laws about protecting prisoners. That and my mother met with Loki regularly, she would not have allowed any harm to come to him. No guard would have risked her wrath. Loki may have been a prisoner, but in a lot of people's eyes he is still a prince. Odin has yet to formally denounce him and remove him from the line of succession"

Thor pushed some fallen hair out of Loki's sleeping face; the fallen God whimpered again at the touch but made no move to wake.

"He was harmed before the invasion"

"You're saying he was controlled too, aren't you" Clint finally spoke up, Thor sighed heavily.

"I do not know without talking to him about it. But Loki has never wanted to rule, he only ever wanted to be my equal in our father's eyes. Even as children, when I dreamt of being king he longed to travel, to find a lover and marry, have children. He wanted to learn, to read, to teach. But never to rule."

"Coulson was right," Natasha said "He lacked conviction"

"Aye, it made no sense. Maybe he was controlled or coerced. I do not know. But I think we should hold off our judgement for now."

Everyone was once again silent for a moment, all thinking about Thor's revelation. Clint most of all. He couldn't blame Loki if he had also been controlled. He remembered all the time he spent with Loki. The amount of times Loki would flinch when someone brushed passed him. The amount of times he would sit there, staring off into space, before jolting back to reality- shaking in fear. He remembered Loki's hesitation to attack, he remembered Loki not knowing what to do.

Everything fell into place, all of a sudden everything made sense. Of course Loki wasn't in control; he was just following orders like the rest of them. He was just a front, a face for the invasion, someone to take the fall if everything went wrong, like it did. Loki was innocent.

"Hey guys," Steve said, walking into the room, "JARVIS told me what had happened"

"Where's Bucky?" Tony asked

"It was a tough session today, he needed some alone time" Steve stated

"If Loki's staying maybe we should get him a therapist." Bruce suggested

"Is he staying?" Steve asked, turning to Tony

"I don't know, are you gonna take him back to Asgard?"

"No, not if I can help it. Father will not listen. We technically committed treason on our way out of Asgard. I do not think we will be in the Allfather's graces. I must try and convince him to investigate Loki's torture; he will be safer away from Asgard. But if you do not wish for him to stay here I can always ask Jane to watch him." Thor explained

"As a doctor I would advice he stays here, so I can keep an eye on him" Bruce said

"Well then he can stay. As long as he doesn't cause any trouble"

"Look at him Stark;" Clint added "he doesn't look like he could cause anything right now"

"True" Tony shrugged

"I will wait until he wakes up," Thor stated, "Then I will leave for Asgard."

"Awesome, we just have one problem" Tony pointed out "Who's gonna tell Fury?"

* * *

* * *

 

Loki was in the palace gardens. In his mother's gardens. Which was his first clue that something wasn't quite right? Was he dead? He was supposed to be on Midgard; maybe Thor hadn't been fast enough to save him. Was he in Valhalla?

No, he was in Asgard. But why? He didn't feel dead; well he didn't think he did. Who knows what being dead feels like? Loki felt numb; looking down to his clothes they were no longer ripped. Upon feeling his chest he didn't have a gaping hole any more. Had he healed? Was he dead?

He was stood by the stone bench in his mother's garden. Besides the cool clear fountain that always ran. To the left was the tall oak tree that Loki spent most of his childhood. He would read there, hide from his brother and his friends. Part of him wanted to climb it again.

"Loki" a familiar voice called. Loki whipped around to see his mother. She wore a long blue silky dress and her blonde hair was plaited and twisted around his head in look Loki had seen frequently throughout his life.

"Mother" Loki gasped, "You're alive?"

"No my child"

"Then I am dead?"

"No," Frigga laughed, soft and musical "You're dreaming my son." Frigga said, stepping closer to him.

"So you're a figment of my imagination"

"Wrong again little one, do you think something so fickle as death would keep us apart. Maybe I cannot reach you when you are awake, I cannot be physical. But there is a thin line between unconsciousness and death, those of us who can walk the branches of Yggdrasil can cross that barrier from time to time" Frigga explained

"Did you suffer?" Loki asked, tears in his eyes, threatening to fall.

"No Loki, it was quick. Do not worry about me, everything will be fine. I'm here for you." Frigga smiled; bring a hand up to rest on Loki's cheek. Loki leaned into the touch

"What do you mean?"

"You are being given a fresh start Little Lamb. I know not of what Odin will do, but you're on Midgard. You can start again, build yourself back up. Make friends, work hard. Find yourself, do what you always wanted. This is your chance, grab it with both hands and for Norns sake do not let go." Frigga urged, taking hold of both is hands and gripping them tight. Loki nodded, sensing her urgent tone.

"You must wake up now Loki; it's time to begin this new story. The one where you are finally in control of your actions, the one where you can be free. Go, we will see each other again, this is not the end."

"Mother, about what I said-"

"I know you didn't mean it my child, you were upset and lashing out" Frigga pulled Loki into a hug "I know you love me, as I love you Little Lamb" she kissed his forehead "But for now you must wake"

* * *

 

"Dr Banner, I believe he is awakening" Thor's voice broke through Loki's groggy mind as he tried to open his eyes. They felt heavy and stuck and when Loki finally did manage to pry his eyelids apart for a fraction of a second he was forced to close them as the bright light burnt his irises.

"JARVIS, dim the lights" another voice called, Loki presumed it was that of Dr Banner. Once again Loki tried to open his eyes, this time with much more success. His bright green eyes opened and immediately met Thor's pale blue ones.

"Brother " Thor, who was leaning over him, broke into a large smile "You're awake" Loki couldn't help but return his brother's smile.

"Thor, give him some space" Dr Banner called, pressing his hand lightly against Thor's chest guiding him back. Loki flinched back as Dr Banner's other hand brushed against his blanket covered leg. "It's okay Loki, I won't hurt you"

"You did before" Loki croaked, his voice hoarse. He pushed himself up on weak arms so he was sitting in the bed.

"That was the Other Guy, and anyway. Do you think I'd really spend all this time sewing you back together just to hurt you?"

"I suppose that would an inefficient way to spend your time"

"Inefficient," Bruce smiled "yes. How are you feeling?"

"My throat is dry, my chest is sore and I feel dizzy" Loki replied, still a little uncertain of the doctor's intentions.

"Thor, get Loki some water" Banner said before pulling out a slim torch form a pocket and shining it in Loki's eyes. "I'm just testing your responsiveness to light. You're most likely dizzy due to dehydration but it's better to be safe than sorry"

Thor handed Loki a glass of water which he sipped slowly, knowing that no matter how much he wanted to gulp down the cool liquid he couldn't, it may make him sick. Dr Banner smiled at the pair before excusing himself out of the room. Thor brushed Loki's black hair out of his eyes, it was greasy and some of it had the sand of Svartalfheim stuck in it. As if reading his mind Thor sighed and took a black band off of his wrist.

"Turn around" Loki shifted on the bed so he was faced away from his brother. Loki didn't know where Thor got a hairbrush from but soon he was running the brush through Loki's hair.

"I know you would prefer to wash it, but its best you rest some more for now. You look tired" Thor said as he brushed his brother's hair.

"I feel tired" Loki replied simply, the pair stayed quiet for a while before Thor began to talk again.

"I have to leave now you're awake, I must return to Father"

"Why, I'm sure the old man can survive without you"

"I must speak with him on your behalf; I will not have him imprison you again. You are my brother, even if we share no blood; I will not allow him to punish you when you are innocent"

"What makes you think I am innocent?" Loki asked simply as Thor began to plait his long hair

"You once asked me if I was ever going to see through your illusions, the thing is brother; you can't cast an illusion when you're asleep." Thor explained "I've seen your scars Loki. You said Thanos was real, you said that he hurt you. That it was either you or "one of the others" that would come to invade Midgard."

"I didn't-"

"You don't have to tell me right now. I won't pretend to understand what you're going through, what you have been through. But you'll have to tell Odin when the time comes."

Loki nodded at Thor's words, well the best he could with his brother's hands in his hair. Loki sighed and focused his gaze on his hands, they were stained with blood and dirt as well, he hoped he would be able to bathe soon.

"I will" Loki said simply, "If you are leaving what is to happen to me?"

"Man of Iron says you can stay here as long as you do not cause any problems." Thor repeated the previous conversation "Banner even suggested hiring a mind healer to help you deal with what has happened. A close friend of the Captain's is also under their treatment and he claims it has helped him. Captain says he was also tortured and controlled- made to kill against his will"

"I will speak with someone if you wish" Loki said, remembering his mother's words "I wish to get better; I do not wish to feel so broken, so angry at the world. Anger and hatred meant my last words to mother were cruel and hurtful."

"I'm sure they were not that bad Loki" Thor sighed, as he worked the hair hand into Loki's hair.

"I told her she wasn't my mother" Loki whispered, turning to face Thor who froze at his words.

"Lítt Einn, she knew she was your mother. She stuck up for you, always. She loved you, she wanted me to come and see you. I was angry at you and refused, but she wanted us to resolve our differences. She wanted us to protect each other, like you protected me. She'd be so proud of you Loki"

"She would be infuriated with me" Loki laughed meekly

"Aye she would be infuriated at the two of us. I can imagine her now, "Thor Odinson, you're the oldest, you should have been more careful, you should have kept you brother safe" I have had that talk so many times"

"She would just look at me and say "I thought you were wiser then that" after she was done worrying about me of course" Loki smiled

"Of course" Thor returned the smiled; however it quickly fell from Loki's face.

"Why wasn't I allowed to go to her funeral?" The smile on Thor's face also disappeared;

"I wanted you there; we all thought you should be. No matter what you had done in the past Mother would have wanted you there. We went to Odin, the Warriors Three, Lady Sif and I, to ask for your presence. Odin refused; he claimed that you'd use it as an attempt to escape. I was so angry when I found out he'd sent a guard to tell you. I wanted to do it myself"

"Really?"

"Of course, I was mad at you but Mother had died, I needed my brother, no matter how angry I was, I still had the hope that you were still there"

"But you said-"

"I thought you liked tricks?" Loki smiled at his brother "You think I could really kill you?"

"Sentimental fool" Loki teased. Thor pulled Loki into a tight hug, making Loki wince, Thor pulled away quickly when he realised he was hurting his little brother, apologising immediately, Loki however dismissed his attempts with a playful role of his eyes.

"I love you, Little Brother"

"And I love you," Loki replied before teasingly adding "Now give us a kiss"

Thor laughed and pushed Loki's shoulder;

"You are incapable of sincerity." Thor stood up, preparing to leave "Now Lítt Einn, get some sleep, be good for the Avengers and be good." Thor kissed Loki's forehead and then he left the room to head towards Asgard. He had his brother's name to clear.


	2. Negodyay и Kotyenok

James Buchanan Barnes walked through Central Park, his foot falls making a soft rustle as he passed through the dew filled grass. The night air was crisp and fresh in his lungs and the trees were bathed in moonlight. He scanned the darker parts of the park; once again, making sure he was the only one there. He came here a night to be alone, he couldn't deal with all the people of New York; it was too busy, too loud.

But he had to stay; New York was where Steve was living, Bucky had to stay with soldier, SHIELD's orders. Steve said that they might move to DC soon, but Bucky had yet to see the real difference between the two places. They were both loud; they were both full of people, they both weren't safe.

Bucky liked the quiet. That's why he came to the park in the middle of the night with his camera. He could take pictures of the owls, the rabbits, and no one would bother him. It gave him time to think, time to remember.

He'd started keeping notebooks. Dr Davis had recommended writing down everything he remembered about his past, hoping that maybe it would trigger something else. Bucky couldn't remember much at the start, but as time went on memories flowed a little easier. Steve was helping too, he could often help expand on what Bucky could remember; creating a full picture when Bucky himself could only recall fragments.

However, sometimes Bucky didn't know what he remembered and what he imagined happened, Steve was trying so hard to get Bucky to remember who he was back in the 1940's but that Bucky didn't exist anymore. Sometimes Bucky felt he needed to get away from Steve, just to figure out who he was now. He just wanted some time alone, where no one expected him to be something he wasn't.

So that's why Bucky, with the help of JARVIS, would sneak out of the Avenger's tower in the middle of the night to participate in a hobby that he'd recently discovered he enjoyed. He had first taken to photography on his phone, when Stark had found out he had laughed at his poor attempts and immediately brought Bucky the top of the range camera. Resulting in Bucky spending several days researching how to use it properly and reading up on the best techniques.

Bucky crouched down next to some bushes, using all his stealth training for something with a little more of a happier ending. Instead of carrying a gun, he shot things with his camera and that was what he enjoyed the most about his new hobby. The fact that he could use his training for something that he enjoyed.

Maybe one day he'd work for the government again. Steve always said he'd make a great asset to SHIELD. But then again, hearing the term asset to describe him again made him a little reluctant. He didn't want to be another tool, he didn't want to be used, but he did want to help people. Maybe make up for some of the damage he'd done in the past.

Bucky brought the camera up to his eyes and zoomed in slightly to the rabbit that was nibbling on a blade of grass a couple of feet ahead of him. He took the picture but after a moment he froze. He could here footsteps behind him. An uneven gait, light weight individual, someone was there.

Bucky's instincts took over, without a second thought he spun round, standing up in the process, fists posed ready to fight, only to be faced with a terrified squeak. His eyes immediately fell down to see the source of the noise, a tiny bundle of brown and black striped fur.

"Negodyay!" He exclaimed upon seeing the Raccoon "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you, I'm sorry" Bucky soothed, once again crouching down, he took his backpack off and unzipped it. The little raccoon crept closer with the familiarity of the situation. Bucky pushed the notebooks out of the way and pulled out a small bag of peanuts.

Negodyay squeaked again, this time with happiness as Bucky held out a handful of peanuts. The raccoon took the food, quick to forgive the previous startling, and shoved them into its little mouth. As it did so Bucky reach out with his other hand, the metal one and began to gently pet Negodyay, who didn't seem to mind.

"Are you going to pose for some pictures tonight for me Negodyay?" He asked softly. In response the tiny mammal leant into his touch. At that Bucky smiled, at least there was one creature in the entire planet that accepted Bucky for who he was right now. There was no judgement from Negodyay and that was the main reason why James Buchanan Barnes came to Central Park in the middle of the night, for acceptance.

* * *

* * *

 

Clint Barton settled comfortably in the arm chair in the living room of the Avengers Tower, he was enjoying his week off. SHIELD was slowly rebuilding itself after the HYDRA attack. Of course this meant there was more work to do than ever, taking down those remaining HYDRA agents and bases, but for now he'd been given a little time off. Ever since the attack on New York, SHIELD had been a little lenient with his hours, giving him more time to "rest and recuperate" after a mission.

And how did one of SHIELD's top agents spent his free time? Well by knitting of course. There was something simply repetitive and calming about the motion of knitting, it meant he got to keep his hands busy when he wasn't firing arrows. It helped reduce the stress of his job and gave him something to focus on besides the traumas he had been through in the past.

But now he was thinking about the one think he usually tried to avoid. Loki. According to Bruce the God of Mischief was doing okay. He was apparently sleeping a lot and was very quiet now Thor had gone back to Asgard. Which was kind of disturbing considering how loud his brother was, and the fact he kind of pulled focus during the invasion.

Clint had looked in on Loki once or twice, despite the revelation that he may have not been in his right mind during the attack hadn't soothed Clint's paranoia. But every time Loki had been asleep, which was making it really hard to hate him. He looked so much younger when he was asleep, his brow was no longer creased with worry or concentration and his whole body seemed relaxed, which appeared to be a foreign concept to the deity.

Clint didn't know what to think anymore Of course he didn't want to blame the victim, if Loki was the victim. He himself had been forgiven for any crime he may have committed under the influence of the sceptre, and Bucky had been pardoned for his crimes under HYDRA. Maybe Loki could be pardoned too.

But then again what if this was a trick? Loki was a shape shifter and a master illusionist; he could easily make it look like his pale skin was covered in scars. Thor didn't have the best track record for not falling for Loki's illusions and Bruce had been manipulated by him before. The entire situation was a mess.

Clint sighed to himself as he continued to knit. He liked to make blankets, scarves and jumpers for the homeless or little hats for premature babies. He liked to help society in some way other than killing people. Of course that wasn't all his job entailed, but lately, he'd seen too much death. Maybe little knitted hats weren't the biggest help he could do to the world, but at least he was providing comfort for some one.

"Clint, you okay?" a voice called, startling him out of his thoughts, almost making him drop a stitch.

"Oh hey Nat" Clint smiled, quickly recovering from the mistake and continued with his knitting. Natasha shook her head slightly in disbelief; she always liked to tease him over his knitting. For no other reason than it was a "boring" past time and he "should be out, doing something fun"

"What's on your mind" Natasha asked again, sitting in the chair opposite, looking at him with _that_ look. The one that could make you spill all of your secrets without even realising it.

"What do you think?"

"Loki?" Clint nodded "We'll speak to him soon enough, I think you need to just give him time. Bruce says the use of his healing magic is draining his energy. He's sleeping all the time apparently. Bruce is really struggling to get him to eat because he's so tired."

"Will he be okay?" Clint asked, despite any ill will he had for Loki he needed answers, answers only Loki could give. Clint didn't want him to die. He didn't want the young God to starve himself through his inability to keep his eyes open.

"Yeah, Bruce has got him on some drips to help him or something. He said that if he doesn't get better he'll insert a feeding tube. But he doesn't think it'll get that far. When he's awake, he's awake enough to eat. When he does wake up he is staying awake for longer now. Bruce even thinks his stitches can come out in the next couple of days."

"That good" Clint sighed "Do you think he's innocent?"

"I think there are a lot of unanswered questions, lots of holes in the story of both options. Thor genuinely believes Loki is innocent, and in a way he has the best idea of Loki's character and personality. What Thor said about Loki wanting to be equal to him, but not king seems more accurate" Natasha explained

"And despite Thor saying the Prose Edda is inaccurate it supports the idea that Loki was controlled"

"What do you mean?"

"In the Edda Loki is a very free spirit, he causes problems for many people, especially some Goddess called Freya, he says what he thinks and he enjoys playing tricks. He also cannot hold his alcohol" Clint snorted at that "If any of that is even remotely accurate why would Loki fight against freedom, when it seems to be one of the things he treasures most"

"If he was controlled, what do we do?" Clint pointed out

"What we do with Bucky, let him stay, be here if he needs us but respect his space. There's not much we can do. Thor will probably take over whatever happens, like Steve is responsible for Bucky." Natasha shrugged.

"Hey you two, talking about Loki" Tony asked walking into the living room, going straight to the adjoining kitchen to get some coffee. He returned a moment later with a steaming cup before sitting on the sofa himself.

"Yeah, what do you think? Innocent or guilty?" Clint pressed

"Jay, open project Bambi" Tony simply replied, without a word JARVIS projected multiple images of Loki into the middle of the room. Clint flinched as he saw an image of Loki's first appearance at the old SHIELD base.

"Okay, I noticed a couple of things. First off, when Loki first appeared through the portal. Look at him, he's sweating, out of breath, he seems disorientated. He has bags under his eyes, indicating he was tired." Tony said, gesturing to the pictures before seemingly flipping the image over to reveal a video of Loki and his newly collected entourage leaving the base.

"Here he trips over, see" Tony pointed out just as Loki on the screen stumble over his own feet. "Everything we're seeing here seems to suggest signs of heat exhaustion. You remember when Thor said Loki was adopted? He's a Frost Giant, how do you hurt a Frost Giant? Heat." Tony revealed

"So you found evidence of torture before the invasion" Natasha nodded

"Not only that," Tony brought up several pictures of Loki at different points during the invasion and then he zoomed in on the eyes of each pictures. "What colour are his eyes?"

"Blue" both Natasha and Clint said at the same time; "The same blue my eyes went when Loki's sceptre got me" Clint added

"Good, blue, creepy sceptre blue" Tony smiled, bringing up another picture, this time more recent, of Loki in the bed in the medical bay. "What colour are his eyes in this picture?"

"Green" the two assassins chorused

"Exactly, I asked Thor, before he left for Asgard, what colour Loki's eyes are, he said green. He seemed really confused as to why I was asking him too. But anyway it looks like Loki was also controlled by the Sceptre, like you were Clint. So to answer your question I think he's innocent."

"I think at this point Tony, we all do" Clint replied sighing, staring back at his brightly coloured scarf, no longer wanting to continue.

* * *

 

Loki winced as Dr Banner pulled out the last of the stitches in his back. The good doctor had decided that he had healed enough at this point for the stitches to come out. Loki was feeling much better than he had for a while. He could feel that his chest was almost completely healed again. His Seidr had worked continuously over the past couple of days and Loki finally felt good enough to get out of bed.

"There we go, all done" Dr Banner smiled, handing Loki a green T-Shirt as he sat up. Stark had brought him the clothes the day Thor left, they were softer than the leather and metal he was used to wearing and he was grateful for the other's generosity.

"Thank you Dr Banner" Loki whispered, pulling the shirt over his head, he had to pull the plait Thor had done several days ago out of the collar of the shirt, frowning at how messy it had become.

"Please Loki, call me Bruce"

"Very well"

"Is there anything you need? Bruce asked

"Is there a chance I could bathe? I cannot remember when I last got the opportunity to wash properly" Loki inquired.

"Yes, yes. Of course. Erm, there is a bathroom just through there," Bruce said pointing to a little door in the corner. Of course Loki already knew that it was there. He had been to the bathroom a few times since being here, however the Doctor's awkwardness was amusing to the God. "There should be towels, shampoo, everything you'll need in there."

"Thank you Dr... Bruce" Loki replied, carefully getting out of the bed. He wobbled slightly as he got to his feet, his legs unsure after several days of none use. Bruce automatically was at his side with a steadying hand, allowing him to sit back down on the bed.

"Are you sure you're okay? I don't want you to fall in the shower or something." Bruce asked voice full of concern.

"It has merely been a few days since I have used my legs for more than walking to the bathroom. I will be fine. Just give me a minute" Loki stated "I've been in much worse situations than this Bruce, and I'm still here."

"Okay, but if you need anything just call me or let JARVIS know. Thor would kill me if you got hurt under my watch"

"I highly doubt my brother would kill you, not for lack of trying, of course. He is very protective when he wants to be. But I saw your little fight on the helicarrier, you beat him with ease. You also broke a large quantity of my bones so I wouldn't worry about it." Bruce sat down on the bed next to Loki before he spoke himself.

"Oh god, I'm sorry. If I'd known what you were going through I wouldn't have attack you. Well, actually I don't know what would have happened; I don't have much control over the Other Guy. But I would have been more helpful afterwards. I wouldn't have let them muzzle you and throw you in a cell" Bruce fussed

"Honestly, I should thank you. Or this "Other Guy"" Loki smiled "It was you who helped me break free of Thanos' control. I believe the Widow called it cognitive recalibration, did she not?"

"What, why didn't you say anything? I thought the controlling thing stopped when you got to Asgard, because you were separated from the sceptre or something?"

"No. You smashed my head of the ground, it broke the connection, thank the Norns. And why do you think I did not say anything? People call me the God of Lies for a reason Bruce. I had just been defeated by you, what would you have thought if I started saying that it wasn't my fault? That I had been controlled by a creature that was used to frighten Thor and I as children? A creature thought to be a myth?" Loki explained

"I guess we would have thought you were lying"

"Exactly, Thor especially would have believed me to be lying. I had to accept that I would not get through to you Avengers. I hoped that my mother would be able to help convince fath- Odin that I was innocent. The moment she looked at me I knew she knew the truth. Alas Odin sent her away and apparently refused to listen to her council. I then hoped that after a few years Thor would become king and maybe he would listen. However this is the way things have gone, how the truth has been revealed"

Loki shrugged at the end of the story, like he didn't care about how his life had unfolded, but Bruce could see the pain in his eyes. The pain of not being believed, of being known as a liar even when it was not true. The pain caused by the loss of his mother.

"I'm sorry... about your Mom, she must have meant a lot to you" Bruce said softly

"Yes she did, she was always on my side, no matter what. Of course she would become angry if I was foolish or endangered myself but she always loved me. She protected me from Odin's rage. She softened punishments when she could and was always there to tend to my wounds when she could not" Bruce looked up at Loki, seeing himself in the young God.

"My mom was like that" Bruce smiled "She always tried to protect me from my father"

"Was?" Loki asked

"He killed her when I was little, my Aunt raised me." Bruce sighed, not really wanting to go into detail about his abusive drunk of a father. "I'm not saying I know what you're feeling but all of us here have experienced loss. A lot of us have experienced losing our mother's and none of us have had great relationships with our parents. You're not alone"

Loki nodded to himself.

"Thank you," he stood up, making Bruce look up "I will bathe now"

"Do you know how to work everything?" Bruce asked, reminded of Thor's inability to work anything.

"Yes, unlike my brother I have frequently visited Midgard since the time when we were worshiped, I have always enjoyed watching your science and technology develop."

With that Loki walked into the bathroom, ending their conversation.

* * *

 

Bucky sat at his desk looking through his new pictures on his laptop, there were plenty of new ones of Negodyay and several of some rabbits and one of a frog. He smiled happily at the little raccoon, Negodyay didn't always appear when Bucky went to the park, but he always had peanuts or some other form of food ready to tempt the creature closer if it did decide to grace him with its presence.

He wished he had a pet. He wasn't stupid; he knew he couldn't bring Negodyay home. It wasn't fair on the wild animal, it deserved to be free, also Bucky didn't think the others would be very happy with him bringing a raccoon home, they were not known to be friendly or hygienic animals.

But he really wanted a pet, maybe a cat or something. A fluffy animal that he could pet and care for, something he could care for, instead of being cared for himself for a change. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt he had once had a cat; a tabby cat with a white belly.

Bucky frowned to himself before reaching down to his bag that was at his feet and pulling out his latest notebook. Inside he wrote "Cat? - ask Steve". Maybe one day he'd get a cat again, or a dog. Who knows, for now he was content with seeing his raccoon.

"Sergeant Barnes," JARVIS called from the ceiling "Captain Rogers is appears to be coming to your room"

"Thanks JARVIS" Bucky smiled at the AI's sensor before closing the images of Negodyay and put his camera into the drawer. It wasn't that he didn't want Steve to know about his photography, he was pretty sure Tony would have told him. He just didn't want Steve to know he was sneaking out at night to take pictures- that wouldn't go down well.

"No problem Sergeant Barnes"

"You know you don't have to call me that, right? You could just call me Bucky like everyone else"

"I was programmed to address people with their official titles, however, after being acquainted with the number of people in this tower my protocols appear to be ignored, with everyone requesting different names. If it pleases you, I can call you Bucky" JARVIS explained

"It only seems fair, I call you by your first name" Bucky shrugged

"I fear it is an acronym Sir but very well"

Before Bucky could reply to the AI there was a sharp yet familiar knock on his door. Bucky shook his head and smiled once again before call out to Steve, allowing him to enter the room. He did, he smiled at Bucky, like he always did.

"There you are, I've been looking all over for you" Steve stated

"Really? "Bucky asked "You looked all over and you only decide to check my bedroom now?" he teased

"Well, to be honest I just got back from a run and scanned every room on my way here in case you were there." Steve shrugged

"You could have just asked JARVIS, he would have told you"

"I guess I could have. I kind of forget he's there, no offence JARVIS"

"I am an AI Captain Rogers, I am incapable of taking an offence" JARVIS commented. Steve cleared his throat.

"Well, look at you, all dressed. What are you doing?"

"Just looking stuff up, you know, catching up on things we missed. The world is a much stranger place than I remember" Bucky replied, thinking again of the many websites he had stumbled upon whilst exploring the internet, the weird movies and the strange new slang that changed every week.

"Speaking of remembering, you recall anything else?" Steve said mock-casually, crossing his arms and leaning against the door, seemingly forgetting that Bucky was a highly trained assassin who could read body language like a children's book.

"Maybe," he sighed "Did I have a cat?"

"Kind of," Steve replied, smiling softly once again "Your mom found this little scraggly thing you said was a cat, but I don't think any of us were sure, she gave it to you and your siblings but it was you and Rebecca who cared for it the most"

"She was the youngest one, yeah?" Bucky asked, he could see his family in his mind now, more clearly than he had done in the past, and he knew their names, he just had a bit of trouble matching them together. But at Steve's nod he could see little Becky in his mind, bright blonde hair and grey eyes. He huffed out a laughed to himself, Bucky and Becky, ridiculous.

"What happened to her?" he asked

"I don't know Buck. I looked for her a little when I first woke up but I couldn't find her, nor Henry and Charlotte." Steve said quietly, "Pretty much everyone from our time is dead Buck"

"Even that girl you liked?" Bucky asked "Her name began with a P, I think"

"Peggy, she's alive. But she's old and sick. I've been visiting her when I can. Her doctors don't think she'll live much longer" Steve replied sadly, Bucky frowned too, in another world, another life; Bucky knew the two of them had something special, he knew they would have married and had children. Yet it was not to be.

"Well then, what are you doing here with me, go see her. Spend all the time you can with her. We've been given extra time for a reason, don't waste it."

"What about you?" Steve asked, putting a hand on his shoulder

"I'm not a kid Punk; I can be on my own for a couple of hours." Bucky laughed "Anyway JARVIS and Tony are trying to accommodate me to the 21st Century. It's taking a while"

"You seem to be adjust all right, better than me anyway" Steve pointed out, gesturing to Bucky's laptop. "Then again you always were a nerd,"

"Shut up, just cuz I'm not scared of the internet"

"I've seen things that I never wanted to see" Steve laughed putting his hands up in mock surrender. Bucky joined in laughing, knowing exactly what sites Steve was referring to, he had been there when Steve had discovered them.

"You're such a virgin" Bucky teased, Steve blushed, "Oh my God, you still are, aren't you? Even when you look like that?" Bucky waved a hand, gesturing to Steve's body. The light pink blush on Steve's cheeks darkened.

"I haven't exactly had time to meet someone Buck, and I really don't like the idea of... having relations... with some random women." Bucky rolled his eyes at Steve

"If you can't say it Kid you definitely shouldn't be doing it," he teased

"I know its old fashioned but I want to wait" Steve stated

"I'm only teasing, you know that" Bucky smiled, he liked it when things like this happened, when they could tease each other. It felt like they'd known each other for years. In reality they had, but Bucky couldn't remember a lot of it. However, he guessed deep down it was their personalities that made them friends in the first place. And the further Bucky got away from HYDRA the more he could be himself. Maybe he didn't have to be the old Bucky to please Steve, maybe they could be friends without his memories.

"I do. Well have fun with Tony" Steve said, pushing himself off the wall, getting ready to leave "Are you sure you don't want to come to with me"

"Go Punk, before I make you" Bucky smiled

"Yeah, yeah Jerk." Steve sighed, shoving Bucky's shoulder gently, also smiling before leaving the room.

"Mr Stark is in his lab if you wish to speak with him" JARVIS stated after a moment of silence

"No JARVIS. I'm gonna have a nap"

"You're going out again tonight?" JARVIS asked

"Yeah, it's a full moon tonight; I wanna get some photos of it"

"Very well Sir"

* * *

 

Logically, Loki knew he was dreaming. He knew he was having a nightmare. But logic doesn't really come in to play when fear overrides all of your senses. He recognised where he was, of course he did. How could he forget? He had spent so long on Thanos' cold, stony planet, so long in the concrete cells.

Loki took a step forward, the dark purplish ground crunching under his boot. Another sign he was dreaming, he was wearing his armour, not the soft Midgardian garb he had been wearing when he had lay down to rest. It had to be a dream.

His heart pounded in his chest, he could feel his pulse under his skin and he could hear the beating in his ears. His mouth and throat were dry and his lungs struggled to inhale enough oxygen. Loki looked around, turning around, eyes darting about, trying to ensure he was on his own. But he wasn't.

"Are you scared little God?" a sly voice hissed in his ear, foul breath ghosting over his skin, Loki spun round again, yet he could see no one, just the vast expanse of shadowed rock formations and space.

"I promised you, did I not? That if you failed I would make you long for something as sweet as pain." It hissed from behind him again, but this time Loki remained still. "Well little Jotun, you failed me. You cost me the Tesseract, you lost the sceptre and you have sent the Aether through a black hole."

Loki tried to swallow, but fear had made him freeze, tears prickled in his eyes, threatening to fall. A clawed hand rested on his shoulder and Loki whimpered as they dug in to the flesh.

"I knew I should have sent your brother, Hideo would not have failed, he would not have hesitated to kill the Odinson, you are a weak, sentimental, fool and you betrayed me." Thanos hissed "Your sisters betrayed me as well Loki. Gamora and Nebula have joined with a mortal, they plan to stop me. Yet they will not. I will collect all the infinity stones Loki and I will destroy this universe. No matter what your Avengers and Gamora's Guardians do. It will all be for naught."

"Why tell me this?" Loki gasped as blood welled around the claws of the Mad Titan, dribbling down his armour. Thanos laughed, it sounded more like a growl.

"Because I enjoy watching you suffer. You will never know when I am coming. It may be weeks, or it may be centuries. But one day I will achieve my dream. I will have all the stones and I will gift this universe to Lady Death. I will come for you one day, but you will not know when. I have time, I am immortal. I will make you long for death, for an end"

Claws ripped deep into his arm, causing Loki to scream out in pain. Loki's eyes shot open and around him the dark planet faded away, only to be replaced by the darkness of the medical room. Loki gasped for breath, but no matter what he did here couldn't get enough air. He scanned the room, for any sign of the Mad Titan. But he could not see anything in the pitch black.

Loki's panic worsened, he felt he was still being watched, he felt that Thanos was in the room with him. He wasn't alone, he wasn't safe. His shoulder burned with the phantom feeling of Thanos' claws, he felt as if his shirt was sticking to his blood coated skin but upon touching his chest he found it only damp with sweat.

"Sir? Do you require Dr Banner?" Loki jumped at the voice, panic making his brain fuzzy and illogical. He had to escape, he had to get away. Loki tried to get out of the bed but the sheets tangled around his feet making him fall out of the bed.

His Seidr reacted on instinct as the ground rose to meet him and by the time he reach the floor he had shifted into a small black cat. Landing easily on his four soft paws. He immediately bolted through the half open door to the room and leapt down the dark hall.

He didn't know if the voice was chasing him, he didn't know where he was, he presumed he was still in the Avengers tower but he couldn't be sure. He ran as quick as his little legs could carry him, disorientated he continued to flee. But he was unused to his new form; he was not comfortable with his speed, size or shape. Loki ran towards some steps, attempting to leap down them, but he misjudged the distance, he ended up slipping on a step and went tumbling down them, crashing into something, or rather someone at the bottom.

"Kotyenok?" a voice sounded, belonging to the man he'd crashed into. The man bent down and scooped him up, one hand was gloved, the other was cold and metallic. "Ssh it's okay Kotenok." He petted Loki's ears in a soft soothing motion but Loki hissed and tried to scratch him. "Hey!" the man protested as his claws slid harmlessly across the man's metal arm.

"JARVIS, where did he come from?" the man asked

"It is Mr Odinson's brother, his name is Loki. I believe he had a nightmare, which caused a panic attack. I then startled him further by asking if he was alright. He transformed into a cat and ran away" JARVIS explained, despite understanding the words Loki flattened his ears and hissed at the invisible voice.

"What? This is a person? How?"

"He is a natural shape shifter, according to his brother. Magic Sir" Loki twisted his body in the man's grip trying to bite, to scratch, to do something "According to his heart rate, blood pressure and behaviour Sir, I conclude that Mr Friggason is still panicking"

"Oh you're scared? It's okay, no one will hurt you here" The man said, trying to pet him gain, yet Loki still struggled to get away. "That was just JARVIS he's an AI, like a robot. He can hurt you or anything. He's a friend. I'm a friend. You're safe, no one will hurt you" Loki stopped struggling against the man's grip, his heart beat slowing and panic receding, the man's soothing words and tone seeming to make him realise he was no longer trapped by Thanos. The Mad Titan couldn't pursue him here.

"There we go Kotyenok. You're safe," The man pet him again and this time Loki let him and purred lightly at the feeling of his fingers scratching behind his ears, refusing to admit to himself how weird the situation actually was. "JARVIS does anyone know he's moved out of his room?"

"I was about to alert Dr Banner"

"Don't, he can come to my room, we'll talk or something. Just let Bruce know if he wakes up and can't find him"

"Of course" JARVIS replied

The man then held Loki tighter as he began to move back up the steps the cat had just fallen down, Loki dug his claws into the man's coat, more for his own protection than out of fear or aggression, he didn't want to be dropped. Falling down the stairs once was embarrassment enough, thank you.

Loki was brought into a room that had soft grey walls with a solid black feature wall, the lights automatically came on as they entered the room, Loki assumed they either operated on some form of sensor or JARVIS had turned them on for the pair.

The room was nice, immediately as they walked in there was a wooden desk on the right, up against the door. The king size bed was in the centre of the room, pressed against the back wall and each side had a dresser. Also in the room was a bookcase full of books (Loki later learnt that they were in various languages), a chest of drawers and wardrobe, both presumably full of clothes. There was also a door leading to what appeared to be a bathroom.

The man carefully put Loki down on his bed before taking his back pack off and placing it next to the cat before opening it. Curious Loki took a couple of steps forward, catching a glimpse of a camera, some extra batteries and 3 notebooks before he was gently pushed away by the man's metal hand.

Loki watched as the man took out the camera and batteries and began to put them away in a drawer in the desk before returning for the bag and putting that away too. The man reminded Loki of his brother. Not Thor, but Hideo. Of course they weren't actually related, but then again neither were he and Thor. Hideo was another of Thanos' children, brother to Gamora, Nebula and himself.

Hideo was the first. Loki felt sorry for him. He had metal arms, Loki thought sitting down on the bed, wrapping his tail around himself. He was mostly metal, Thanos had experimented on him the most, he was hardly a person any more, more machine. Loki was glad Thanos hadn't experimented on him the same way he had with the others.

He was always improving them with mechanical implants, Loki was lucky, Thanos hadn't wanted risking losing his magic, instead he liked to see how far he could push Loki's healing ability. Trying to break him, trying to increase his tolerance to the power of the infinity stone he possessed whilst using it to control him. It hadn't been fun. Sure, now he could hold the stones without exploding or going mad, but Thanos only taught him that so Loki could be some errand boy, retrieving the stones for him.

"Kotyenok? Are you okay" the man asked, shaking Loki from his thoughts, Loki meowed in response, if a cat could sound sarcastic, it sounded sarcastic. He stared at the man; he was a cat what did he expect him to do.

"Oh so you're a mythical Norse deity who has transformed himself into a cat, but you can't talk? Wow buddy really letting the side down." The man laughed, petting Loki's head again, this time Loki dodged his hand, instead leaping down off the bed, shifting again as soon as his paws hit the floor.

"Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting to be man handled by a random stranger who would then want to hold a conversation" Loki snapped defensively, but the man just laughed. For a second Loki tensed, however he could here no malice in the man's laughter.

"Hey, you're the one who fell down the stairs," The man pointed out; again there was no malice, no hatred, no fear. Loki scowled

"James Buchanan Barnes" the man smiled, shrugging off his coat (he'd taken the glove off whilst Loki wasn't paying attention and he'd stuffed it in the coat's pocket) and he hung the coat up in the wardrobe "My friends call me Bucky"

"Well as you are already aware, my name is Loki"

"Yeah I know. So you wanna talk about whatever's upset you" James asked, but Loki was reluctant to answer.

"Why were you coming back in the middle of the night?" Loki asked instead. Bucky sighed to himself, sensing the game Loki was playing, he wanted to know more about him before he revealed what was bothering him. Fair enough.

"I like to take pictures. There are some animals at the park that come out a night. So I go and photograph them." Bucky sat on the chair by the desk, Loki seeing his relaxed nature also sat down, back on the edge of the bed. "There's a really cute raccoon I feed peanuts. I think raccoon's might just be my favourite animals. What's your favourite animal?"

"A wolf, I like wolves." Loki said simply

"Really not cats?" James teased

"It was instinctual. Cat's land better than most animals and I was running away, I needed to be quick" Bucky looked a Loki, who sighed heavily, apparently deciding that the small titbit of information James had shared was worthy of knowledge.

"I had a nightmare, satisfied?"

"I'm not judging you Loki, Lord knows I have more than my share of nightmares. I feel if I tire myself out enough at night I'll sleep better. Doesn't always work, but it's the most effective method I've found" As soon as he'd said it Bucky didn't know why? He felt like he could trust Loki, which in itself was an entirely new feeling. He hadn't felt he could trust anyone in years. Steve coming closer than anyone, but still not close enough to hear about his nightmares.

"There are some sleeping spells that I have tried, some prevent nightmares, however not all of my nightmares are in my head." Loki replied as if it were normal.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean" Bucky asked, leaning back as far as the chair would go, without falling over.

"Some come directly from others. I live in a world were real magical monsters exist James, someone as powerful as Thanos could easily manipulate my subconscious when my own magic is down."

"So you're still being controlled?" Bucky asked, Steve had filled him in on pretty much everything Loki related, he knew about New York, the Chitauri invasion, he knew what the other Avenges knew. It wasn't hard to make the conclusion that this Thanos had been Loki's handler.

"No." Loki shook his head "I've put up my defences. It is usually active all the time, but with my recent injury and attempts to heal a lot of my charms and illusions fell. Thanos was able to attack my subconscious while they were down. Now he cannot" Bucky watched as Loki fidgeted, playing with his long fingers.

"Do you wanna talk about it" Bucky questioned, he saw himself in Loki. Both of them were broken, both had been used by someone else and cast aside like they were nothing. One of them had been called "the asset" the other had been called a son. Both had been torture. Both of them needed someone to trust.

"It is alright, they are but words. They cannot harm me now. Thanos has however, provided me with the information that my sisters are also free of his control, just my brother remains"

"You have other siblings?"

"There were four of us; Hideo was the oldest, then Gamora, Nebula and I. We were known as Thanos' children. We were available for hire, to the highest bidder. We would gather information, steal things, and assassinate people. Whatever we were told to do"

"Sounds a lot like my Winter Soldier work, there were several of us too. I was the first, the others came later. I can't say I felt any sort of comradeship with them; they were as bad as HYDRA. But we did whatever was wanted from us. More assassinations than anything else" Bucky replied "What does it mean for you? That your sisters are free"

"Less people looking for me. A greater chance of defeating Thanos in the end. More people looking for the infinity stones"

"Infinity stones?"

"You are an inquisitive little mortal, aren't you?" Loki smirked

"Hey, less of the little you, and mortal. I'm almost 100, do I look it?" James huffed

"You are doing well for yourself" Loki rolled his eyes, "Thanos is not what I need to worry about right now. He is nothing but a shadowy figure in the distant future. I must first face Odin and SHIELD's judgement. Only then can I figure out the steps I must face."

"One day at a time huh? Seems like a plan"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys,
> 
> Thanks to those of you who responded the last chapter. I'm glad you like it. Just a few things; if any of you have any requests for this story, something you'd like to see or any prompts feel free to let me know and I'll see if I can incorporate them. I have several ideas of my own for this fic, some contradicting one another so if I get an idea of what you guys what I can go with that. 
> 
> The back stories I have been imagining for the characters is a mix of things from the movies and Earth-616. For example in the movie it claims Bucky is the oldest of 4 children, in Earth-616 he has 1 sister called Rebecca. As far as I can tell so far it won't make a difference to the main story. It just something I wanted in there.
> 
> Please tell me what you think
> 
> Lynax
> 
> Negodyay- Rascal (Russian)  
> Kotyenok- Kitten (Russian)


	3. The Trial of Loki Odinson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken a little longer to post but holy shit this is a long one. WARNINGS for descriptions of TORTURE and mentions of RAPE and SUICIDE.
> 
> If you want to avoid the description just stop reading when Loki starts explaining what happened to him and start reading again at the line that just says "Thanos". I don't want anyone upseting themselves

Thor blinked as the blinding light of the Bifrost made his vision turn white. Of course he was used to travelling this way, however after going so long without using the Bifrost (due to its destruction) it was a little strange.

Heimdall was there to greet the God of Thunder, making Thor smile. At least his father didn't go to hard on the Gatekeeper if he kept his position. Heimdall returned the smile and bowed his head slightly in greeting and as a sign of respect.

"Your Majesty" he stated

"Heimdall, all is well?" Thor asked, curious as to what had happened in his absence.

"Aye, the Allfather had me removed from my post from a short while, the Warriors Three and Lady Sif were briefly arrested. However, when the Allfather realised that you and Loki had saved the Nine Realms from Malekith he revoked any punishment he had given" Heimdall explained

"Good, good"

"You Majesty, Loki... his wound... I can no longer see him" Heimdall stuttered, for the first time in Thor's life he saw Heimdall hesitate, unsure of himself, blind to the truth and unable to accept what might be.

"He is well. I took him to Midgard, with their healers and his Seidr he still lives." Thor said, glad that despite everything Heimdall appeared to care for his fallen brother "I presume he is shielding himself, as he does. I am actually here to speak to Father about him. I do not believe he was in control of his own mind."

"I may have some knowledge of this" Heimdall replied, of course Thor thought to himself, the all knowing, all seeing gate keeper may know of something to help his brother.

"What do you mean?"

"Queen Frigga came to me all throughout Loki's absence, asking me to search for him. I was unsure at first, I feared as though I was giving her false hope, but she was my Queen so I did as she asked. I could never see much, but now and then I would get flashes. It looked as if he was in pain, but I couldn't be sure. I could never know if it were real or not. I told your mother, and she seemed to believe it were." Heimdall described

"I was able to see Loki the minute he stepped onto Midgard, which I thought was strange. As he has been able to shield himself from my gaze for a long time. If he wanted to take over Midgard why would he not shield himself? If we did not know he was there we could not have sent you to stop him. He would have had a higher chance of succeeding if he did"

"Would you be willing to defend Loki, if the Allfather agreed to look into his crimes again?" Thor asked

"Aye, the Queen would have wanted me to. And no matter how many times Loki and I have clashed in the past, I do not believe in injustice."

"Thank you good Heimdall" Thor smiled "I appreciate this"

Thor spun his hammer round his wrist before taking off, flying along the rainbow bridge towards the palace of Asgard. He flew low enough to allow the people of Asgard to see him, laughing to himself when children attempted to chase his figure.

He landed softly on the steps in front of the palace, startling some of the guards that stood there. Each one reaching for their weapons before realising who stood there, relaxing and muttering apologies when they did. Thor nodded in greeting before passing them and making his way towards the throne room.

When he got there he pushed open the large double doors. Odin was sat on the throne room, his two ravens where perched on either side of his throne. The old king looked tired, he wore complete black instead of his golden armour and he slouched in his seat. Thor frowned upon the sight, he understood his father's grief, of course he did, but he still had a kingdom to run. He would not achieve that from sitting in his throne all day.

"Thor, so you have finally returned" Odin stated when Thor reached the bottom of the steps that led to the throne. "Why?"

"I did not wish to disobey you father. I did what needed to be done to stop Malekith, to save Jane."

"Yet you did, you brought that mortal woman into our home because she meddled with something she could never have hoped to understand. She brought Malekith to our realm. Her actions resulted in the death of your mother and your brother-"

"Loki is not dead" Thor interrupted his father's pained speech

"What? Loki is alive? How? Heimdall saw him..." Odin trailed off, slipping out of the throne and falling to his knees on the ground, letting out a choked sob. Thor quickly moved to kneel in front of his father

"Loki fell of the Bifrost and still lived; you think a blade will stop him?" Thor pointed out "He lives, he is on Midgard now, with the Avengers, getting stronger each day. Father he still lives"

"I miss him." Odin replied quietly, "Everything went so wrong with him. I... I did not mean for him to find out about his heritage the way he did. Frigga and I were going to tell him together, when he was more mature, when he could handle it." Tears ran down Odin's face as he explained his real intentions

"I chose the wrong words, I knew not of what he intend, that day on the Bifrost. I did not think he would let go. I wanted to explain, but it was too late. And then when Heimdall told me of his return I was overjoyed, until I learnt of his actions. And then I was so angry"

"Frigga begged me to be lenient, to listen to him. But he angered me so. I imprisoned him in the hope I could speak to him later, to find out the real reason behind his attack. Whether it truly was because of myself."

"Father, it is not I who need to here this, it is Loki. He believes that you do not love him, that he has lost all those in the world who do. He needs help, he needs protecting." Thor encouraged

"What do I do Thor? He committed treason in his escape, just as you did" Odin frowned

"Heimdall claims you have forgiven those of us who were involved in the defeat of Malekith"

"Yes, everything has returned to as it was before, or at least as close as it can be" Odin sighed, looking up at the throne, where Frigga had always stood "By that logic, your brother should be brought back to Asgard in chains and thrown back into his cell. He is still a criminal"

"That is what I've come here to discuss. I, along with the warriors of Midgard, believe him to innocent, he was controlled Father, by another more powerful than he. I beg of you to reconsider his sentencing, to hold another trial, a proper one where evidence can be brought forth." Thor asked

"You have evidence of his unwillingness?"

"I have Loki's statement, bring forth Forseti and have him determine the truth in Loki's words. The Midgardians have also been gathering evidence, I am sure they will be able to find the truth."

"Very well Thor, I will listen. Bring Loki and the Midgardians to Asgard, I will retrial him." Odin nodded, allowing Thor to help him back up onto his feet. "But be warned Thor, if I find this to be more lies he will be returned to his cell and he will never be freed"

* * *

 

"Come on it's a group meal, you have to come, it's like a tower rule or something" Tony whined. Loki lifted an eyebrow at the other's childish tone, he was sat, cross legged, on top of his bed in the medical bay with a book, that Bruce had lent to him, on his lap. Tony had burst in moments before and demanded Loki join him and the rest of the Avengers for breakfast.

"You are the owner and constructor of this tower, yet you appear unsure of the rules" Loki drawled

"Well rule number one of Avengers Tower is there are no rules. But rule number two is everyone must be present when Anthony Edward Stark decides there is going to me a group meal" Loki cocked his head to the side, for a moment confused as to who the inventor was referring to "That's me by the way"

"You do realise those two rules contradict each other greatly" Loki pointed out, Tony laughed in response, sitting down on Loki's bed, Loki frowned as the movement knocked him.

"Yeah, it started off as a "no rules" place, but then people, namely Steve after I changed his home screen to a porn site, decided to introduce some "

"Should I know these rules?" Loki asked, choosing to ignore certain parts of the other's sentence he didn't quite understand.

"I'll print out a list or something but basically, come to breakfast, don't be a dick, don't kill anyone, and don't exploit a certain someone's trigger words or Steve will go into mama bear mode and kill you."

"They sound simple enough," Loki commented "But alas, I still do not wish to join you"

"Why not? You gotta eat" Tony reached over to poke Loki in the stomach, much to the God's dismay "You're all skin and bones"

"One, I am not hungry; Two, I've gone months without food before and Three, I am perfectly comfortable with the way my body looks and if I was not then I would change it through magic. One meal will not make a difference" Loki retorted

"Look, everyone has been kinda on edge since you got here, avoiding everyone isn't helping. Bruce says you haven't been missing meals since you've been awake, he says you eat more than us mortals but less than Thor, more on par with Steve or Bucky. So why aren't you coming really?"

"I do not want to cause any trouble" Loki sighed "The Hawk, I hurt him, even though it was not my intention. I brought him into something he should have been kept away from him. I do not want to make him uncomfortable."

"Clint's fine, okay at first he was mad. When you turned up here he wanted to stab you, but you'd already been stabbed so he left you alone. But now, after hearing what little involvement you had in the invasion, he's actually fighting your corner. In fact all of us are. Admittedly Sam and Bucky have no idea who you are, but everyone else is on your side."

"Really? I have done nothing to deserve your support"

"Well you and Bruce seem to have bonded a little. He loves that book," Tony gestured to the one in Loki's hands "It was weeks before he let me borrow it, so he obviously trusts you. I've only spoken with you a handful of times and I like you. And I know Clint has checked in on you a couple of time when you were unconscious. You will not make anyone uncomfortable, okay? The focus won't be on you; we usually just chat about our day or share funny anecdotes from missions. I'm sure you've got loads of embarrassing stories about Thor"

"Aye, I do." Loki smiled softly, thinking about that one time he got Thor in a dress

"Well then are you coming?"

"Will James be there?"

"James? Oh, right, Bucky. I forget that's his real name sometimes, everyone just calls him Bucky. But yeah he should be, I went to convince you to come whilst Steve went to get him. Why?"

"He seems nice"

"You've met?" Loki nodded

"We had a deep conversation about our previous roles as hired assassins."

"What a cheery bunch you two must be." Tony smiled "Come on, I'll even squeeze you in next to him if you want."

"I do not have to sit next to him, I just wanted to know whether or not he would be present" Loki said, placing a piece of paper into the book as a bookmark before putting down on the bedside table. He then stood up, triggering Tony to do the same.

"Great"

"What?"

"Natasha bet me $100 that you wouldn't come; I do love wining a bet." Tony smirked

"You could have just told me that to start off with" Loki snorted

"What? That would have made you come?" Loki nodded again

"Of course, it seems like she is getting a good idea of my character and behaviour, I cannot have that, I have a reputation to uphold"

Tony and Loki got into the elevator and went down to the main floor, once there Tony directed the God of Mischief to a dining room. The long table at the centre of the room reminded Loki of the Great Banqueting Hall of Asgard, but it was a fair bit smaller. Food was lined up in the middle of the table and each place had been left with a plate and cutlery, ready for people to pick and chose what they wanted.

Everyone else was already there; two spaces had been left between Bucky and Bruce so the two late arrivals sat there. James smiled softly in greeting at Loki, which of course Loki returned but he could tell the other man was uncomfortable with the amount of people crammed together.

They had talked for several long hours the other night. After their heavier talk to begin with they got onto lighter topics, such as favourite colour. Loki liked green, James red. They had bonded a little over their shared past and trusted each other a little more than they did anyone else. Bucky had trusted Loki with the fact he liked to sneak out, Loki had confessed he was scared of the dark. Little things that to some meant nothing but to them meant everything.

"See Nat, you owe me $100" Tony gloated as he sat next to Bruce. The red head sighed and handed him $100 in cash.

"You do realise the I could just spend $100 from your account on the card you gave me anyway?" she pointed out

"You do realise I don't care about the money, just the wining" Tony retorted "I'm a billionaire sweet heart, this is nothing"

"To everyone else at the table that is a lot of money Tony," Bruce chided

"To Loki it's not, he's a prince"

"That does not mean I am wealthy, Kingdoms are expensive to run. You have to maintain buildings, farmlands, you have to host other kingdoms, feed those who visit and those who you employ. Fund wars, pay recompense for soldiers who are permanently harmed or support families of those lost in battle" Loki pointed out

"So you're family isn't rich?" Tony asked

"Well they live in a palace made of gold, so I think so. But they do have to pay a lot to the kingdom. Then again the Crown collects taxes and such so it is a situation that gives back."

"So you are rich" Tony smiled, believing his point to be true

"Just because my family is rich does not mean I am" Loki pointed out "Until a year ago I was thought to be dead, any wealth and possessions I had would have been gifted to those named in my will. And as for Midgardian currency I have none"

"Oh my god, you're making my head hurt with all your mumbo jumbo," Tony said, running a hand across his face "so you're not rich?"

"No, Thor is though, he is a real prince"

"What do you mean now?" Tony asked, exasperated "You're not even a real prince?"

"No, adopted, remember?" Loki pointed out

"Thor said you were the son of the King of the Frost Giants, so that would make you a prince" Natasha countered from across the room

"Unfortunately not." Loki disagreed "for several reasons actually. First off I have no idea whether or not I am Laufey's legitimate son. I could be a bastard. Second, I don't know whether or not I was acknowledged as Laufey's son, bastard or not, if Laufey had claimed I was not his son I would not have been a prince and Third, I was abandoned, left to die because I was too small. So by Jotun standards I am also dead."

"You're very good at making people think you're dead aren't you?" Clint asked with a mouthful of food.

"Neither time was my intension. The first I was just a baby, the second I meant to die, no one has ever survived the void before. Now I know why"

"Wow, zero to awkward really fast. New rule no more bringing up suicide attempts during group discussions, first Brucie, now you. I need warning before hand guys." Tony stated before turning to address Loki directly "I am definitely getting you a therapist now, no killing yourself in the tower, got it? If you feel like that talk to someone"

"I have to tell you I was having a very bad week at the time. You know, found out I was adopted, thrust upon the throne, five people committed treason against me and one attempted regicide. I killed my birth father, my attempt to kill Thor failed and my father rejected me whilst I was hanging of the edge of the Bifrost. It was a spur of the moment thing."

Under the table Bucky gently took Loki's hand in his metal one, squeezing it in a sign of reassurance before letting it go. Visibly neither reacted to the contact, but Loki appreciated the gesture and understood what it meant. Bucky cared.

"So you did try and kill Thor?" Steve asked

"Admittedly looking back it was a mistake, I acted in anger and jealousy. Deep down I knew the Destroyer would not kill him. It would have hurt but not kill" Loki shrugged," it is in the past now. And to be honest it is not the worst fight we have had"

"Now that's a story I want to hear" Clint stated

"That is a story for another day. I do not wish to speak of my past anymore"

The room was quiet for a moment, the only sound being the scrape of cutlery as people ate or pulled more food onto their plate. But this was a meal in which Tony Stark was present. It couldn't stay quiet for long.

"So Nat, any interesting missions coming up?"

"None that I'm allowed to tell you about" Natasha replied smoothly "You know Fury will tell you if you're needed"

"I hope it's soon, I wanna test out my new suit." Tony smiled

"Speaking of Fury, has any one told him about Loki yet?" Sam asked

"Nope, that's Stark's job" Clint smirked

"I don't see why it has to be my job" Tony frowned

"Because it's going to piss Fury off no matter what. May as well have the news come from you because he gets pissed off every time he talks to you, you're used to it" Clint retorted "Why haven't you told him yet? Are you too scared?"

"No, I'm actually waiting until Thor gets back. No point telling Fury if the Big Ol' Eye-Patch in the sky want him back up in fairy land." Loki froze at the other's words but no one seemed to notice.

"That's smart Stark," Natasha said

"I am a genius you know"

"Amongst other things"

"Kotyenok?" James called softly, unheard by anyone but Loki "Are you okay?"

"I cannot go back in the cells, I cannot, I will not" Loki whispered

"It will be okay, you won't go back there. Thor wants to get you retried, he wants you freed."

"Odin will not listen" Loki replied, tears shining in his eyes threatening to fall

"You don't know that Kotyenok. He might" Bucky rested his hand on Loki's shoulder "If Thor is anything to you like Steve is to me, he won't let you go to prison, he's freed you once, he'll do it again"

The tears finally fell, splattering the dark wooden table with even darker splotches. Loki sniffled as it became harder and harder to breathe. Bucky once again took his hand, squeezing it harder than before. Loki looked up to meet Bucky's blue eyes with his green eyes.

"You will be okay, you are safe and I won't let you be imprisoned without a fight, okay?"

The group of Avengers suddenly all started laughing, it seemed that Tony had said or done something funny, but it just made Loki jump his eyes darting around rapidly, looking for danger. Bucky tugged on his hand slightly to get Loki to look back, Bucky himself becoming more anxious as his senses went into overdrive, looking for the threat Loki seemed to perceive.

"Loki, Kotyenok, shh. It's okay." The group laughed again and Loki jumped up, pulling his arm from Bucky's with ease and bolting from the room. Everyone fell silent at the action, starring after the God.

"What happened?" Tony asked, but everyone was equally clueless, except Bucky, who stood.

"You happened, you stupid idiot" Bucky snapped, Steve automatically grabbed his arm to pull him back, but Bucky easily pulled it away"You think just casually mentioning he might have to go back to prison is okay?"

"Bucky..." Steve began

"No!" Bucky shouted "How would you feel Steve, if you had to go back in the ice. If you" he pointed at Tony "had to go back to the Ten Rings, or if you" he pointed at Natasha "Had to go back to the Red Room. That is how he feels right now and none of you seem to care."

Bucky paused for a moment before moving away from the table.

"Bucky wait" Steve began but he ignored him

"JARVIS where is he?"

"In the medical bay" The AI responded

"Thanks" Bucky said, stalking towards the door, just before he went through it though the door he spun round "Don't follow me Steve. I've had enough right now" He then left, presumably heading straight to the medical bay.

"He's never acted like that before, he's never shouted, he's always calm and quiet." Steve said after a moment

"He's probably never been in this situation before Steve" Natasha said calmly

"Who'd have thought it? Loki and Bucky friends" Tony commented

"When did they even meet?" Steve asked, still looking a little shell shocked.

"Loki said they met the other day, he didn't explain much" Tony replied "JARVIS?"

"Two nights ago sir, they met on the stairs. Loki had a nightmare, resulting in a panic attack. He left the room in the form of a cat, he met Sergeant Barnes on the stairs, they proceeded to Barnes' room and conversed for several hours." The AI responded

"What did they talk about?" Steve asked

"It has been requested that I do not reveal the information exchanged during that conversation unless it is imperative that the knowledge be known" JARVIS replied

"Aw Jay... you like them don't you, you little mother hen" Tony praised

"They are intriguing" JARVIS replied

"Sure they are." Tony smiled

"What do we do about this, we shouldn't leave them on their own" Steve said

"That's exactly what we should do." Natasha stated "Loki's probably feeling over whelmed, without Thor he probably feels isolated and uncomfortable. Bucky knows what that's like, we all had moved past any issues we may have had _before_ we became a group. Loki and Bucky are having to go through their problems whilst being surrounded by strangers. We need to give them space"

* * *

 

Bucky knocked on the door to the medical bay before pushing his way in. He wasn't exactly surprised to see Loki curled up in a ball in the form of a little black cat, he'd sort of expected it. He understood that Loki wasn't in the mood to talk, neither was he after he had a panic attack, but maybe he'd want some comfort.

He walked up to the bed, making Loki look up and hiss, however when he realised who it was he stopped hissing and flicked his ears forwards in greeting. He lay forwards, resting his head on his forepaws, huffing slightly. Bucky sat down next to him and ran his right hand over his head.

"Do you want me to go Kotyenok?" he asked softly, Loki pushed himself to his paws and slowly clambered onto James' lap and butted his head against his hand, asking to be stroked. James laughed slightly but obliged.

"See, if all else fails, just turn into a cat and I'll find you. No one would know it was you. They can't arrest a cat." Loki purred in response and rolled on to his back, exposing the soft fur of his underbelly, revealing a little white spot of fur on his chin. "It's easy to go into hiding, especially when you can shape shift. No one would ever be able to find you if you didn't want them to."

Bucky continued to stroke Loki's belly as the cat batted playfully at his hands, nipping playfully at the fingers that got to close, no matter if they were metal or flesh.

"I told them off." Bucky laughed "I shouted at them, I told them to stay away. They won't do it again; they never meant to do it in the first place. Tony speaks without thinking sometimes, but he never means to hurt. He means well."

Loki meowed, Bucky took it as in agreement but he wasn't 100% sure.

"He's still on your side; he doesn't want to send you back to Asgard. No one does" Bucky sighed

They stayed like that for hours, playing softly and Bucky talking until they became tired. Bucky eventually lay down on the bed and Loki cuddled up next to him, purring lightly every time James' metal fingers brushed against his fluffy ears. They fell asleep soon after, resting peacefully until lighting flashed across the sky and thunder rumbled close by, making Loki jump and Bucky to wake with a start.

"Loki it's okay, it's just a storm" Loki hissed in response, his ears flat against his head and his fur fluffed up, tail lashing.

"Sirs, Mr Odinson is in the main floor's living area, he requests both of your presence" JARVIS announced from the ceiling making Bucky look up.

"Right, your brother's the God of Thunder. Come on then, we can't keep him waiting" Bucky reached over to pet Loki's ears in encouragement but was instead met with needle sharp claws raking down his arm. He pulled back on instinct, bringing his arm close to his body, hissing in pain.

In a flash of green light the cat next to him disappeared and was replaced by a certain Norse God. The mattress dipped under his weight making Bucky look up, he automatically saw guilt written over Loki's face as the God reached towards him.

"James, I am so sorry" he cried

"Its fine, 's just a scratch" Bucky replied rubbing his hand across the angry red lines, wiping away some blood in the process.

"I am sorry, I should not have lashed out, you made me jump. Thor used to pick me up by the scruff of my neck in that form when he wanted me to go somewhere. I thought you might try and do the same"

"Loki, I would never do that, nor would I make you do something you didn't want to do." Bucky said softly

"I know, I do, and that is why I am sorry. I know you wouldn't hurt me. And all the times you've picked me up you have not grabbed my scruff. I should not have scratched you." Loki explained looking down at his hands.

"Its fine, I've been through worse you know." Bucky laughed gently

"Let me look at it" Loki said, taking James' hand and looking at the scratches. Carefully he ran his own hand over the marks; Bucky felt a strange but warm tingling spread across his arm, letting out a surprised hum when he looked down to see the marks gone.

"I bet that comes in handy"

"With Thor, you have no idea." Loki half-smiled

"Speaking of Thor we should go" Bucky gestured to the door with a nod of his head.

"What if he wants to take me back?"

"I'll go with you" Bucky shrugged, "Look I didn't see much of him when you first arrived but when I did he seemed devastated that you were hurt protecting him. He wouldn't let anyone hurt you"

Loki sighed but made no effort to move, Bucky snorted softly at the other's indifference. He stood up from the bed and held out his metal hand; Loki looked up at the movement.

"The quicker we see what he wants the quicker you'll be able to move on and stop worrying about what Odin is going to say." Loki sighed again before reaching out and taking Bucky's hand, allowing the man to pull him up and out of the room.

Their way up to the living room was pretty much silent; Bucky continued to squeeze Loki's hand reassuringly, trying to soothe the God's nervous bouncing. When they got there everyone was already assembled. Steve smiled at Bucky in an attempt to resolve any tensions from earlier, Bucky returned the smile, not wanting to fight.

"Brother!" Thor exclaimed as soon as he saw Loki. Loki quickly dropped Bucky's hand before Thor noticed and was immediately swept up in a bone crushing hug "It is good to see you standing again, and looking your normal pale instead of devoid of any blood"

"It is good to see you too Thor" Loki replied meekly

"Now are you gonna tell us what your old man said Big Guy?" Tony asked

"Aye, Father has agreed to retry you Loki. He wishes for you to be innocent." Thor smiled

"I doubt that" Loki muttered, whether Thor didn't hear him or chose to ignore him Loki did not know, however Thor continued to speak undeterred.

"He has requested all of your presence in Asgard. He wants you to give information at his trial, to defend or condemn him how you see fit. He will assemble a group of your peers Loki, including Forseti" Loki groaned at the name of the God of Truth "they will listen to all you have to say Brother and decide your fate"

"Brilliant" Loki scowled "Let a group of people who have always hated me decide on whether I am innocent or to be thrown back in the cells"

"Brother, you know Forseti cannot lie, the others will be under oath. You will be judged fairly." Thor argued

"When do we leave?" Loki snapped

"As soon as possible" Thor replied

"Well its late right now, why don't we all sleep on it and go tomorrow" Steve suggested

* * *

 

Odin walked through his late wife's gardens. He hadn't come here since Frigga had died; he had no need to now he no longer had to search for his free spirited wife. He did not know who tended to it now, but it must have been as the flowers were blooming bright and colourful. Then again the fact that his wife stood several feet ahead of him suggested that all of what he was seeing was not real.

"Frigga?" the old king gasped at the sight of his wife, she stood in front of his, as regal and beautiful as the day they were married.

"Husband" Frigga nodded "I am proud of you"

"You are?"Odin asked, taking a step forwards

"You are willing to try again with our son. To listen to him, to retry him for the crimes he is accused of"

"You always believed him to be innocent, haven't you?"

"You know I have. For all the crimes he is accused he is only guilty of one" Frigga replied

"Really, he has been accused of many" Odin replied. Confused

"You must consider, my Darling, who has accused him? Who is in the wrong? Who has he betrayed? Many of the crimes he is supposed to have committed may not be considered crimes in certain lights. You must be careful as to how you look at this." Frigga explained

"What do you want me to do?" Odin asked

"Listen to him, be the father that he needs. Listen to those around him who speak the truth and be the wise king I always knew you were. You have the knowledge from Mimir's well, use it. Figure out who is to blame and be fair."

"Very well my Queen" Odin nodded, "I will do all you ask."

"I love you my husband, I know you will do what is right"

"And I love you. Will I see you again?" Odin asked, taking another step towards his wife, wanting desperately to touch her but scared that if he did it would shatter whatever illusion kept her in place.

"You know we will be together in Valhalla"

"I do, but I miss you"

"And I you my love, we will be together soon."

* * *

 

The Avengers along with Loki and Bucky stood on the roof of the Avengers Tower, getting ready to go to Asgard. Tony could barely contain his excitement but everyone else appeared calm. Loki kept close to Bucky, unwilling to be separated from his new found friend.

"Now the Bifrost may make you feel nauseated or uncertain on your feet, but it will pass. I advise you to keep your eyes closed whilst travelling, it will reduce these symptoms." Thor explained

"Is it as bad as he makes it sound?" whispered Bucky to Loki

"He does tend to go on" Loki rolled his eyes "Of course you could always hold my hand if you get scared" he teased

"Hey, I'm man enough to admit when I'm afraid" Bucky laughed

"Heimdall, open the Bifrost" Thor called up into the sky, and within seconds the group was surrounded by the bright flashing lights of the rainbow, forcing them to close their eyes. For a moment the ground disappeared from beneath them before returning as something new.

"Greeting Prince Thor, Prince Loki and the Warriors of Midgard" Heimdall nodded in greeting. Loki looked up to see Heimdall, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three smiling alongside some horses, glad to see Thor again. Thor rushed forwards to embrace his friends whilst Loki and the Avengers stood awkwardly to the side.

"My friends it is good to see you," Thor boomed as he squeezed the life out of an annoyed Hogun.

"It's good to see you too Thor" Volstagg laughed

Thor introduced everyone in his loud overbearing tone, whilst Sif was immediately drawn to Natasha, excited to see another shield maiden whilst the others brought forth the horses. Loki looked away from the group, his eyes drawn to the whirling hole of the void that swirled beneath them.

"Loki" Fandral called making the God of Mischief look up "Someone's missed you" Fandral pulled a giant dapple grey stallion with a black mane and tail forward that fidgeted excitedly, all eight hooves clattering noisily on the hard floor of the Bifrost.

"Sleipnir?" Loki walked towards the giant horse; Sleipnir lunged towards Loki whinnying in happiness. Loki rubbed his hand on the steed's nose

"I thought you said Sleipnir didn't exist" Tony asked Thor

"Nay, I said Loki was not his mother." Thor laughed

"I found him when he was a foal and hand raised him. By his standards I am his mother" Loki murmured as the horse nuzzled into his chest. "Why is he here?"

"For you to ride him back to the palace" Fandral replied

"But he's Odin's horse?"

"Well he said you could ride him, you could always ride Mara is you'd prefer" Sif replied gesturing to his bay mare that Bucky had been given to ride.

"No, I'll ride Sleip' Loki said smiling at the horse.

The Asgardians helped the Midgardians onto the horses. Natasha, Bucky and Clint mounted their horses with ease; however others (Tony) struggled a little. Then they got on themselves, Sleipnir pulled ahead of the others as they began walking across the Bifrost, contradicting Loki's reluctant attitude with an eager pace.

However, Thor's snow white Stallion, not to be out done broke out into a canter. Loki held Sleipnir back but the Warrior's Three and Lady Sif urged their own horses on, racing their prince, leaving Loki with the Avengers.

"They do realise we have no idea where we're going, right?" Tony asked

"It's a straight bridge across some water, it's kind of difficult to get lost" Steve replied

"Also Loki is right there, I presume he knows where he's going" Natasha pointed out

"Unfortunately" Loki retorted,

"Hey I'm sorry about earlier, if I upset you" Tony said softly to Loki

"It is fine, I over reacted" Loki shrugged

"Oh okay" Tony mumbled

"Wow, I never thought I'd live to see the day Tony Stark apologised" Clint laughed

"Hey! I'm not a complete arsehole" Tony scowled

"Yeah, yeah" Clint dismissed and Sam sniggered

The group walked along the Bifrost, their horses not needing any encouragement or direction, knowing where they were going. It wasn't until they reached the actual streets of Asgard that Loki needed to lead the group. He kept an eye out for his brother and his friends but it appeared that they had forgotten about the group.

They weaved throughout the town, gathering more attention as they went. At first it appeared that the people were amazed at the Midgardian warriors but as the crowd gathered their voices could clearly be heard and it wasn't the Avengers they were talking about.

"Is that Prince Loki?" one asked

"It can't be, he died" another replied

"Fell of the Bifrost, years ago"

"I heard he jumped off, killed himself"

"No way would Prince Loki kill himself" a voice called

"Well it looks like him." Someone snapped "Who else would it be"

Loki frowned at the attention, instead of stopping to confirm that it was him he urged Sleipnir on into a trot. The other horses copied Sleipnir's pace, luckily all of the Avengers remained seated at the horses' gaits became uneven and bouncy.

The group quickly reached the stables of the palace and Loki dismounted as soon as Sleipnir came to a stop. Thor and the others were already their waiting for them, laughing and joking.

"You took your time Brother" Thor laughed

"How fast did you expect me to go with a group of people who have never ridden a horse before and did not know where they were going" Loki snapped

"You are in a bad mood aren't you Loki" Sif laughed but Loki turned to Sleipnir, ignoring her.

"Be good Sleip" Loki pet the horses nose and the stallion nickered in response.

"Come on we should get going, the Allfather has the court set up waiting for us." Volstagg said.

Everyone began to dismount and hand their reigns over to the waiting stable hands and moved to go inside. Loki sighed reluctantly before turning to follow. They walked through the halls of the palace, the Midgardians making exclamations at the decor and the structure of the building. Loki just walked blindly ahead, acutely aware that Thor had fallen into step alongside him. He said nothing to his brother, not knowing what to say even if he wanted to.

It was obvious their relationship was strained, a short while ago Thor had come to is cell claiming he no longer believed that Loki was his brother and that he would kill him if he needed to. Now after Loki had saved his precious mortals life by risking his own Thor was suddenly treating him like a brother and fighting his corner. Loki was confused.

The group came to a stop outside some large double doors which Loki knew led to the throne room. Everyone stood awkwardly for a second, the Midgardians completely blind to how an Asgardian trial went and the Asgardians waiting for Thor's command.

"All of you must go in and decide who is to give evidence when called upon. Loki and I must wait until we are called in." Thor explained and the others nodded, Sif began to lead the Avengers in but before they were all through Bucky turned round and pulled Loki into a hug.

"It's going to be okay" he whispered "And remember; if it doesn't you can always be my Kotyenok" Loki nodded and whispered a thank you before Bucky turned to leave, shoving Steve playfully when the other opened his mouth to tease him over the displayed affection.

The double doors closed behind the group and the two brothers were left standing in silence. Loki but his hands behind his back, in an attempt to get him to stop fiddling with the buckles that covered his armour- worn by a request from Thor.

"Please Brother, do not make this difficult" Thor said softly

"How am I supposed to make it difficult? I am already being charged for many crimes such as genocide and terrorism, I do not think it could get much more difficult" Loki retorted

"I mean, do not deny that Odin is your father"

"But he's not, I am a-"

"Frost Giant, I know, but the people do not" Thor interrupted

"What?"

"You were never denounced as Odin's son. The only people who know your true heritage are you, Father, Heimdall, I and the Avengers. The people do not know anything"

"Why?"

"Mother wanted you remembered in a positive light. My banishment and your rule and attempt to destroy Jotunheim were hidden from the people; Odin claimed that the Bifrost collapsed due to insecure structures and that you were on the Bifrost at the time. Your death was described as a horrific disaster; few knew what really happened that day. Those that do believed you to be mentally ill"

"Why?" Loki repeated

"Mother again, she claimed that you had caught the Mage's Madness, that your own power had driven you mad, that you were ill. No one really blames you for that, many a good mage has fallen to madness if you think about it Lorelei, Amora and Mimir. Many are amazed you are back, that you saved us from Malekith" Thor explained

"Odin would not wish me to carry his name"

"Odin would have denounced you a long time ago if he didn't. You are his son; he loves you and wants the best for you."

"I doubt that" Loki scoffed

"Loki," Thor turned to face his brother properly "When I came here to ask for your retrial father was full of grief for his wife and son. He thought you dead Loki, as did Heimdall, and when I told him otherwise he wept. Brother he fell to the floor and wept." Loki blinked, unsure of how to process this information "He wants to forgive you; he wants us to be a family again. As do I"

"I... I"

"For one it is I who have made you speechless" Thor laughed at Loki's stammering "Brother, one day when I am king I want you to be my advisor, I want you by my side" he said, reaching behind and grabbing the back of Loki's neck, pulling his forwards in and old and familiar gesture

"You need me by your side you incompetent fool" Loki murmured

"Aye"

"You'd piss of Frey again and start another war with the Vanir"

"It is he, not I who started the last one" Thor chuckled

Suddenly the doors once again opened and Thor and Loki were called forwards. Thor let go of Loki, patting him on the pack before the pair walked forwards. There were not many people there, besides the Mortals and Thor's friends. Odin of course sat on his throne whilst his brothers, Vili and Ve stood behind.

Loki's "peers" much to his distain consisted of; Tyr, the God of War and Patron of Justice, Forseti, God of Truth, Justice and Peace, Vali, the God of Revenge, Vor, the Goddess of Wisdom, Hlin, the Goddess of Protection, Snotra, the Goddess of Prudence and of course, Thor and Loki's annoying cousin Balder the God of Innocence and Beauty.

Loki rolled his eyes at the sight of them; if their feelings on him were going to play into his sentencing Loki was screwed. He guessed it was a small mercy that Freyja was not present otherwise he would be for the block for sure.

"Loki Odinson" Odin bellowed as they came to a stop in front of the throne, Loki winced at the name but a look from Thor silenced his tongue. "You stand here accused of invading Midgard under the intent to rule, how do you plead?" Loki took a deep breath

"Not guilty"

There were murmurs amongst the crowd; all knowing that Loki had previously been imprisoned for these crimes, not knowing why another trial was being held.

"How" Vali growled "How can you now not be guilty of a crime you previously admitted to"

"I admitted to no such thing, I was never given a formal trial" Loki snapped, Thor pulled on Loki's sleeve preventing him from stepping forwards and reminding him to once again hold his tongue.

"Vali, you will be allowed to question later" Odin stated simply "What evidence is there of your innocence?" Odin asked

"Alongside Loki's statement, the Warriors of Midgard have evidence to support the idea that Loki's actions were not his own." Thor spoke up.

"Midgardians? Present evidence in court?" Snotra scowled "Odin this is highly irregular

"Who cares if the truth can be revealed by these mortals then let them speak" Forseti silenced the Goddess

"Can the spokes person of the Mortals please present your evidence?" Odin asked, all were keen to hear what the Midgardians had to say and Odin wanted to leave Loki's words until last. He hoped that whatever information these Midgardians had would open the minds of the other Gods and Goddesses.

To Loki's surprise it was Steve who stepped forwards, he had been expecting Stark as it were he who had found the majority of evidence or Bruce as he'd discovered his scars and photographed them in preparation for the trial.

"Well, erm, there are several things that we have noticed that point to Loki having been controlled by another." Steve started "First off there is a contradiction in Loki's eye colour during and after the invasion. During the invasion Loki's eyes were blue, the same blue of the sceptre and of anyone who's mind had been manipulated by it."

The group of Gods once again began muttering amongst themselves; Loki was famed for his green eyes as most Aesir had blue or in some cases brown eyes. Very few had green and none had eyes as bright as Loki's.

"But then, when we met Loki again a few weeks ago we noticed his eyes were a bright green. We understand than this is his natural eye colour which leads us to believe the blue of his eyes was a sign of him being under the influence of the Chitauri sceptre or those who originally owned it" Steve finished

"All very well and good" Tyr began "But Loki is a shape shifter. He has turned into a horse before it would take little effort for him to change something as trivial as eye colour."

"But why would he?" Balder asked "There would be no reason for Loki to go to a realm where he is not known by face and to only change his eye colour, I see where you are coming from Tyr but it would make no sense"

"What else do you have Mortal" Odin asked

"Well my companion here" Steve gesture to Bruce "Dr Banner, treated Loki for the wound he suffered before arriving on Earth, I mean Midgard. He noticed several scars on Loki's back consistent with the torture Loki had indicated in the past. His flinching upon being touched and his distressed reactions when placed in loud or overcrowded environments also support this. Furthermore upon arriving on Midgard, before the invasion, Loki was weak and exhausted, falling down and limping once again hinting at torture"

"I refer you back to my previous point, Loki is a shape shifter and illusionist, he could easily manipulate some mortals" Tyr scoffed

"I too saw my brother's scars" Thor snapped at the God of War "The Midgardians took images of these marks that I can show you if you wish Tyr"

"Is there anything else?" Odin asked, Steve looked back to the Avengers, Sam just shrugged and Natasha nodded.

"No, that's all we have" Steve said

"Very well, Asgard thanks you" Odin dismissed and Steve stepped back into the group. "Next we will hear what Heimdall has to say about this" Heimdall then entered the room and stood next to Thor and Loki.

"My King" Heimdall bowed

"What do you have to say Heimdall?"

"Throughout the time Loki was believed to be dead I saw glimpses of him, I was looking for him at Queen Frigga's request" Loki looked at Heimdall at the revelation that his mother looked for him "From those glimpses I can say that I whole heartedly belief these allegations of torture and the idea that Loki was not in control of his actions to be true." The Gatekeeper stated

"Furthermore whilst watching Loki's actions on Midgard I can say his behaviour was abnormal, he was jumpy, agitated as well as being in poor health. The fact that I could see Loki at all was strange as he often shields himself from my view. It was only after an interaction with the one known as the Hulk that Loki seemed to be more focused and back to his normal self."

"That coincides with the evidence we suggested" Tony interrupted "His eyes went green after this "interaction"" Tony used air quotes to emphasise his point, Natasha elbowed Tony in the ribs to get him shut up, he scowled in response.

"Aye, the evidence the Midgardians have gathered I believe is accurate" Heimdall replied

"Very well, thank you Heimdall" Odin exclaimed the Gatekeeper smiled before leaving the room presumably going back to his post. None of the other Gods spoke up against Heimdall, all respecting his opinion and not daring to accuse him of being untruthful.

"Thor, what say you?" Odin asked his eldest

"The person I fought on Midgard was not my brother, he was cold and arrogant with the belief he was better than everyone else, a lot like I used to be. He was impulsive and ambitious. My brother is sweet and kind, he is cautious, smart and cunning, he thinks about what he says before he says it, he plans and plans and then carries the plan out to perfection." Thor explained

"If Loki were ever to try and take over Midgard there would be no chance he would fail. He would be the king before the rest of us realised he was alive." Thor continued "Plus Loki once said to me he had no desire to be king, only to be my equal. Invading Midgard would not fit with this ideology"

"People change Thor" Vor pointed out

"Not to that extent" Thor countered

"Enough of this" Tyr snapped "I want to hear Loki, what does he have to say? The way we really find out what happened is get Loki to talk and for Forseti to determine whether his words are true"

"Very well. Loki tell us" Odin said

"From the moment you fell Loki, leave nothing out" Forseti advised

Loki cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly dry as he tried to speak. He took another deep breath; Thor put his hand on Loki's shoulder as a sign of moral support.

"I fell..." he started "I fell for so long, it was dark and it was cold. I could not feel anything. I do not know how long I fell but someone pulled me out. He kept me in a cell at first, he looked through my mind, he infiltrated my memories and he used them against me. He said that Thor pushed me, that no one cared, that you were all glad I was gone"

Loki paused for a moment, taking yet another breath.

"At first he treated me kindly enough, he put me with his other children, Hideo, Gamora and Nebula, he would make us train, fight against each other. But when we lost we were punished. With them he would replace part of them with robotic parts, making improvements, but with me he would test my healing ability. He would cut me, burn me, drown me, bringing me to the brink of death and watching as my Seidr healed me"

"Aside from training with the others he would teach me things, about the infinity stones. He had one, the mind stone, he taught me all about them, he taught me how to hold them, how to use them. He taught me about the infinity gauntlet and how to use that."

"I had been with him a few months at least before he started hiring me out. At first he would send me out with Hideo but after I while I went out on my own. We were hired to steal things, kill people who opposed or betrayed him. He told us to call him father and we the four of us were soon dubbed his children. We became notorious as hired criminals and we did anything for our "father". After a while he then began to send us out to look for the infinity stones, but he had a special job for me."

"He discovered that the infinity gauntlet was in Asgard's weapon vault, he wanted me to get it" Tears began to run down Loki's face; he looked down on the floor, unable to look at the people judging him. "I refused and that's when he turned on me"

"He tried to use the mind stone to take over my mind, but he could not, something to do with my free will being too strong, that's when he ordered his minions to break me. The punishment got harder, he ordered my so called siblings to attack me, Hideo would electrocute me." Loki sniffed, his tears falling to the ground, Thor's hand on his shoulder squeezed him tighter

"I was beaten, whipped, r...raped. I was placed in a cell that they heated up; they would pour boiling water over me and strike me with poles of heated iron. I was not given food or water. They peeled the skin away from my back and took great pleasure in breaking my bones."

"I do not know how long I was with them, the days began blurring together. But eventually he got tired of asking me to break into the vault, he said he would make one of the others do it, instead he told he wanted me to take over Midgard, he used the sceptre on me again. He broke me" Loki sobbed

Around him everyone was silent, the Gods meant to judge to him knew that Loki's lies never got so dark; they didn't know how to process the new information. The Avengers too were silent, each one silently reliving their own torture. Loki looked up; his eyes met Bucky's across the room.

"You are safe" the soldier mouthed to the god, Loki nodded at him before continuing

"He gave me the sceptre with the mind stone inside and sent me to Midgard to retrieve the Tesseract. I took over the minds of some of the Midgardians and stole the Tesseract, I was told to rule the people of Earth and I followed the orders. I could not resist, they threatened me all throughout the invasion, keeping me in place. It was not until the Hulk attacked me that I regained control of my mind"

Loki finished, he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and he looked up at the others around him. Odin had unshed tears in eyes and all of the others looked shell shocked. Everyone remained silent for several long moments before Tyr spoke.

"Why did you not say this before?"

"Have you ever believed me before? I had no evidence to support my claim" Loki replied quietly

"Loki, who was the one who pulled you out of the void?" Vor asked

"Thanos" Loki replied simply

"Impossible" Tyr scoffed

"Forseti?"Hlin asked, the God of Truth hesitated a moment.

"It is true," the God sniffed "all of it"

A sigh spread across the room whether it was in relief that Loki had been believed or in dread that something so horrific could happen to one of their own and for the mythical creature Thanos truly existing Loki didn't know. Beside him Thor pulled Loki into a hug.

"I'm sorry, I am so so sorry brother" Thor whispered as he hugged him.

"Loki Odinson" Odin said softly, making Loki pull away from his brother "You have been found not guilty on the charges of invading Midgard with the intent to rule"

Loki let out a breath of relief, glad that even though he had to relive his horrific ordeal he had been believed, Thor clapped him on the back in a congratulatory gesture.

"What of his other crimes?" Vali asked

"What other crimes?" Thor asked

"Letting the Jotun's into Asgard, attempting to kill you, killing Laufey, declaring war on Jotunheim, attempting to destroy it, attempting to kill Heimdall, outlawing the use of the Bifrost, being responsible the breaking of the Bifrost. He needs to be punished for these crimes too." Vali listed aggressively

Loki's stomach dropped and his dissipated fear began to rebuild, panic bubbled in his chest and he subconsciously took a step back.

"I consider none of those crimes" Odin stated

"What?" Ve exclaimed

"By my late wife's orders when I fell into the Odinsleep and Thor was in exile Loki was made the legal king regent. All crimes you claim he has committed happened under his time as king, therefore he was well within his rights to do the things he did" Odin explained, silencing the God "The only crime Loki is guilty of is letting the Jotuns into the weapons vault on the day of Thor's coronation. Therefore as of tomorrow morning you are banished from Asgard until you are deemed worthy, just as Thor was"

"Where will I be banished to?" Loki asked

"Midgard" Odin replied "Again just as Thor was"

Loki nodded to himself, unsure of how to feel, he hadn't expected to get off completely scot free, especially for his crimes before his fall. He had done all those things Vali had listed and if Odin had wanted to he could have locked Loki away for a long time. Maybe Thor had been right for once, maybe Odin did care.

"Satisfied?" the king asked the assembled Gods, they all nodded silently, either agreeing with the Allfather's judgement or not willing to go against their king. Odin the dismissed them all after deciding the issue of Thanos could wait a day or two, the Gods left the room but the Avengers and the four Asgardians walked towards the brothers. Immediately Bucky pulled Loki into a hug to rival Thor's.

"I told you it would okay" he said "You get to come back"

"I guess you'll have to go without a cat for now" Loki teased softly

"I don't know how I'll cope" Bucky laughed

"You'll manage" Loki replied pulling away from Bucky's embrace.

"When you get back I'll move you into a proper room" Tony said "You can decorate it how you want" Loki smiled at the inventor "I guess the medical bay isn't that comfortable"

"It is a bit white" Loki replied

"Loki!" Odin called as he walked down the steps from the throne, Loki automatically looked up "I would like to talk to you, walk with me?" part of Loki wanted to run, be anywhere but with Odin but he knew Thor wanted him to resolve his issues with their father, he knew his mother would want them to talk.

Loki walked away from the Avengers and towards the king, following him to his chambers. He didn't know what Odin wanted to talk to him about; their last conversation hadn't ended well. Both of them shouting at each other before Loki being dragged away.

"My son," Odin began

"I'm not your son" Loki said quickly, almost instinctually

"Am I not? Maybe not biologically Loki but I raised you, I clothed you, I bathed you, I told you bed time stories and I let you sleep in mine and your mother's bed when you had a nightmare or Thor's snoring kept you awake." Odin sighed, sitting down in an armchair gesturing for Loki to sit opposite. Loki hesitated, only because it was his mother's seat Odin wanted him to sit in, he did.

"I know things went wrong with us, I thought that you preferred to stay back when I was teaching Thor to fight, you were always so interested in Seidr so when your mother started teaching you I took a step back. I never knew how you felt. We both spent a long time thinking we knew what the other thought when really we had no idea," Odin explained

"I only ever wanted to make you proud, you always seemed proud of Thor, no matter what he did, so I tried to be like him. But it didn't work" Loki said quietly

"Loki," Odin said, reaching forwards and taking Loki's hands in his own "I have always been proud of you. Your magic is incredible; I've never seen anyone with so much control over Seidr. Your compassion and kindness has always impressed me and you are so talented with daggers and throwing knives. I see so much of your mother in you Loki, how could I not be proud?"

"I... I thought you wanted me to be big and brave, like you" Loki said, his voice breaking "I'm too skinny, too pale, my hair is too dark, and my eyes are the wrong colour"

"You are beautiful Loki, you are unique." Odin replied "When I found you, you were so little, your skin was such a vibrant blue and you eyes were blood red. I didn't know what to do with you right away; I didn't think to take you home straight away."

"What made you change your mind?"

"You did, I picked you up and straight away you shifted, you changed from a little Jotun baby into an Aesir one, right in front me. You chose your pale skin and bright green eyes, your hair grew later but you chose it all. You were trying to impress me even then. But that is what made me take you home, your will to survive. I made sure your illusion wouldn't drop and I brought you home and you were perfect"

"Really?" Loki asked

"Mhm, you were a quiet baby, Thor was loud and always crying but you only cried when something was wrong. You'd sleep through the night and you were quick to learn. You schooling was a lot easier as you loved to learn, you learnt to read before you could walk comfortably" Odin laughed softly "I have always been proud of you"

"I never should have told you those stories of the Frost Giants when you were little" Odin sighed "Thor always wanted to hear them, so I told them. I didn't think about you being one, sometimes it was so easy to forget you weren't my son. When you found out what you were it broke my heart. I never wanted you to find out on your own. And then when you let go, Loki it almost killed me"

"You really mourned?" Loki asked

"Of course I did" Odin snapped "the whole kingdom did. You were my little boy; don't ever doubt that I love you. No matter what you do I could never stop loving you. You are my son, whether you believe it or not. You are Loki Odinson and you always will be, even if you tell people you're not, you can't just erase the last thousand years and pretend they didn't happen because they did."

"I'm sorry," Loki said looking down, not wanting to make his father angry. Odin sighed before letting go of Loki's hands and standing up. Loki remained seated but watched as Odin walked towards what used to be his mother's side of the bed. He returned a moment later with and oak box.

"What is that?" he asked as Odin sat back down

"It was your mother's, she wanted you to have it" Odin replied, handing his son the box. Loki opened it and let out a gasp. Inside the box was his mother's daggers, two of the most beautiful blades in existence, they were decorated with small blue sapphires and diamonds and were made of a strong silvery metal. His mother never used these blades to fight with, she had others for that, but these were the ones she wore for decoration. Loki had always wanted them and had the blacksmith make him similar ones.

Loki ran his fingers over the blades, careful not to cut himself. He then noticed something else in the box, a silver pendant. Pulling it out of the box he noticed that it was decorated with ruins.

"At first I thought she wanted the pendent to go to Thor," Odin said "It's a healing ruin, and you know how much he hurts himself. But she told me that not only is it a healing rune it rejuvenates your magic too. She used to wear it all the time" he smiled fondly

"I remember" Loki smiled too, "Thank you for giving them to me"

"She'd haunt me forever if I didn't" Loki looked up

"She's come to you too?" Loki asked

"Yes, she told me to speak with you, to make things right" Odin smiled "She was proud of you too you know"

"I know" Loki replied softly, "I miss her, and it's my fault she's dead"

"How on Asgard is it your fault?" Odin asked sternly

"I told Algrim to go left, I did not she was there" Loki whimpered "And now she's dead"

"Look at me" Odin said sharply "It was not your fault, Algrim was draw to the power of the Aether, he would have found your mother no matter what you said. You could blame me for leaving her alone, you could blame Thor for not getting to her sooner, you could blame Jane for bringing the Aether here, you could blame Eir for not being able to save her but at the end of the day Malekith is responsible for your mother's death. Not you"

Odin stood again, taking the box out of Loki's hands and putting it on the table before pulling Loki to his feet and hugging his tightly. Loki returned the hug, he didn't realise how much he'd missed his father.

"Never blame yourself Loki"

"I love you Father" Loki whispered

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All Gods mentioned are real gods, I know Balder is Thor's brother in mythology but he's not in the MCU so I made him his cousin.
> 
> Also if you didn't read "Brave like you" in the voice of baby Simba go back and read it again.
> 
> Good, I hope you liked this chapter, I worked really hard on it. Please tell me what you think in the comments. Also if you like Winterfrost please check out my latest video ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5g3zcw4zPg ) it really means a lot  
> Thank you 
> 
> Lyna


	4. A Turn for the Worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, I'm glad those of you who commented liked the last chapter, I hope you like this one too.
> 
> Lyna

Odin and Loki spoke for a long time; Odin desperately wanted Loki to understand how he felt, Thor's words echoing in his ears. The fact that Loki believed himself to be unloved broke Odin inside, he had never wanted Loki to feel that way. He had always tried to make Loki feel accepted, but he'd done a terrible job.

Loki told his father what he could remember about Thanos, what he looked like, what he wanted to do. Loki told him of the dream, and Odin was shocked to hear that the Mad Titan could still get inside Loki's head.

"Was it only the one dream?" Odin asked, Loki nodded

"It's only been a couple of days since, but it was before I had my mental shields up. No one has been able to get through them before. Thanos had to exhaust me so I could not physically put up the barriers before he could get into my head the first time"

"Good, if he gets to you again tell Thor to tell me. I'll come to Midgard to help you if I need to"

"You? Come to Midgard? You have not gone there since before I was born" Loki pointed out

"Aye but if you need my help, I'll go" Odin smiled, Loki returned the smile, "Come now, there is to be a feast for our guests, we both must get ready."

"Get ready?" Loki asked, cocking his head to the side

"Aye put your best armour on boy. The mortals are being given proper garb and your brother will be changing. It should still be in your room where you left it" Odin explained getting up out of his chair.

"You kept my room?"

"Of course we did Loki, how could we just get rid of all of your belongings?" Odin shook his head "When we found your will, stating you wanted most of it to go to your mother. She and the others mentioned decided to leave it all where it was" Loki was moved at his father's words, he had expected all of his belongings to be gone, lost forever

"Really?"

"Well I think Sigyn stole some of your notebooks, but you know that girl. Next to you she was the biggest trouble maker there is"

"How fairs she?" Loki asked

"She is well, I believe she married two years ago" Odin replied

"To Theoric?"

"Aye, how did you know?"

"She was always fawning over him. The one man besides myself she gave the time of day to" Loki laughed

"She may be at the feast tonight, she has been invited."Odin said

"Well I best be off" Loki smiled standing

"I will see you later my son" Odin dismissed

Loki left his father's quarters and easily navigated way to his own. There were a few guards and servants that he passed, but none spoke to him, few even looked up. When he got to his chambers he pushed open the door without hesitation.

Everything was just as the day he'd left it. Loki had always been neat; everything had a place, so his rooms were in perfect order. Bookshelves lined the walls and there was a dark coloured desk that had organised piles of notebooks and sheets of papers covered in doodles and notes.

His room had been kept clean in his absence, presumably by his mother's request. There was no dust or litter in sight and the room smelt fresh, as if the windows had been left open or flowers had been left in there.

Loki moved through the living area of his quarters and went into his bedroom. He was surprised to see a middle aged woman already in there. She wore the ankle length brown dress and white apron of a servant and her long brown hair was up in a bun. Upon hearing Loki enter she turned, her soft, warm brown eyes meeting Loki's green ones.

"Dagmar!" Loki exclaimed; the woman had been Loki's handmaid for several years; she was the one responsible for bringing Loki food when he spent too long reading or practicing magic. She would lay out his clothes for him and wake him up in the morning when he had engagements.

"My prince" she smiled "It is good to see you again" Loki pulled her into a hug, not caring if it was unorthodox, he'd never cared before

"It is good to see you too, how have you been? How are you children?" Loki asked

"We are all well, thank you my Prince." She nodded

"What are you doing here?"

"Just laying out you armour, my Prince, as instructed by the Allfather" Dagmar smiled again "I will leave you now so you may dress."

"Farwell" Loki returned her smile as she left. Loki watched her go for a moment before entering the bathroom. The God of Mischief found a basin of fresh warm water, courtesy of Dagmar. He splashed the water across his face, refreshing himself. He sighed as he dried his face with a towel before returning to the bedroom.

Despite the fact he could strip his clothes with magic he slowly began to undo the buckles, taking his leather outfit off manually instead. He folded his clothes and rested them on the nearest chair. Shirtless he sat down on his bed and began untying his boots so he could take of his pants.

Pushing his shoes to the side he peeled off his leather pants. He quickly replaced them with a pair of soft, dark green leggings and pulled on his armour. He remembered the last time he'd worn this particular armour had been at Thor's coronation, so much had changed since then.

Loki sighed, looking at himself in the mirror, he adjusted the shining armour, making sure it all looked properly. Parts of it were a little tight, tighter than Loki remembered, which was strange because he'd spent the years since he'd last worn this outfit with inconsistent amounts of food. Maybe it was muscle.

Loki refused to wear the helmet, it was heavy and hot and he really couldn't be bothered with it, plus he knew that Tony would just tease him for it, despite having a ridiculous helmet of his own. However, not wearing his helmet meant he had to do something presentable with his hair. He grabbed a hairbrush and ran it through his tangled black locks.

A heavy knock on his door make him look up, Loki frowned to himself before calling for whoever it was to come in. Thor opened the door and stepped into his room, Thor smiled at his brother who returned to sit on the end of his bed.

"It feels strange to do that again" Thor said, looking back at the door

"Of course it feels strange, you have never knocked before" Loki teased, Thor snorted softly before coming to sit next to his brother.

"Today went well" Thor commented

"It did," Loki replied "Thank you for speaking with Father and arranging all this"

"Father?" Thor asked with a smile

"We are trying" Loki stated, Thor began laughing "Shut up" Loki scowled, pushing his brother

"I am just glad" Thor smiled, wrapping an arm around Loki's shoulders

"I am sure you are" Loki replied, shrugging away from Thor and bringing up the hairbrush and running through his hair again.

"Want some help" Thor asked, holding his hand out for the brush, Loki rolled his eyes but handed the brush over anyway. Thor plaited a strand of Loki's hair on either side of his face and plaited them together at the back of Loki's head, just as he a done when they were children.

"You need a haircut" Thor said "Mother would be furious"

"You need a haircut" Loki scowled "And Mother would not be furious, she would be passive aggressive about and guilt us into having it cut." Thor snorted again

"There we go," Thor smiled, wrapping a hair band around the bottle of the plait.

"Thank you" Loki stated, taking the brush off of Thor and putting it back away.

"I'm glad you're going to Midgard brother, maybe you could join the Avengers and fight with us" Thor beamed, Loki shook his head

"I don't think so, being an Avenger is your thing. I think this is my chance to find out who a really am. Maybe I could get a normal job or something, make my own friends for once" Loki smiled

"You seem to be close to Steve's friend" Thor said, Loki turned to face him "Yes I noticed"

"He's nice; we are both looking for our real selves"

"Good" Thor smiled softly, glad that his brother was friends with someone at least.

Another knock at the door this time made both brothers look up, Loki once again called out for the person to enter. Odin opened the door, standing at the door he called out to his sons.

"Ah Thor, you're in here too, that has saved me a journey." The old king said "Are you ready? Everyone else is already waiting for us and I wish for us all to enter together." Both Thor and Loki looked at each other smiling warmly at their father's request.

"It is strange to be in this room again" Odin said after a moment

"I cannot believe everything is the same" Loki said quietly

"Aye, no one was allowed to move anything" Thor commented

"You can take your books to Midgard with you if you wish" Odin said, looking at the nearest shelf.

"Thank you" Loki replied "When do I leave?"

"Mid morning"

"Will you take his powers?" Thor asked

"No," Odin sighed "When you were banished Thor, Midgard was a safer place, I could send you there without your powers and you would be safe. Now Midgard is a different place, there are too many people who could wish to harm Loki, I dare not take your magic my son, you may need it to use it to protect yourself"

"Thank you Father" Odin nodded before gesturing for the boys to stand and leave.

Both Thor and Loki stood and got ready to leave the room. The three gods walked in a comfortable silence towards the Great Hall. Loki felt slightly awkward at being thrust into the role of Prince again but he was happy that he was with his family, or at least what remained of it.

When the trio entered the Great Hall they were greeted by the sight of everyone talking and eating. The Gods and Goddess that had previously been charged with judging Loki's innocence were mingling with the mortals. Odin walked towards his brothers and Thor towards his friends.

Loki stood there awkwardly for a moment. That was before Bucky walked towards him. He wore a steal gray tunic with black leggings and black boots. Loki smiled softly but Bucky was frowning.

"James?" Loki asked

"They all keep asking about my arm" Bucky replied rubbing his metal arm with his normal one self-consciously

"They've most likely never seen a metal arm before, Tyr is probably jealous" Loki said calmly "Asgard is not that advanced in the field of prosthetics and he has been without a hand for many a century"

Bucky looked down at his own hand, opening and clenching it. Loki took Bucky's hand and pulled it towards him, Bucky looked up at Loki.

"Do not worry about it James" Loki whispered "Just stay near me, they'll leave you alone if you do"

"I doubt that, you're the prince that returned from the void, the one that survived Thanos" Bucky pointed out "You're all anyone is talking about"

"They've always talked about me James, never to me" Loki sighed "But that suits me fine"

""Shouldn't you mingle?"

"Probably," Loki shrugged "But what do I have to say to them?" Before Bucky could reply a voice interrupted them

"Cousin" Balder greeted

"Balder" Loki drawled

"I can't believe you're alive" Balder said happily

"Neither can I" Loki replied sarcastically, Bucky rolled his eyes, hearing the silent "Right now I wish I wasn't". Balder noticed James' reaction and scowled.

"By the way," Balder said turning to Bucky "What happened to your arm" Bucky scoffed, shaking his head before turning away

"James..."

"I'm going to get a drink" Bucky said walking away, Loki scowled at Balder, if looks could kill Balder would be dead (He would have died centuries ago, but that wasn't the point)

"Was it something I said?" Balder asked, cocking his head to the side, playing innocent.

"What do you want Balder?" Loki snapped

"Nothing really, just wanted to say hello" Balder shrugged before walking away, Loki had to use all the self control he had to stop his hitting Balder as he walked away, he took a large breath in and counted to 10 as his mother had taught him but his murderous intentions towards his cousin didn't go away. Loki was about to turn to find Bucky but another voice interrupted him.

"Loki Odinson, you were not planning on ignoring me were you" a soft musical voice called, Loki turned round to see a tall beautiful woman with long flowing blonde hair. She wore a bluish green dress that matched her eyes with a dark brown belt around the waist.

"Sigyn" Loki greeted, hugging his old friend "I hear you have been stealing my notebooks"

"Only a couple" Sigyn laughed as she pulled away

"Which ones?"

"I'm surprised you do not already know" Sigyn smirked

"I have not had the chance to look" Loki smiled

"Just the ones on travelling between the worlds" The Goddess replied "But of course you had to write it in a special little code so I could not understand any of it" Loki laughed

"I cannot give away all my secrets" Loki countered

"I cursed you, I wanted you to bring you back from the dead to so you could tell me what it meant and then strangle you for being so infuriating" Sigyn stated, punching Loki's shoulder playfully

"I still would not have told you"

"I know," Sigyn laughed "You and your stubbornness"

"I hear Theoric finally got his act together" Loki laughed

"Aye, t'is good to finally be married, I felt like such a fraud being the Goddess of Fidelity and not being married"

"Well I'm glad you've finally sorted yourself out, honestly you were a disgrace" Loki teased

"Says you, Mr God of Lies but cannot look Mommy in the eye without spilling the truth"

"God of Mischief actually, the other is just a nickname" Loki retorted, knowing there was no malice behind Sigyn's words. She was correct; Loki could never lie to his mother.

"Anyway it is your turn next, to get married, that is"

"And whom, pray tell, would I wed?"

"Fandral has always had a thing for you" Sigyn shrugged

"Fandral has a thing for everyone," Loki dismissed "I mean look at him now, he's attempting to flirt with Anthony and Natasha at the same time"

"True," Sigyn laughed at Fandral's hopeless attempt (With Natasha at least, Tony looked as if he might have been tempted) "you will find someone"

"Well if you believe that then I suppose it is possible" Loki said "Anything else exciting happening in your life?"

"Well, don't let anyone, but I am with child" Sigyn whispered, Loki's eyes immediately lit up

"Really?" he asked excitedly, Sigyn nodded, taking Loki's hands and squeezed them.

"You're going to be an uncle" she smiled

"I would be honoured" Loki beamed hugging his friend tightly, Sigyn had always wanted children, as had Loki; they had spent many hours speaking of their future children, their names, what they would look like. Loki was happy for Sigyn, but also jealous.

The old friends conversed for a short while longer before Loki decided to attempt to find Bucky. He looked around the room for several long moments before finally finding him. He was sat in the corner with Fandral. He was smiling stoking one of Fandral's hunting dogs. A large beast with a swollen belly and thick greyish brown fur that strongly resembled that of a wolf.

"Of course you would find the animals" Loki said in greeting, Fandral looked up as Loki approached but Bucky didn't

"Where else would I be?" James replied as he petted the dog again "She's a beautiful creature"

"Aye she is, my best dog too" Fandral replied

"When will she give birth?" Bucky asked as Loki sat next to him

"In a couple of weeks" Fandral said, "This will be her third litter, she's a great mother" Fandral also pet his dog. Loki smiled at Bucky's expression, caring and full of happiness

"I bet they're going to be cute." Bucky said "I was never allowed a dog when I was little"

"I could always send you one when they're weaned" Fandral suggested

"Really?" Bucky asked, eyes lighting up.

"Aye, if the Allfather allows it,"

"You would just give one away?" Loki asked "With their breeding you could get a lot of money for them"

"I know," Fandral sighed "But I don't breed her for the money. I want the puppies to go to a good home"

"Is that why you refuse to let Tyr have one?" Loki asked

"Exactly"

"Why? What's Tyr done?" Bucky asked

"He lost his hand because of the way he treated Loki's wolf" Fandral said simply

"He did not like that I had a wolf, not a dog, even though they look so similar. Fenrir grew big, too big for Asgard apparently. I loved that wolf and he loved me. He went missing one day, I looked for him everywhere but Tyr had killed him" Loki sighed "Father was furious, he had Tyr's hand cut off for it." Loki reached out to pet the dog's nose

"Kotyenok that's horrible" Bucky said, finally looking at the God

"Aye, it was 400 years ago James, there is not much to do about it now. Tyr has paid for his actions; he lost his hand and was stripped of his rank. He's built himself up again now." Loki said dully, not wanting to think of it anymore.

"I've always said you could have a pup if you wanted" Fandral reminded

"I know" Loki replied leaning back. Bucky rested his head on Loki's arm and sighed. The small group fell silent as they people watched. Sif, Sam and Clint were chatting happily whilst Hogun, Steve and Thor were drinking mead. Volstagg was shoving yet another boar leg in his mouth and Nat and Vor were discussing battle strategies. Tony was taking pictures of everything on his phone; Bucky kind of wished he had thought to bring his camera.

"When are we going home?" Bucky asked tiredly

"Tomorrow" Loki said with a voice that sounded equally as tired.

"Good"

"Homesick?"

"Just a bit, I miss JARVIS and Negodyay." Bucky sighed

* * *

 

The next couple of days passed in a blur for Loki. He had said goodbye to Odin, Sigyn and the others (including Thor who had decided to stay and help his father rule Asgard) and then he'd been officially exiled. When they all got back to the Avengers tower Tony had assigned him a room. Loki didn't know whether he had put Loki in the room next to Bucky's on purpose but he appreciated the gesture nevertheless.

Over the next couple of days the Avengers had helped decorate Loki's room with a myriad of greens and browns/blacks. He had a large king size bed, a wardrobe, drawers, bedside tables, as well as several bookcases and a desk that all matched the colour scheme.

Loki had mainly brought clothes and books with him from Asgard, he had also brought a couple of models of animals (wolf, horse, phoenix) his mother had gifted him along with her daggers. He had put the necklace on the moment his father gave it him and hadn't taken it off since.

Loki had been putting his final books in the last remaining spaces on his bookshelf when Tony came into his room, he didn't knock but Loki's door was open and JARVIS had already informed Loki of Stark's intentions.

"Hey Bambi" Tony greeted; Loki rolled his eyes at the nickname.

"What?" he sighed

"I have presents for you, be nice" Tony laughed; Loki placed the last book on the shelf and turned to see Tony with a handful of appliances. Loki lifted an eyebrow inquisitively but said nothing. "Okay, so, here's a laptop, phone, Starkpad and some head phones" he said putting the listed items on Loki's bed.

"You do realise how vain you sound, naming products after yourself?" Loki drawled

"Hey, they're my products, I made them, I get to name them" Tony scolded playfully "Now, I don't have time to explain how to use them right now, I have a board meeting in an hour, but if you find me later I can go over the basics with you."

"I am not my brother Anthony, I know how to use a phone and a laptop" Loki sighed, picking up the phone and turning it on.

"Really? Oh thank god, I love you" Tony said pulling Loki into a hug, ignoring Loki's little squeak of surprise "I am so sick of explaining how they work, I mean Bucky caught on pretty quick, he knew a lot already but Steve and Thor, give me strength" Tony sighed, Loki smiled

"Thor has never cared for technology, he has always favoured the more obvious things, that is why he trained so hard to become a warrior"

"You didn't?"

"I trained as much as one normally would, but it was rather obvious that I favoured a more academic setting. It was decided when we were younger that Thor would learn how to fight and rule the kingdom, and I would learn how to run a kingdom through finances and diplomacy" Loki explained "I also preferred to use Seidr to fight with, rather than force"

"You've gotta let me do some scans on your magic, I'd love to get some reading on it" Tony said excitedly "pretty please" Loki snorted a laugh

"In the future I am sure you will get plenty of opportunities" Loki smiled

"Great" Tony clapped "Oh before I forget" Tony reached into his pocket, pulling out a small rectangular object "This is a card linked to the Avengers bank account; you can buy what you want with it"

Loki took the card off the genius and thanked him.

"You can buy stuff offline, but I wouldn't go outside just yet if I was you, not until I've told Fury. I don't want you to get in trouble with SHIELD"

"When will you tell him?"

"I've called him, but he's apparently busy. He's going to come by at his "earliest convenience", so soon"

"Thank you for letting me stay" Loki said quietly

"No problem," Tony said turning to leave the room "If you need anything please just let me know"

"I will"

* * *

 

It was a couple of days after the Avengers had come back from Asgard Bucky had the opportunity to leave the tower. He was having a bad day. He'd been woken by a nightmare that he hadn't been able to shake, the memory of Alexander Pierce and his other handlers had followed him down the halls of the tower all day, never letting him relax.

Natasha had then proceeded to make him jump by appearing silently behind him, so much so he'd lashed out. His instincts taking over, striking at her with his metal arm, she's only been able to dodge the blow because of her own instincts.

Of course then not only was Bucky feeling frightened and jumpy he also felt guilty at almost hurting the assassin again. He'd attempted to apologize but he couldn't get the words out, instead he'd turned and ran, running into Steve and Sam on the way, knocking the latter over before he could escape to his room and with the help of JARVIS keep his door closed.

Bucky sighed as he pulled on his shoes, tying the laces. He ran his hand through his thick brown hair before pulling out his camera case and placed it gently in his bag. He sighed again, getting his coat out of his wardrobe.

"Are you alright Sir?" JARVIS asked, making Bucky jump slightly

"Yeah..." He sighed again "Is Loki awake?"

"Yes sir, he is reading in his room. Do you wish for me to contact him?"

"No, I'll go to his room, thanks JARVIS"

"No problem Bucky" The AI responded and for the first time that day he smiled.

Picking up his bag Bucky left his room and walked down the short hall to Loki's room. He knocked on the door and waited until he heard a curious "come in" before opening the door. Loki smiled upon seeing Bucky. He was sat on his bed, still fully clothed despite the late hour, with an old dusty book his hands.

"James!" he greeted happily before frowning slightly "Are you alright? Steven came buy earlier asking if I'd seen you, he told me what happened. I would have come to visit; only JARVIS said you wished not to be disturbed."

"I will be, it's just a bad day. You know, nightmares and memories"

"Combining and following you every step you take" Loki finished

"Yeah, I just need to take my mind off them. Do something for me, I guess" Bucky said

"I know what you mean," Loki smiled, leaning against the headboard "I like to cast illusions, not ones of trickery but fun, cute little things" As he spoke his waved his fingers and a little green butterfly appeared, fluttering playfully on the tips of his fingers "They require energy and concentration if I am to maintain them, therefore I cannot think of the darker times in my life" he said, clenching his fist "or they wither and die" as he spoke the butterfly caught fire and ashes floated down, only to disappear when they came in contact with the bed.

Bucky took a subconscious step backwards, for once seeing the darker side of Loki, the broken side he kept so hidden. The side that stored up all the pain and anger, storing it up for what? Bucky wondered.

"Well my outlet is photography" Bucky said, despite Loki already knowing "D'ya wanna come?"

"What? Now?" Loki asked, surprised.

"No in 3 week, yes now" Bucky rolled his eyes

"Anthony says I'm not allowed outside" Loki said sadly, Bucky rolled his eyes again.

"Neither am I. That's why we're going to go in the middle of the night and we're going to sneak out." Bucky pointed out

"But how?" Loki asked again unsure

"JARVIS, where is everybody?"

"Mr Stark is in his lab, otherwise everyone else is asleep. Brain waves indicate that bar an unnatural source no one will wake for several hours" The AI responded

"There we go, we're fine. You coming or what?"

Loki quickly pulled on his boots, ignoring Bucky's advice to bring a coat, and the two were soon on their way. Loki was a little reluctant at first, not wanting to break the rules, not wanting to get into trouble. But then he remembered who he was. He was the God of Mischief and rules were meant to be broken.

"Are you sure you're not cold?" Bucky asked, pulling his own coat tighter around himself.

"Frost Giant remember?" Loki pointed out "the entire realm is made from ice, I do not feel the cold"

Bucky nodded

"But thank you for asking" Loki smiled warmly, Bucky didn't see Loki do anything but suddenly he too was unable to feel the cold, he looked at Loki but the God showed no visible indication that he had done anything.

"Thank you" Bucky whispered

"You're welcome"

They walked at a comfortable pace to the park. Loki listened carefully as Bucky explained the mechanics of photography, despite being smart a lot of what Bucky was saying went over Loki's head, meaning he had to ask for further explanations which Bucky didn't mind giving.

When they got to the park Loki followed Bucky quietly as he moved to take a picture of a wide eyed fox. Bucky was glad that Loki was as silent on his feet as he was himself otherwise the animals would have been scared off and he didn't want that.

Loki enjoyed watching his friend take pictures, the concentration on his face reminded Loki of himself when he was learning a new spell or creating an illusion. Bucky moved to take a picture of a large red toadstool and Loki smirked to himself.

Suddenly two little glowing green Faeries appeared on top of the toadstool. Bucky snorted and muttered Loki's name but still he took the picture. Laughing out loud when one of the tiny Faeries "decided" to flip him off. Rising to his feet Bucky shoved Loki playfully.

"Idiot" he muttered

"It's just a bit of fun really" Loki smirked

"I'm sure it is." Bucky said "Imagine if I put this online and people could see it wasn't edited. How would I explain that my friend just magically conjured some Faeries out of thin air?"

"Don't explain it" Loki shrugged "It is much more fun when people keep trying to figure something out that they cannot"

"You saying people are stupid?" Bucky asked in mock offence, adjusting the settings on his camera.

"No, I am saying a lot of Humans are closed minded. They will refuse to admit to themselves that what they see is magic, for magic is for children. They will over look greatness and wonder because it is deemed impossible. There is magic in this word James, there always had been, but for some reason a long time ago it was decided that magic was evil. And then it was not real, and next it was used as a story to put children to sleep"

"Can humans do magic then?" Bucky asked, snapping a photo of a falling leaf

"There were a few who could, Merlin for one"

"He was real, I just thought he was a story" Bucky shrugged as they walked forward

"A perfect example of magic being forgotten" Loki sighed "There are possibly a handful of Midgardians who possess enough natural Seidr to learn how to cast, but it is difficult to tell"

Loki stopped where he stood and turned to look up at the stars, smiling slightly at the sight of the constellations.

"There is magic everywhere James. In the air we breathe, in the stars we see, in the sounds we hear, yet it all gets over looked" Loki sighed. Bucky turned and smiled at Loki's content expression, taking a photo of him while he wasn't looking.

"Come on, this way, there is someone I want you to meet" Bucky said, taking Loki's hand, leading his to the middle of the park.

"Your raccoon?" Loki asked

"My raccoon" Bucky nodded "Negodyay"

As if upon hearing its name the little raccoon came bounding towards Bucky, skidding to a halt upon seeing Loki. Squeaking slightly taking a step back. Its fur fluffed out as Bucky encouraged Loki to crouch down as he did. He pulled out some nuts and gave Loki a handful, telling him to hold it out to the raccoon.

It didn't take long for Negodyay to warm up to Loki, it was soon eating out of the palm of his hand whilst Bucky pet its coarse fur. The raccoon squeaked playfully as Loki moved to pet it, jumping back when Loki tried to touch its ears before sneaking back to steal a nut. Both Loki and Bucky laughed at the raccoon's antics.

"Mischievous little thing are you not?" Loki asked

"The first time I came here Negodyay took off with the whole bag of nuts before I knew what was happening, and I didn't even bring them for it, they were for me, I was hungry" Bucky told Loki who finally managed to pet the raccoon.

"Cute though" Loki smirked

"Besides Fenrir and Sleipnir, did you have any pets?"

"I had a snake, Jörmungandr, he too grew too large" Loki said "And I had a raven, but it flew away"

"Oh" Bucky said "What is it with you and animals getting too big?"

"I have no idea. " Loki huffed "I do wish they would not it makes it difficult to care for them. What about you"

"I had a cat apparently, I'm not sure about it though, or anything else really. I know I wasn't allowed a dog, Dad didn't like them. One bit him and he had this big scar on his hand because of it." Bucky sighed "It's strange that I can remember that easily but I can't match his face to his name" he shrugged

"Memory is a fickle thing" Loki commented, watching as Negodyay seemingly had enough and scampered away back into the bushes. "I know everyone is telling you to remember, but take this from someone who is over 1000 years old, not everything is worth remembering. I may sound senseless saying this, but why struggle to remember your mothers favourite colour when it no longer matters, she's dead" he shrugged "She died thinking you were dead. Over time she probably forgot your favourite colour."

"It's not important, make new memories, meet new people and learn their favourite colour. Don't let the pat drag you down James. There are thousands of things I could recall but no of them help me now. What good is knowing what my Grandfather spent his spare time doing? None, it is trivial and not worth remembering. I could sit here and tell you how each stitch felt as the needle pierced my lips and sewed them together, but why. It's not worth remembering."

"You're the first person to tell me not to worry. Everyone wants me to remember. To be some like Steve who can go "In the war this happened" I don't remember the war. I don't remember who a lot of people are. Steve took me to our exhibit at the Smithsonian, I can remember about two of the Howling Commandos but I pretended to remember all of them for him" Bucky stated

"Be a new person" Loki said "My mother spoke to me in my dreams; she said that I'd been given a second chance to do everything I wanted. So have you James. There is no longer a war that requires your participation. Become a professional photographer if you wish, become an Avenger, be you."

"What are you going to do?"

"For now, I'm going to read all the literature I have missed in the past 200 years and learn more spells. Thor suggested that I fight with the Avengers. I might do, I do not know yet. I do not have to know yet; things will become clearer in time"

The two sat on the ground for several moments longer in silence, neither really needing to say anything. They both had a lot to think about. Who would they become now? Who were they truly? Who did they need to become to truly be themselves?

Suddenly a sharp ringing interrupted the pair's silence, shattering it abruptly. Bucky frowned and pulled his phone out of his pocket, seeing JARVIS' name flash upon the screen he frowned further. Why was JARVIS ringing him? Bucky briefly looked at Loki who was as equally confused before answering.

"JARVIS?"

"Sirs, I fear an unnatural source has woken everyone in the tower. Director Fury has arrived, your absence has been noticed" JARVIS stated, Bucky groaned

"We are so fucked"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter, please tell me what you think in the comments.
> 
> Fandral's dog is supposed to be some sort of Siberian Laika/Husky thing. If you guys do want Bucky to get a puppy please let me know. Some people have already said yes. Any names for it would also be appreciated. The PhoenixAndTheDragon has suggested Anastasia which is currently my favourite.
> 
> Sorry if I got too deep about the whole memory thing, I have no idea where it came from, it wasn't expected.
> 
> Thanks again,
> 
> Lyna


	5. Examination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury drives a hard bargin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys,
> 
> Sorry it's been a while, I have just started university and as you can probably guess it's been a little hectic. I don't know how regular updates are going to be for the moment, I need to find a new routine. But never fear, this story is still being written. I'm working on Chapter 6 right now :D
> 
> Lyna x

"Sirs?" JARVIS' voice rang out across the cold air. But Bucky and Loki both ignored the AI. Bucky rose to his feet and turned away from Loki, muttering Russian curses as he did. Loki too stood up as Bucky rested both of his hands on the top of his head. A sign of his exasperation.

"James, It will be okay" Loki said softly

"No it won't." Bucky spat back "They're gonna kill me. I'm not supposed to leave the tower Loki. I'm a risk to other people, not to mention myself. I could seriously hurt someone"

"And have you?" Loki asked "I do not think that JARVIS would have assisted us tonight if he believed that either of us would pose a threat to the wider population"

"Yeah but they don't know that" Bucky turned to face Loki, tears shining, unshed, in his bright blue eyes. "What if they lock me up again? That's what Fury wanted to do with me at first, but Steve promised he'd stop me from hurting people"

"I could always turn you into a cat" Loki joked, trying to lift the mood slightly, Bucky just scowled at the God, "Look I will stick up for you as you did for me. Fury's probably going to be focused more on me then he is you" Loki pointed out

"Oh God. I brought you with me" Bucky groaned "I, a mentally unstable former assassin that could snap at any moment, has brought an equally unstable former attacker of the world outside in the middle of the night without any supervision where we could do God knows how much damage"

"How dare you" Loki said "I like to think I am much less mentally stable than you good sir"

"Could you take things seriously for one second?"

"Where would be the fun in that?" Loki rolled his eyes, "Relax, if it all goes to shit I can just teleport us out of there" he shrugged

"What?"

"It will be fine, Fury cannot harm you or me, we will be out of there before he can blink" Loki smiled "Do not worry"

"Sirs I believe it would be beneficial if you began to return to the Tower, so I can inform the Avenger's that a search party is not necessary" JARVIS interrupted

"Come on," Loki held out his hand "It's going to feel like the Bifrost. Whatever you do don't let go"

The moment Bucky took hold of Loki's hand he was blinded by a flash of bright green light. The air around them got warmer as the soft ground beneath them disappeared and was replaced by the hard floor of the living room of the Avengers tower.

"Holy shit" Bucky muttered when he opened his eyes, letting go of Loki's hand. Everyone was gathered in the living room, Fury and Hill included. All of them jumped slightly when Loki and Bucky appeared, or all of them except Natasha.

"Imagine how shocked I was the first time I did something like that" Loki laughed "One moment I was in my room the next I was in the stables"

"Where is God's name have you been Bucky?" Steve snapped

"Taking pictures" Bucky replied gesturing to the camera around his neck.

"Bucky you know you're not allowed to go out without someone" Steve sighed like a disappointed parent.

"I am not your dog" Bucky spat back "You don't get to decide when I can go out or when I have to stay inside. I'm sick of being cooped up like some injured bird"

"You are injured!" Steve retorted "You have panic attacks Buck, you could hurt someone"

"That's why I go at night, no one is there!" Bucky snapped "And don't you dare use that against me. Tony has panic attacks all the fucking time, he's not on a fucking leash"

"Why's this suddenly about me?" Tony asked

"Anthony, do be quiet for a moment Darling. James is talking" Loki replied, looking at his nails, disinterested with Bucky and Steve's dispute. Tony just snorted at the god before smirking.

"I'm not using your illness against you Buck. I'm telling the truth, you lashed out at Nat today and knocked Sam over, you're not safe-"

"That's why I took Loki" Bucky interrupted "And do you really think JARVIS would help us out if he thought I would hurt someone" he reused Loki's previous argument.

"JARVIS helped you?" Tony asked "Jay!"

"Forgive me Sir" JARVIS replied "I felt that it was beneficial to both Bucky and Loki to be able to go outside. According to my scans Bucky returns from his outings more relaxed and is able to sleep better."

"Wait you've done this before?" Steve asked

"Every since I got my camera" Bucky shrugged

"You've been sneaking out for months?"

"JARVIS, why didn't you tell anyone" Natasha asked

"My protocols do not require me to notify anyone when someone leaves the building. If I was asked their location I could not lie, but nor did I have to seek someone out" JARVIS replied

"So you found a way around your own system" Tony stated "Jay, you honestly amaze me. I can't believe I built you"

"Thank you Sir"

"This is all very well and touching but can we get back to the actual issue at hand" Fury decided to speak up at last "Loki"

"Hello Director, how have you been" Loki smiled

"I was better when I thought you were out of my hair"

"You do not have any" Loki replied swiftly, "However there is spell to fix that for you if you wish. However I cannot promise the colour will be correct. Poor Sif stuck with brown hair for the rest of her life. Then again, she should have just apologised"

"I don't want you anywhere near me"

"Fair enough" Loki shrugged

"Director Fury, you seem rather relaxed about Loki being here. Shouldn't you be more angry?" Clint asked.

"I already knew he was here" Fury replied with a sigh. "Some woman came to me in my sleep and demanded me to give him a chance. Normally I'd refuse but she was in my head. I don't wanna risk pissing her off or turning into some sort of slave thing"

Loki smiled at the thought of his mother visiting the Director in his sleep and threatening him. Bucky looked at Loki, upon seeing the God's expression he too smiled.

"Your mother?" he mouthed, Loki nodded and Bucky's smile grew.

"So you're okay with him staying here?" Tony asked

"I have some conditions" Fury stated

"Name them" Loki retorted simply

"I want you to come to SHIELD, I want you to go under some tests"

"Fury no, that's crossing the line" Tony interrupted, "He was controlled, he wasn't himself, he's no threat to anyone"

"That's not exactly true Stark" Fury replied "He may not have been in control of his actions then, but we've seen what damage he can do"

"What will these tests entail?" Loki asked, unblinking

"Blood tests, fitness test. I want to know everything about you and your species, your abilities, your limits. I want to know how to take you down if you do turn on us again. I want to know everything. I want to test your magic and find out what you actually can do" Fury explained

"How long will they take?"

"A day or two"

"And if I do them I'll be able to come back and you'll leave me alone?" Loki asked

"As long as you cooperate" Fury nodded

"Very well, I will do them" Loki stated

"Lo, you don't have to..." Tony stated

"It is fine, I will do the tests, it is an easy price to pay. I do not wish to cause trouble" Loki countered

"I want Barnes to do them as well" Fury stated

"No, Fury you promised you'd leave him alone" Steve snapped "You said he could have time to heal"

"He's had time to heal. He's been going to therapy for months and she thinks he is ready for the tests. I promised I would give him time, if he's well enough to sneak out and speak up for himself then a little blood test and some time on a treadmill isn't going to hurt him"

"What if he has a panic attack-" Steve started

"Can I do them at the same time as Loki?" Bucky interrupted

"I don't see why not" Fury nodded

"Then I'll do them too"

* * *

 

Loki and Bucky followed Agent Hill throughout the SHIELD facility, the next day. A number of Agents stopped to stare at the pair, some recognising Loki from the invasion a few years prior. Loki tried to ignore the way several people reached for their holstered weapons. Very few recognised Bucky, only one agent with long blonde hair seemed to show any kind of reaction but Bucky didn't notice.

The pair were led to a large open room that looked like a mash up of a science lab and a gym, with lab equipment isolated to one corner and gym equipment everywhere else. It was open plan with white walls full of large windows and a grey floor. There were a few doors along one wall leading to several changing rooms but Loki and Bucky were first led to a lab table in the corner.

Fury stood at the table along with several scientists, the Director stood there, still and serious, whilst the scientists hovered around awkwardly. Hill stopped in front of the table and nodded at her boss. Loki and Bucky stopped behind her and exchanged glances before looking at the Director.

"Loki, Bucky I'm glad you could make it" The Director drawled

"There is nowhere else I would rather be" Loki smirked, Bucky huffed beside him. His own opinion couldn't be more different if he tried. He'd rather be at home, asleep. But he didn't really have a choice.

"I'm sure there isn't." Fury stated "First things first. You need to go into the changing rooms, either one each or together. I don't care. These guys" he gestured to the scientists "Are going to take your blood, your weight excreta and do a full physical examination"

"Is that really necessary?" Loki asked

"Yes, I want everything about you recorded. I want x-rays done, I want to know everything that is going on inside you."

"Why does any of that matter? I'm not even in my real form. None of that really matters" Loki argued

"What do you mean you're not in your real form?" Fury exclaimed, Bucky along with the others also looked confused at Loki's revelation

"This is a glamour" Loki said, gesturing to his body "Odin placed it on me at birth"

"Well you're going to have to take it off" Fury shrugged

"No" Loki snapped quickly

"You agreed before. You need to be in your real form." Fury said and turned away, ending the discussion, leaving Loki speechless, for the first time in his life.

Loki and Bucky were led into one of the changing rooms, inside was a set of scales, a height gage, and little bed and several other pieces of medical equipment. It was Bucky who decided they'd share a room. Loki had stopped talking and fallen into a sort of catatonic state. The scientists left the pair in the room on their own with instructions to change into the little paper hospital-like gowns.

"Kotyenok?" Bucky asked, reaching a hand out, placing it on Loki's arm

"I...I can't" Loki stammered, looking blankly ahead "I can't"

"I'm sure it's not that bad" Bucky attempted, rubbing his arm but Loki pulled away

"I'm a monster" Loki whispered

"What? Kotyenok, you're not a monster."Bucky replied, "Never a monster."

"You haven't seen it. I'm not me. I'm hideous. I... I'm not even a real man in that form" Loki whimpered, tears running down his face

"Loki, you're not making any sense." Bucky sighed, sitting on the bed, he reached out and took Loki's hand- pulling him closer "What do you mean?"

Loki hesitated for a moment before sitting next to Bucky and sighing, he attempted to wipe away the falling tears with the sleeve of his jumper.

"I am Jotunn. The Jotnar are fierce creatures. Their skin is blue and their eyes are blood red. They're tall and muscular, they can control the ice." Loki explained briefly, his own knowledge limited "They are hermaphrodites, intersex, however you want to put it. From what I can gather the Jotnar chose their gender, therefore they are very open towards sexuality."

"I guess that's where I get it from" Loki sighed "I have never really conformed to masculinity completely. As a shifter I chose what I want to be, when I want to be it. But this is the skin I feel most comfortable in. This form is Loki. My other forms have different names. But in that form I am not Loki anymore. I don't have a name in that form"

"Your parent's didn't name you?"

"I don't know. I killed my birth father before he knew who I was. I was abandoned James. I doubt I was named."

"I'm sure it's not that bad Loki, it's just another form. You give it a name, you decide. You're not a monster. Your skin colour does not make you a bad person. " Bucky stated "It won't change who you are on the inside"

Loki looked up at James, green eyes meeting blue. Bucky smiled, attempting once again, to reassure his friend.

"Show me Loki, I promise you, everything will be okay" Loki sighed once more, pulling away from James

"Do not touch me, I do not know how cold my skin will get. It may burn you" Loki said, falling completely silent. Bucky watched in amazement as Loki's pale white skin faded to an ash grey before shifting to a beautiful blue.

His skin was decorated with raised lines that criss-crossed over his body. Bucky gasped as the small room got colder around them, he reached out with his metal arm, his fingers brushing against the rough blue skin. Loki flinched away

"Don't"

"It's metal Loki. I don't have any feeling in it anyway" Bucky said, leaning back over to run his fingers over his skin. Loki looked up at Bucky. Despite being told Bucky was shocked to see Loki's red eyes. "Kotyenok, have you ever seen yourself like this?"

"No" Loki said quickly, turning away from Bucky's face "I know I look hideous" tears began to fall again, freezing as they ran down his cheeks, falling off the bottom of his chin, shattering as they hit the floor.

"Loki. You're beautiful" Bucky whispered. Loki shook his head

"You're just saying that"

"No. No I'm not. Your skin is amazing, so what if it's blue. These lines" Bucky ran a finger over one of the lines on his arm, Loki shivered at the touch "are beautiful, it's like an intricate pattern and I bet they tell a story. "

"I know some of them mean I am of royal blood, but I don't know which ones"

"See." Bucky smiled "They mean something, they're important. How can something that tells the story of your life be hideous?"

"I'm still a monster"

"Are you? Are you really? You're not evil, ok so you've done bad things in the past. Who hasn't? We've both killed people. More people than we can count. But do you feel remorse, guilt, regret?"

"Of course I do. I wish I could take back what I've done. I have taken so many lives, none that deserved to be taken. I wish I could go back" Loki explained

"And that there is what makes you the furthest thing from a monster. A monster wouldn't feel like that, a monster wouldn't care. The fact that you do shows that you're not monster" Bucky smiled warmly

"You think so?" Loki asked, voice hoarse

"I know so" Loki returned Bucky's smile.

"I guess we should change then?" Loki said, looking at the papery gowns

"Erg, I guess" Bucky sighed "I hate those things, so many bad memories. Anyway, have you decided on a name?"

"No, I want..." Loki began "Heimdall, if you're watching, could you ask Thor or Father to find out the name given to me at birth by my parents, if they gave me one, thank you. If I did not have one then I will pick something out"

"How do you know he'll have heard?"

"Heimdall sees and hears all, he will have heard" Loki smiled again

"Bit creepy" Bucky frowned "Does he watch all the time. You know like when you're in the bath, or are having sex"

"I do not know, I hope he looks away" Loki shrugged

"Pervert"

"I have a spell that shields me when I do not want to be seen" Loki explained, taking off his jacket, "Come on"

After changing Loki and Bucky called the scientists back into the room. Then they were weighed, their blood was taken before their bodies were fully examined and documented, much to the displeasure of both of the men involved.

They were then allowed to change into their own clothes (and Loki his more comfortable form after arguing it didn't affect his stamina etc) and led towards the gym equipment. It was then tested how much they could lift, how far they could run, how fast they could run and all sorts of things. They spent all day at the SHIELD facility and by the time they were allowed to go back home they were both sweaty and tired.

* * *

 

None of the Avengers were about when the two men got home so they both went to their own rooms to relax. Loki immediately went into his bath room and began to run himself a bath. He slowly began to take off his sweat soaked clothes and looked at his naked body in the full length mirror.

He closed his eyes and then his skin once again began to shift back towards the pale blue. Loki didn't like how all of all of a sudden the air around him felt too hot. How the steam from the rising bath water burned as it brushed against his skin.

Taking a large breath Loki finally opened his eyes to look at himself.

James was right, he was beautiful.

The blue skin and red eyes that had haunted his dreams for so long no longer looked as horrific as he'd imagined. Instead it was sort of flattering. His inky black hair stood out against the dark blue and the raised swirling lines that danced across his skin were hypnotic. They told the story of Loki's life and although he couldn't yet read it, Loki thought he could have spent hours tracing the lines, trying to figure it out.

Loki was not that bothered as much by the difference between his legs. He had been a woman before, not long ago actually. Loki had no qualms about shifting form. In this form he had both sets of reproductive organs. In this form he wasn't Loki, only one of his forms was Loki.

He could live with this. It wasn't that bad. He thought. Nebula had blue skin and she was beautiful. Gamora had green and so was she. He could still be beautiful like this. He was beautiful like this. He smiled to himself before shifting back into his Aesir form and turning of the taps of the bath, knowing the warm water would burn him as a Jotun.

When he climbed in he breathed a sigh of relief. No matter how his opinion on his Jotun form had changed he was glad to be warm again. As a Jotun he was comfortable in the cold weather, but not warm. He was either comfortable in the cold or too hot. As a Jotun there was no in between, but as an Aesir, he'd found it.

Loki liked baths, he missed his large tub in Asgard but the one in the Avengers Tower was big enough, courtesy of Tony Stark. Loki could sink down into the amass of bubbles and spread out, relax.

Loki shampooed and conditioned his hair and rubbed soap all over his body, making sure he was completely clean. He sighed happily and closed his eyes. He was dangerously close to falling asleep when he felt the magic in the air. Sighing to himself he clambered out of the bath, grabbing the nearby towel and wrapping it around his body.

He knew what was coming, that little magical disturbance in the air meant one thing and one thing only. The Bifrost was opening. With a slight wave of his hand he was dry once more and he began to get dressed. A dark green T-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants is what he went for, choosing comfort over formality. If it were either Odin or Thor visiting they would not care what Loki wore, and if it were anyone else Loki didn't care what they thought of him.

"Sir, Mr Odinson has arrived" JARVIS announced as the Tower shook slightly with the force of the Bifrost.

"Thank you JARVIS" Loki murmured before pulling on some boot like slippers and moving towards the door, "Where is he?"

"In the Living Room Sir, he is alone" JARVIS stated.

Loki teleported to the Living Room, right next to where Thor was standing, making the God of Thunder jump and almost drop the leather bound book he was holding. Loki rolled his eyes at his brother .

"Loki!" Thor exclaimed

"You should really start expecting it" Loki laughed

"Aye, you've only been doing it 750 years" Thor smiled

"Why are you here?" Loki asked, trying to read the title of the cover of the book.

"You asked for some information on your birth, did you not?" Thor replied "I went to Jotunheim for you and got some answers" Thor held the book out to Loki "This is information on Jotuns, on their biology, life style, diet,"

"Thank you" Loki murmured, accepting the book, running one hand over the cover.

"There's more" Thor said, "Please, sit down" Thor gestured to the armchairs. Loki frowned but did as his brother asked. Being asked to sit down was always the precursor to bad news. Thor too, sat down on an armchair opposite.

"What is it?" Loki asked, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice and the way the dread of not knowing pooled in his stomach.

"I met your mother" Thor said almost reluctantly

"What?" Loki squeaked

"Farbauti," Thor stated "you have two brothers too. Helblindi and Byleistr. Helblindi is the King now, after Laufey's death."

"Do... Do they know who I am?"

"No, like I said before, nobody knows who you really are. They found it a bit odd that I asked for information, I told them as future king of Asgard I wished to know of all the realms, they were happy enough to give me the book"

Loki nodded as Thor spoke, staring at the floor, once again guilt over Laufey's murder washed over him. He wished he could go back. In reality he knew nothing of his birth father, he had so many questions that only Laufey could answer.

"They didn't abandon you Loki" Thor whispered, Loki looked up

"What? But Odin said-"

"I know what Father said, Farbauti said she left you in a temple, to protect you. That when she went back you were gone. She thinks her first born is dead"

"Really?"

"Aye, your name was Loptr" Thor revealed

"Loptr" Loki repeated softly, smiling to himself.

"I am told it means Air, fitting for someone who loves to fly" Thor teased

"I suppose it is," Loki smiled "Did you find out anything else?"

"No, not really. I was told that book will cover all you should wish to know. It is up to you whether or not you want to come forward and tell them about your true heritage. They do not seem to know who killed Laufey, they believe it was Odin but are unsure."

"Do you think I should?"

"It is up to you brother, it will most likely involve telling everyone, I do not know how the people of Asgard will react, but I will be by your side no matter what." Thor promised, reaching out and squeezing Loki's hand.

"When do you leave again?" Loki asked after a moment's silence.

"As soon as this conversation is over." Thor said sadly, "Father is making me work hard, he is giving me more responsibility with the Kingdom. He feels his Odin's sleep is close and I will soon be Regent whilst he rests"

Loki nodded, he understood why his brother had to leave, it didn't mean he wouldn't miss the big oaf.

"But worry not brother, I will be back in a few weeks. Fandral's bitch whelped last week, your friend wished for a pup, did he not?"

"Yes, Odin is allowing him to have one then?"

"He does not see any harm in it" Thor smiled, Loki returned the smile before the Thunder stood up. "Well brother, I will leave you to rest, you look as if you have had a tiring day" he pulled Loki into a tight, bone crushing hug before releasing him "Stay safe brother, I will see you when I return"

"It is you who needs to stay safe" Loki laughed, pushing Thor playfully "Give father my best"

"I will" Thor said before walking out onto the landing bay of the Tower, summoning the Bifrost. Loki watched as his brother disappeared before heading to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, tell me what you think in the comments.
> 
> I have recieved a lot of support over the whole "Bucky gets a dog" idea. So Bucky's getting a dog. But now I'm asking you guys; Should Loki come clean to his birth family? How far should he come clean? Tell them eveyrthing or just that he's their missing son/brother?
> 
> It's up to you guys really :D
> 
> Also any prompts/ideas anyone has for this story feel free to let me know 
> 
> Thanks again, 
> 
> Lyna x


	6. Application

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Bucky get an offer they can't refuse, or can they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, sorry it's been a while. Uni is hectic, I have so much writing to do!
> 
> I hope you like this chapter, tell me what you think. I hope Loki is coming across dry and sarcastic, because he sounds it in my head :D
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Lyna x
> 
> P.S. Who's seen Ragnarok? It's amazing !

Loki shot forwards, gasping for air as any trace of sleep escaped him. It was a dream, just a dream. He pulled his knees closer and took another breath. Trying to calm himself down. He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair, pushing the duvet off of his legs.

With one fluid movement he shifted into the form of the black cat and leapt to the floor. Loki padded over to the door, waiting a moment as JARVIS opened it for him. He then trotted down the corridor to Bucky's room. He was much more coordinated then the last time he'd had a nightmare, managing o find his way through the corridor without falling down any stairs.

By the time Loki got to Bucky's room JARVIS had already opened the door for him. Loki slipped inside only to see that Bucky was curled up asleep. JARVIS shut the door quietly and Loki jumped up onto the bed. He stepped carefully over Bucky's leg before approaching his face. Loki nudged Bucky's face with his nose.

Bucky was a light sleeper, immediately he opened his eyes. Loki meowed. Bucky reached out and stroked Loki's ears.

"Kotyenok? You okay?"

"I had a nightmare"

Loki replied, using magic in order in to talk to James in his head. Bucky propped himself up on his elbow, looking at Loki.

"So you can talk in this form?"

"Not really, I can project my voice into your mind. I can only do it if the individual trusts me. You didn't trust me before. So I couldn't do it." Loki purred, not really feeling the urge to go into depths about the ethics of magic right now. He nudged Bucky's arm out of the way so he could lie down.

"Weird" Bucky sighed "You staying here then?" He wrapped and arm around Loki's fluffy body, cuddling him close as he started drifting off bad to sleep. Loki purred softly as he too went to sleep.

* * *

 

The next day both Bucky and Loki were sat in the living room on the sofa. Bucky had his laptop resting on his knees as he and Loki looked at the screen. Bucky was showing Loki the pictures he had taken on their night out together. Loki was transfixed by the images.

Of course he knew what a photograph was; he had visited Midgard many times in the past. But on Asgard they didn't exist. Paintings were often used for capturing the memory of a loved one or scene, or they were preserved by magic, there was no need for photographs.

Bucky smiled as he watched Loki, he too had been amazed when he discovered the advancements made in photography when he had woken up. He'd had a basic understanding of a lot of technology thanks to his work as the Winter Soldier, but he hadn't had a close up look until he had moved in to the Avenger's tower.

"You should print these off James, frame them and put them on the walls" Loki said, gesturing to the plain white walls that "decorated" the tower.

"I don't think anyone else would be interested in them" Bucky shrugged, skipping to the next picture.

"Nonsense, they are art James, they are wonderful. I know for a fact that you have one of Steven's drawings on your wall in your room, why would you think that the others would not appreciate your work?"

"I don't know," Bucky shrugged again, turning to look at Loki "I've only ever taken pictures for myself; you're the first person I've ever shown them too. Except that time Tony managed to sneak a peek- but that wasn't my decision"

"Well I think they are very good" Loki smiled

"Thanks Kotyenok" Bucky returned the smile before they both turned back to the laptop, Bucky skipping to the next one.

In front of them the elevator dinged, neither man bothered to look up, assuming it was one of the Avengers. However, the heavy footed strides that clearly belonged to none of the Avengers made them both look up.

Neither of them really knew how to react when they saw the intruder was none other than Fury. Relief, that it wasn't a serial killer here to murder them. But at the same time dread, this was Fury after all.

"Ah, the two people I was here to see" Fury stated upon approaching. Bucky shut the lid of his laptop but neither God nor Soldier moved to stand.

"To what do we owe the pleasure Nicholas?" Loki drawled

"Since when are we on a first names basis?" Fury retorted scowling.

"Ever since you forced me into my Jotun form." Loki replied quickly "I've taken your name as recompense for my poor treatment"

"Oh I'm sorry Rumpelstiltskin, were the snacks not to your liking?" Fury snapped

"Well now you mention it the chicken was a little dry" Bucky snorted at Loki's response, shaking his head slightly at the others blatant disregard for Fury, no man would ever act this way towards the Director (well maybe Stark) but then again Loki was not a man, he was a God.

"You are really making me regret the offer I'm going to make" Fury sighed

"Then do not make it" Loki shrugged "It matters not to I"

"I want you two to join SHIELD." Fury spat through gritted teeth. Both Loki and Bucky looked at each other in shock, never expecting that from the Director.

"I am sorry; English is regretfully not my first language. May you repeat that?" Loki asked, just to be sure

"I want the two of you to become SHIELD agents" Fury said, "Look, the pair of you have an amazing skill set and SHIELD would be stupid just to let you slip though our fingers. After this whole HYDRA thing we need as many good agents as we can get. With a little retraining and briefing you two would be perfect."

Both Bucky and Loki once again looked at each other.

"What would we have to do?" Bucky asked

"Well after briefing you'd be placed in a small group with a handler at first, just until you got settled within your role. After that you'd be paired up and sent on missions, similar to Nat and Clint. Normally you'd be partnered up with someone at the same skill level but as you two already have a trusted bond we'd keep you together. You'd either do missions together or on your own, depending on the mission" Fury explained

"What kind of missions?" Bucky asked

"Gathering Intel mainly, right now our main priority is taking down the remaining HYDRA bases, you would mostly be going to find these bases and taking down the smaller ones or working with others to take them down." Fury explained

"Can we have a few days to think about it?" Bucky asked

"I suppose" Fury shrugged in a nonchalant manner, "I'll come back in a couple of days. Let me know then" he said turning around and leaving the way he came.

"Well that was unexpected" Bucky stated once he had left.

"Aye, what do you think?" Loki sighed

"Steve has been trying to get me to do some work for SHIELD but I've been reluctant. I don't want to be someone's weapon. I don't want to be used, like HYDRA used me. I do want to help people. And I think that if I help take down the remaining HYDRA bases then I'll know for sure they can never hurt me again." Bucky explained

"There's a book..." he started before trailing off.

"A book?" Loki asked

"Yeah. A little red book with a star on the front. It has everything about me in there" Bucky sighed "It has my trigger words. Key dates in my training, all sorts about my coding. Maybe there is even stuff in there about decoding. I don't know. I think HYDRA may still have it somewhere. Maybe I can look for it with SHIELDs help"

"They have my sceptre too. Not that I particularly want that infernal device back, but it's dangerous in the wrong hands. And they are most definitely the wrong hands." Loki replied

"Maybe we could work for SHIELD for a short while. Until HYDRA has been taken down or something like that. Tell Fury that we want the right to withdraw from their service at any time. That if we want to we'll stay on afterwards, if not we don't have to"

"That does sound like a good plan." Loki agreed

"And you did say you wanted a job" Bucky pointed out

"As did you" Loki stated "Maybe we should talk to the others though. Especially Natasha and the Hawk. They'll know exactly what we'll be getting ourselves into."

"Good point. We should." Bucky nodded, "We can talk to them at dinner tonight, Steve wants us to all have a family meal. To celebrate you being here and free"

"Do I have to?" Loki whined "I hate group things. And things that are about me. Can't I just be a cat the whole time?"

"No. I demand that you be Loki for this event. Not Kotyenok." Bucky laughed lightly, Loki smiled

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. Thor came down, he found out my birth name"

"That's good, what is it?"

"Loptr." Loki replied

"Nice name"

"Thank you, not only that I was apparently not abandoned. Just left in a temple and stolen by an old man who thought he was saving my life, if that doesn't make my life any less confusing."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"There's nothing much I can do right now, despite the relaxed manner of my banishment I am still banished. Maybe afterwards I will seek my family out. But for now there are more pressing things to sort out"

* * *

 

Later on the Avenger's gathered in the dining room, Steve had ordered an abundance of different types of pizza and now everyone was sat around the table chatting happily. Once again Loki was sat in between James and Anthony, on James' other side Steve was also sat.

"Loki and I have something we wanted to talk about with you guys" Bucky started

"Fire away" Steve replied

"Well, erm, Fury came to us today and he offered us a job" he stated "He said he wants us to help take down Hydra"

"What?" Steve exclaimed, folding up his serviette and throwing it on the table in anger "How dare he? He promised he'd leave you alone. He said that once you'd done all of those stupid tests you would be left alone"

"I think it's a good idea" Natasha interrupted

"What?" Steve repeated

"Look it gives them both a job, a purpose. Something to do instead of sitting around all day. They will get to use their skills for good Steve. If they want to do it I don't see why they shouldn't"

"The field is dangerous, anything could happen. What if they use him just like Hydra did?"

"Steve am I used like that? Is Clint?" Clint shook his head "We always have a choice when it comes to missions, we don't have to do something if we really don't want to. And anyway they won't be as high a level as Clint and I. They'll be with an SO, they'll have regular psych evals, they'll be fine" Natasha explained

"What do you guys want to do?" Tony asked, turning to address the pair,

"Well we were thinking that it was a good idea," Bucky mumbled "A large part of my issues is the fact that HYDRA is still active, that I'm helpless in the fight against them. At least this way I'll be actively fighting against them."

"I too believe that working for SHIELD will be beneficial for us." Loki agreed "We are both looking for a fresh start, for a chance to do good. I think that this is the perfect opportunity for us to do so"

"And do you both feel well enough to do something like that, like mentally?" Tony asked

"I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow; I'll talk to her then." Bucky stated "Loki, you're welcome to come with me. See if something like that will be beneficial for you. I know you have a different way of dealing with things on Asgard."

"I will come, the majority of my issues seem to have resolved themselves, or at least have begun to. The only major concerning one is the Chitauri and Thanos' torture. Then again it is not the first, nor do I believe the last time I will be tortured." Loki shrugged

"You're kidding right?" Clint asked, dropping a slice of pizza on his plate,

"No." Loki said bluntly "Asgard has a different judicial system than Midgard. Imagine the Viking judicial system and you pretty much have ours"

"So like flogging and bits chopped off and execution?" Tony asked

"Aye" Loki nodded "And I have always been a troublemaker Anthony, punishments often followed my misdeeds. I will, however, admit that everything I have experienced in the past never got to the level of torture I received under Thanos. The most traumatic thing that happened to me in Asgard was having my lips sewn shut, and that was really my fault"

Silence fell across the table; the others were amazed. One for the punishments Loki described and two because of the nonchalant way he delivered the news.

"Do you need a hug?" Bruce asked, breaking the silence. Loki smiled softly at the man,

"Thank you for the offer Bruce, but I fear I am all cuddled out. James wouldn't let me go last night" Loki teased

"Oh yeah, because I'm the one that woke you up in the middle of the night, in the form of a cat, asking for a cuddle and fell asleep in your bed" Bucky exclaimed sarcastically

"I'm glad you can admit your weaknesses James, well done" Loki retorted. "I was honestly becoming concerned" Bucky snorted before shoving Loki playfully with his metal arm. Unbeknownst to them the Avengers smiled, glad to see that their two newest members of their family were getting along.

"Look, if you both really want to do this then I won't stand in your way, but if Fury or anyone else mistreats either of you then I want you to come to me or one of the others so we can sort them out. I want you to be safe and if you feel like it's too much pull out, okay?" Steve asked.

He knew that his controlling behaviour was making Bucky pull away from him. He knew that Bucky needed to do things on his own to get better. He knew that his friendship with Loki was helping him get better. Also, deep down, he knew that Bucky wasn't his anymore, but he wasn't quite ready to admit that.

"Thank you Steve, I feel like I need to at least try" Bucky smiled softly to his old friend, Steve returned the smile.

"Aye, this is something I need to do too. I feel like being a spy will work out well for me. I've always been known as the one in the shadows, the one that is always somewhere he shouldn't be. I believe that maybe this job will be my calling in life" Loki smirked

"I'm sure it will be Reindeer Games, plus if it doesn't work out, you'd make a killing at being as street magician."

* * *

 

"Hello Bucky" Dr Davis smiled as he walked into her office, Loki followed behind him, shutting the door carefully so it only made a tiny click as it closed. "Who's this?"

"This is Loki," Bucky gestured to Loki, sitting in one of the armchairs opposite from Dr Davis, Loki offered out his hand to the Dr.

"Pleasure to meet you" Loki smiled, charming bastard, Dr Davis took Loki's hand shaking it softly.

"Bucky has spoken about you in his last few sessions" she replied before turning back to Bucky "How have you been this week?"

"Good actually, I had a bad day a couple of days ago, but me and Loki went to the park, he helped me relax" Loki smiled at Bucky's admission, of course Bucky was looking at Dr Davis so he didn't see. Loki was glad he managed to have some positive effect on Bucky.

"Unfortunately Steve and the others found out that I'd been sneaking out. So did Fury. But they've been okay with it mostly. Fury made Loki and I do some tests. Physical fitness and stuff like that. And now he'd offered us both a job within SHIELD" Bucky stated, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Have you accepted the job?"

"Not yet, we asked for a couple of days to think about it, we wanted to talk to the others. The Avengers. But they all seem supportive. Steve was cautious at first but he's ok with it now. What do you think?"

"As a professional I would say it's a risky move. On one hand, you are better than you've ever been, you are forming bonds with people, becoming attached, integrating into society quiet well. If it were any "normal" job I would tell you to go for it" Dr Davis said

"But it's SHIELD, it is not a normal job. As a SHIELD appointed therapist I see a lot of after effects of these missions and it's horrible. Some of the things people have been through, it breaks them. But then again you have been through more than anybody else I've seen. It's difficult" she sighed

"So you don't think I should do it?" Bucky asked quietly, Loki frowned

"If this is something you want to do and you feel you can handle go for it. I can advise Fury to put you on a probationary placement. I'll see you after every mission instead of you being debriefed normally, if you are struggling I'll pull you out, if not you can stay"

Bucky turned to Loki and smiled properly this time, Loki returned the smile without a moment's hesitation.

"Obviously I have no professional opinion on you Mister..."

"Odinson"

"Mr Odinson, I would have to have several sessions with you before I could recommend whether or not you should join SHIELD or not" Dr Davis said

"That's alright; I am merely here for James." Loki replied, Bucky frowned slightly, he had hoped Loki would open up a bit to his therapist. Maybe decide to have sessions, but he could tell just by looking at Loki that he didn't want to talk to the woman.

Dr Davis on the other hand was surprised; Bucky never let anyone call him James. She had made the mistake once or twice and had been greeted by the sight of a rather annoyed client. Even Steve, his childhood friend didn't call him by his real name. So why was Loki allowed to?

"Is there anything else you want to talk about then?" Dr Davis smiled at Bucky encouragingly, but he couldn't think of anything he wanted to talk about, he'd been venting to Loki mostly over the past couple of days and didn't feel the need to talk about anything else.

"No, not really." He stated with a shrug

"Okay then," She said still smiling as she stood, "I'll see you in a couple of weeks then"

Both Bucky and Loki stood up as well, Bucky shook Dr Davis' outstretched hand. The pair walked out of the therapist's office and onto the street below.

"So not your thing then?" Bucky asked as soon as they were outside

"What do you mean?"

"Well you clearly don't want to speak to a therapist. I thought you'd at least be more open to the idea" Bucky scowled slightly as they began walking towards the Avengers tower

"James," Loki started "I do not think that it would help me. On Asgard we have healers, for the body and the mind, but they've never helped me before."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bucky snapped, Loki sighed, coming to a halt. Bucky took a few steps before realising and stopping too.

"I don't trust people James. In my life I have been to several mind healers, but I never trusted them. I would lie to them and I wasn't called the God of Lies because of a few fibs. I know how to make people believe in anything I want them to. I would make them believe I was okay."

"I don't trust them, especially not with my darkest moments. It was so hard for me to talk about it in court. I don't think I could do it again. I mean no offence, but a lot of what I have been through falls beyond human comprehension. I don't want to explain it all to someone who will not understand."

"The Avengers are different, you are different. You've been through torture, you understand" Loki finished quietly.

"I'm sorry" Bucky stated "I didn't mean to snap. I'm tired and grumpy"

"It's alright" Loki smiled softly. The pair were silent for a few moments as they began walking again, Bucky was scared that he had upset Loki, despite the others words. He wracked his brain, trying to figure out what to say, but Loki beat him to it.

"Do you want to walk through the park?" he asked, Bucky smiled and nodded. They altered their path accordingly and walked through the park. They followed the river, watching as a girl with bird food encouraged pigeons to land on her. Loki laughed at the sight whilst Bucky winced, worried about the health concerns.

Alongside the river there were some steps down towards the water leading to a concrete platform designed for feeding the ducks. Loki walked off of the path, down several of the steps before sitting down on them. Staring out at the swans swimming in the river. Bucky shortly joined him, sighing as he sat down on the cold stone.

"What you thinking about?" Bucky asked

"Nothing really, it's silly"

"Nothing's silly if it's bothering you" Bucky encouraged

"I miss my mother" Loki sighed "I want to make her proud. But I don't know whether the choices I'm making would do that. There was that time when she came to me in my sleep, but she hasn't since. I know she's dead, and I know I don't understand the realms of death."

"I don't know whether she can talk to me again. I don't understand how Valhalla works. But I just want a sign. From Frigga, or Odin. A sign that I'm doing the right thing. Odin wants me to redeem myself, like Thor did. But am I doing the right thing?"

"I think you are" Bucky stated "You're doing good; you're going to help people. HYDRA are clearly the bad guys in this situation. In what way would you not be doing the right thing? Thor works for SHIELD, alright as an Avenger not an agent, but he is still deemed worthy of Asgard,"

"Yes, but he's Thor. He had Mjolnir when he was banished. Not literally of course, but that was how he knew. As soon as he could hold her again he knew he was worthy once more. What do I have? Is Odin going to send me a raven one day with a note on its foot saying "congratulations"?" Loki countered

"You like it here, don't you?" Bucky asked

"Yes, of course"

"Then what is the problem? You told me to stop worrying about my past because it was out of my control. Odin's judgement of you is out of yours. Yes your actions determine what Odin has to judge but you can't alter his perceptions. Joining SHIELD means joining the good guys. There is nothing wrong with that. So stop worrying and live your life.

Odin will let you back to Asgard eventually. And then you'll be stuck there, like Thor, doing all of your princely duties and you won't have time for me and the Avengers. Enjoy us while you can" Bucky stated, smiling at Loki.

"I guess you're right. Father seems to be on SHIELD's side, as does Thor. There is no negative to joining SHIELD in regards to my banishment. I will join, and work hard. I know my Mother would be proud of me, and maybe my Father will be too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, just a couple of questions for you guys about the progression of this story.
> 
> 1\. Loki and Bucky's team/SO- It's up to you guys whether Loki and Bucky join Coulson's team from AOS. It wouldn't be strongly linked to the show (I kinda stoped watching after FitzSimmons slept together because it could only go downhill from there) If you don't want that I can have a team of OC's from them to join. It's really just a matter of whether you want more familiar faces in this fic.
> 
> 2\. It's a weird one. As I have stated previously, in this fic Loki's goal in life is to have a happy family excetera. How would you feel about him becoming pregnat. Obviously it will be a loooooong way off yet. I would either have him in his female form or his intersex Jotun form, so it wouldn't be that weird. Again if I get more no's than yes's I won't include it but I feel like I will have failed Loki if I don't make him happy :( I could always make a oneshot or sequel after featuring it if the divide is clear.
> 
> Let me know what you think, I need an answer to 1. for the next chapter.
> 
> Also don't worry. Bucky will get his puppy soon.
> 
> Tell me what you think,
> 
> Lyna x


	7. New Puppy. New Friends. New Enemy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys,
> 
> Thank you for all of your responses to my last questions. If you've looked at the updated tags you will know that the OC team won, I hope you like them, I'll talk a bit more about them in the end notes after you've met them. As for the pregnant Loki one that is still up for debate so if you do/don't want it make sure to tell me.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter
> 
> Lyna x

A few days later most of the Avengers were sat in the common room. Bruce was sat in an arm chair reading, Steve was sat on the sofa, sketching the New York skyline, visible from the window. Sam was sat next to him, playing a game on his phone while Natasha and Clint played chess across the room. They all sat quietly, chatting occasionally when things came to mind but none feeling the need to talk.

That silence was all too soon shattered.

Tony burst into the room, walking confidently, as only he would, straight to the coffee machine. All of the others looked up at his entrance. Clint used the distraction to move one of his pieces in an illegal way that Natasha somehow didn't spot when she turned back around.

"Hey, do any of you know when Loki is gonna be back? J said he'd gone out with Bucky but I kinda need him for something" Tony asked as he poured himself some coffee.

"They went to Fury to accept his offer." Steve replied "So they'll be however long Fury wants them, you know how he is"

"Is it important?" Bruce asked

"Is what important?" Tony replied

"The reason you need Loki?" Bruce sighed, Tony's mind worked a mile a minute, it tended to wander and lose it's place in a conversation

"Oh, no. I just wanted to ask him some questions about his magic... And to ask him if there is a way for the Bifrost not to leave indentations all over my Tower"

"Well I'm sure you can ask him later, he rather likes talking about his magic" Bruce stated

"Really, has he spoken to you?"

"In passing, more to Bucky I think. A couple of times I've seen them sat together talking about it. It's a rather large part of his life; he would want to talk about it." Bruce shrugged

"Does anyone else notice how they're glued at the hip?" Tony asked "I mean Bucky hardly talks to anyone but Loki and Steve, and Loki only really speaks when spoken to. Except when they're with each other, then you can't shut them up"

"I think they both needed a friend Tony, they are both going through similar things at the same time, they're going to be drawn to one another." Natasha replied

"Bucky's wary of you Tony because you're loud. You scare him. Nat and Clint make him uneasy because of how sneaky they can be." Steve stated "He likes Bruce but doesn't have much to say to him and Sam, you two kind of don't get along."

"It's not my fault! He broke my wings, I'm allowed to be pissed" Sam interrupted "That doesn't mean I hate him" Steve smiled lightly at Sam before continuing

"Bucky always liked science. I remember him always dragging me to Howard's shows" Tony snorted, but Steve ignored him "Magic is a different kind of science and Bucky loves it."

Natasha and Clint looked at each other and smirked, Bruce caught their look, frowning in confusion, prompting Natasha to speak.

"2 months max before they're fucking each other" she smirked. Tony choked on his coffee, of course choosing the moment before to take a massive gulp.

"What?" he exclaimed when he'd recovered

"Look at how they act around each other; they're clearly attracted to each other. Whether they know it themselves yet remains to be seen" Clint replied "We're trained to spot these things."

"But they're not gay..." Tony trailed off

"From what Thor says Loki's never been bothered by gender. He's apparently taken numerous lovers, both male and female. And has the tendency to shift his own gender. So no, Loki's not gay. I'd say he's pan or something. Thor said Asgard doesn't define sexuality."

"Oh, well that's nice and forward of them." Tony replied

"And Bucky's bisexual" Steve added "Of course he was very discreet about it back in the 40's but that's because it was illegal. But I was his best friend, he told me everything. I doubt the HYDRA conditioning would have altered his sexuality."

"Ok, never mind. Two months it is then" Tony laughed, taking another drink of his coffee, this time a sip; he'd learnt his lesson the hard way.

"I bet you it's one" Clint said to Natasha

"How much are you willing to bet Clint, we both know you have a poor track record?"

"$100?"

"Deal"

* * *

 

After telling Fury that they would accept his offer Loki and Bucky were told they'd have to wait a couple of days, possibly weeks, whilst Fury found them a suitable team to join. So during that time they began training again. With Steve's help they located the gym of Avenger's tower and began to spar. Steve often joined in, along with Natasha when she herself wasn't on missions.

Clint often observed when they trained, or he was in the firing range in the corner, "practicing" with his bow. The fact that he could intently watch Steve and Bucky fight whilst repeatedly hitting the bull's-eye on the target suggested he didn't really need to practice.

That's what they were doing now, a few weeks later. Loki and Natasha were sparring. Steve and Sam sat sweaty on the bench, next to Bucky and Tony (who was doing minor repairs to Bucky's arm after Steve hit it too hard with his shield). Clint was in the firing range with Bruce, trying to teach him how to shoot, despite Bruce arguing that if he was in danger he'd Hulk out, not fire a gun.

Loki and Natasha were not using any weapons or magic, focusing on hand-to-hand. Both were pulling their punches. Natasha knew she couldn't really hurt the God, but she didn't want to hurt her hands.

They were a mixture of attacks and blocks, the onlookers struggled to tell the pair apart, they moved that quickly. Loki lunged for Natasha, but the assassin blocked him just in time to avoid a black eye. She pushed him back, but he went for her stomach, hitting her as softly as he could, but still knocking her back. She remained on her feet, however, and prepared herself for his next move, but it never came.

He had frozen, just for a moment, looking down in deep concentration. Taking her chance Natasha lunged at him, pushing his torso backwards as she swept his legs out from beneath him. He fell backwards with a huff, hitting the floor hard. He lay there for a second before laughing.

"Come on Odinson? You giving up that easily?" Natasha laughed

"The Bifrost is opening above the Tower" Loki replied, still on his back. Tony who had long since finished his work on Bucky's arm, picked up.

"Wait. You can sense when the Bifrost is coming?"

"It's magic. The visible Bifrost is not the first connection made. Strands of magic layout the journey, making sure the travel is uninterrupted and possible before the Bifrost actually arrives" Loki explained, everyone had stopped what they were doing and now surrounded Loki's fallen form. Bucky reached down, hand out. Loki took it and was pulled to his feet.

"That is awesome. You have to teach me how to scan for that." Tony replied excitedly

"Very well, I shall do so later." Loki replied, dusting off his sweatpants like they were expensive dress clothes.

A large vibration went through the tower, making the window's shake in their frames and shelves rattle.

"Sir, the older Mr Odinson has arrived, he has requested to meet with his brother and Bucky in the common room." JARVIS announced

"Thanks Buddy. Come on then, let's go see the big fella. It's been months since we've all seen him. Especially since he left without saying hi last time" Tony said

The group made their way to the elevator and in a matter of minutes they were in the common room. Standing in the middle of the room with his back to the elevator was Thor; he turned around when he heard the ding of the elevator. His face lit up when he saw his brother.

Bucky's eyes however went straight to the little bundle in Thor's arms. A small puppy that strongly resemble a wolf. Its brownish grey fur was fluffy and light, sticking up at all angles. The puppy squirmed and barked in Thor's arms.

"Bucky, I have brought you your puppy" Thor smiled, holding out the puppy to James, who smiled immediately. He stepped forwards and took the puppy from the God of Thunder. "She was the strongest of the litter. She bit Tyr when he got too close Brother. Fandral thought you would approve."

Bucky cradled the puppy to his chest, cooing softly to the dog. Loki smiled and reached out to stoke the puppy's triangular ears.

"Aye, little warrior. Fenrir would have liked you little one" Loki said quietly. The puppy barked and nipped Loki's fingers, Loki laughed again, pulling his fingers away, checking that the dog hadn't drawn blood. "Fenrir did that too"

"Aye, she does like to bite." Thor agreed, "Look what she's done to my cape" He pulled part off his cape over his shoulder to reveal multiple holes chewed into his cape. "I only held her from the palace to the Bifrost"

"Naughty Puppy" Bucky scolded lightly, the puppy licked Bucky's face in response. Everyone laughed at the squeak Bucky let out in shock.

"Does she have a name?" Clint asked

"I have a few ideas, I want to see what suits her first" Bucky replied

"Good plan" Natasha stated, looking around Bucky's large form to see the puppy.

"How long are you staying Pointbreak?" Tony asked

"I must leave immediately my friends, that is what I wished to speak to my brother about. Father has fallen into the Odinsleep" Loki dropped his hand away from the puppy and looked at his brother, shocked.

"Will he be okay?" he asked, voice full of panic

"Eir says he will be fine. He just needs a rest. I am King of Asgard now; Uncle Vili and Ve are helping me to rule. I will come back at tell you when he wakes. Eir does not believe he will be asleep for long."

"Very well Brother." Loki nodded. Thor took several steps towards Loki and pulled him closer, hugging him close

"All will be well Lítt Ein" Thor whisper "I love you, Little Brother"

"Love you too" Loki mumbled, Thor pulled away, smiling. Loki returned the smile.

Thor then made his way back to the roof, Steve and Tony went with him (asking him about the Bifrost as he went, Loki hadn't given him a clear answer) and the other Avengers dispersed. Loki and Bucky were left in the common room with the puppy.

"She's perfect" Bucky murmured, stroking her softly.

"Aye, she is a fine creature" Loki stated "Do you have everything you need for her?"

"Yeah, I bought it all in advance." Bucky replied "I want to take her to my room, so she can make herself at home."

* * *

 

Later that evening, after spending several hours with Anthony, explaining more magic to him, Loki was sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen reading, empty soup bowl in front of him. He had spent the several weeks since Thor's previous visit studying the book Thor had given him. It was written in the language of Jotunheim, one that Loki was not overly familiar with, so it had taken him a while to figure it out. Allspeak did not exactly help when it came to the written word.

Luckily one of the books he had taken from Asgard was about the languages of the Nine Realms, basic information of course, to cover them all. But it was enough to help Loki translate the book, even if he had to do it letter by letter.

At that moment he was reading again about his markings. Like he and Bucky had thought they each had a different meaning. For example, the inner circle on his forehead symbolised he was a descendant of Ymir, the first Frost Giant. The outer circle meant he was either in line for the crown of Jotunheim, or it's King.

Loki supposed that as Laufey and Farbauti's first born he was the rightful King of Jotunheim, but that was a can of worms he really didn't want to open right now. Other lines on his skin meant he was a mage and that he was a warrior. Some signified triumph in battle, others were just scars.

"Master Loki?" JARVIS called out, disrupted Loki from his reading

"Yes JARVIS"

"Bucky is requesting your presence in his room Sir" the AI responded, Loki nodded. With a wave of his hand his book was back in his room and his bowl and spoon were put away clean.

"Hey, no fair" Clint whined from a few spaces away, where his own bowl sat. With a role of his eyes Loki sorted Clint's bowl out too. Clint smiled "I'm glad we kept you"

Loki snorted as he stood up.

"I'm sure you are Clint" he sighed before turning and walking out of the room

"Thank you" Clint shouted after him, Loki just laughed. Instead of using the elevator Loki teleported to just outside of Bucky's room, knocking on the door. Bucky called out to him, letting him enter.

When he did Loki was greeted by the sight of James on the floor, next to the puppy and a bowl of dog food. James looked worried as he stoked the puppy's head, but she sat still, obliviously wagging her tail.

"What's wrong?" Loki asked, sitting on the floor next to Bucky

"She won't eat, I'm worried about her" Bucky frowned, "She's been okay all day, she's played and slept, she knows where the training pads are, but now she won't eat."

"She's probably just overwhelmed" Loki said simply, reaching out to stroke the puppy too. Who turned around and ran at Loki, jumping up on to his lap and trying to lick his face. "She's a long way from home; she probably misses her mother and litter mates"

"I guess" Bucky replied, watching the puppy as she stopped trying to lick Loki and instead curled up in his lap.

"That and it's most likely the food. She's only recently been weaned but the solid food she would have been eating on Asgard would have been proper meat, not whatever Midgardians feed dogs." Loki explained "She might not understand that it's food. Or she might not be hungry."

"I just don't want her to get sick" Bucky sighed

"She's only been here a couple of hours James, I doubt even you could kill her in that amount of time. And remember, she's not just a dog. She's and Asgardian dog. She's tougher than she looks"

"So she's a god dog?" Bucky laughed softly

"Why yes" Loki smiled down at the puppy, who was for some reason licking his arm. "Does she have a name yet?"

"Yeah, Anastasia, Stasia for short. It means reborn. I thought it was fitting, like maybe she's Fenrir reborn. You kept saying how similar they were after knowing her for five minutes."Bucky stated "That and Anastasia was a Russian Princess, the only one believed to have survived the murders of the royal family"

"Well a fitting name for a beautiful dog. No doubt she will be spoilt rotten, and treated like a princess. And yes, she is very much like Fen"

Bucky sighed again; he leaned to the side and rested his head on Loki's shoulder.

"Thank you" he murmured

"For what?"

"Everything. Coming straight away when I was just being over cautious. For getting Fandral to give me a puppy. Without you I wouldn't have one" Bucky stated "To be honest, without you I'd still be miserable and hiding in my room away from everyone. Now I have a dog, friends and job. All because of you"

"Nonsense, you would have made friends without me. And getting a dog would have been easy. Steven would do anything for you if you asked." Loki dismissed

"Actually that was the problem. You being here has helped him understand that I need space. That he needed to back off a little. He's stopped treating me like a child that needs looking after. You being around me has helped him see that I can stand on my own two feet" Bucky explained

"Well then, you're welcome" Loki smiled

* * *

 

A few days later everyone was in the common room; drinking tea and coffee, chatting about unimportant things, teasing Steve about whether or not he liked Sharon. Bucky and Loki were sat on the floor whilst everyone else took up the seats available.

They were throwing a little red ball between them, encouraging Stasia to chase it. She would run back and forth, jumping in the air in an attempt to catch it, but she couldn't jump high enough yet. She was running back towards Bucky when she tripped over her too big paws and fell onto her front.

Immediately the little puppy began to whimper, almost like she was crying. Bucky gasped and automatically picked Stasia up, cradling her to his chest. Loki sent his magic out, scanning the body of the puppy, making sure she wasn't hurt.

"It's okay Sweetie" Bucky murmured, "its okay"

"She's not hurt, she just wants a cuddle" Loki stated, shuffling closer to Bucky and Stasia.

"Well she's getting one" Bucky replied

"Weren't you getting enough attention Stasia?" Clint laughed, Stasia barked at him making everyone laugh.

"Forgive the interruption, but Director Fury on the line. He wants Loki and Bucky to go to the New York SHIELD Headquarters to meet their new team. There is a car waiting for them outside" JARVIS announced

"Thank you JARVIS" Loki replied, standing up.

"I don't want to leave her" Bucky replied, cuddling Stasia again. "This must be what new parents feel like when they have to go back to work" Everyone laughed again.

"We'll look after her Bucky" Natasha promised

"Yeah, we can play with her and wear her out so she won't even know you're not here" Steve added. Bucky picked Stasia up and held her out facing himself.

"You be good now Anastasia. Uncle Steve is going to look after you, so be a good girl" Stasia licked Bucky's nose, making him smile before he put her down. Loki held a hand out for Bucky and helped him up.

With one last look at his puppy, who had been scooped up by Sam and was enjoying a cuddle, before leaving the Tower.

* * *

 

As soon as they got to the SHIELD base they were met by Fury and were led to a conference room. Fury told them that he had found them a team to join and that they were on their way to meet them. They were also told that they had been granted Level 7 clearance, the same as all the Avengers.

When they got to the conference room they were greeted by five other people. Their new team consisted of two field agents, two scientists and one technical analyst. Loki and Bucky would be the two other field agents that would make up a proper team.

They were first introduced to the leader of the team Agent Bree Arnold, a 42 year old Irish woman with long ginger hair, pale skin covered in freckles and bright blue eyes. She was a slim and muscular woman and was of an average height.

The second member of the team was Agent Mia Pittman, a 35 year old Latina woman with wavy black hair and warm brown eyes. She was clearly athletic and muscular. She smiled at Bucky and Loki, immediately making the pair feel welcome.

Next they were introduced to the scientists of the team. Firstly there was Dr Makena Ikande, a 24 year old African Biochemist. Fury listed doctorates in several different fields, clearly indicating the woman's intelligence. Her black hair was shaved at the sides of her scalp, leaving a quiff at the top. She had dark brown eyes, her eyelids were covered in gold eye shadow and she wore bright pink lipstick.

The second scientist was a Native American woman, Dr Tala Fendall. She was a 26 year old Engineer. She too had numerous doctorates, seemingly a well suited lab partner to Makena. Tala had bobbed black hair and dark brown eyes that were framed in heavy black eyeliner.

The last person Loki and Bucky were introduced to was Agent Asten Koura, he was 30 years old and a technical analyst and hacker. He was of Egyptian descent and extremely muscular. He was over 6 foot tall and immediately reminded Loki of his old friend Set. He had short brown hair and beard with ice blue eyes.

"I suggest you all get to know each other and practice with one another. As of now you are a team available for missions. Barnes, Odinson; Arnold will be your SO. You have any problems, you go to her. Got it?"

"Yes Sir" Both Loki and Bucky replied

"Good" Fury said before turning and stalking out of the room, leaving the new team alone.

"So its Loki and James, right?" Bree asked; checking their details from a file Fury had given her, presumably full of all their test results

"I prefer Bucky" Bucky replied quickly, Bree cocked her head to the side

"How do you get Bucky from James?"

"It's my middle name; Buchanan" Bree nodded, turning the page in the file. Loki scowled at the woman, but she didn't see. Bucky didn't noticeably pick up on the woman's hostile attitude but Loki did, he knew that their names would be on the paper in front of her. He knew it would have listed Bucky as the other's preferred name.

"Alright then, we're going to move over to the gym. I want to see how you guys fight. I'll pair you up against Mia and myself." Bree stated, shutting the file "Does your arm restrict you in anyway?"

"Sometimes I don't know how much pressure I'm putting on things, but physically no" Bucky replied

"I bet it packs quite a punch" Mia smiled, "I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that" Bucky returned the smile, Loki immediately preferred the other woman.

"You won't have to" Bree stated "At least not today, you're with Loki. I'm with Bucky"

Loki turned and looked at Bucky; he saw a flicker of a frown before Bucky covered it up with a forced smile.

So, Bucky had picked up on the woman's hostility, Loki thought, not that it was hard. Loki wondered what her problem was. Bucky was a sweet man who had done nothing to offend Bree, he decided he'd have to keep an eye on her from now on.

"Alright, let's head to the gym." Bree stated, walking out of the conference room. Loki was going to walk up to Bucky and check he was alright, however Mia got to him first; linking their arms together in a friendly way and leading him out the room, leaving Loki, Makena, Tala and Asten to follow.

"What's her problem?" Loki asked the group as they walked

"Bree's?" Makena started "I don't know, we haven't been a team all that long. Just since the whole HYDRA thing. She's a bit hostile at first; I don't think she trusts easy"

"She'll probably loosen up in a couple of days. She was like it to all of us at first, but she's nice to us now" Tala added

"Mia will have a word with her if not." Asten agreed "She's like the mom friend of the team, automatically wants to protect anyone new. I'm sure you and Bucky will fit right in"

"I'm glad you think so" Loki stated

"Just so you know, she'll probably try and use New York against you. We've all read the files and stuff, we know you were innocent. But she'll try and wind you up, see if you'll lash out or act appropriately" Tala warned "She tried it with all of us"

"Not about New York though" Asten laughed "Our own pasts"

"Really?" Loki asked

"Yeah, for example, I used to be an analyst for the CIA before SHIELD offered me a job. I was recruited to the CIA because it was either that or go to Federal Prison for hacking into the CIA databases" Asten explained "Bree kept trying to test my loyalty and stuff. Like leaving passwords for things lying about, waiting to see if I'd try and use them. Questioning me about my intentions. Stuff like that"

"She sounds like a bitch" Loki scowled

"More like super paranoid" Makena disagreed "Now she loves Asten, treats him like a little brother. I think once you guys prove you're loyal to SHIELD then you'll be fine"

"Yeah, it also depends how you take it. I didn't really care that she kept bringing up my "criminal past" I'm kinda proud that I hacked into the CIA. It wasn't easy." Asten laughed

"Of course you'd think that" Tala smiled, "Come on, we're falling behind. I don't want to get Loki into trouble on his first day."

"Believe me darling, the day has just started, I'm bound to get into trouble. And I severely doubt that it will be any of your faults" Loki smirked

"Remember Tala, God of Mischief here. I don't think he needs our help" Makena laughed. The group did quicken their pace to catch up with the others, who hadn't noticed that they had fallen behind.

"So, will you three be sparring today?" Loki asked

"No" the three chorused

"Really, not even you?" Loki asked looking at Asten

"No, I know I look like I'd be useful, but it's all weight lifting, I assure you. Bree is trying to teach us all some self defence but it's not really for me."

"Yeah, Bree was thinking about training us in firearms, she believes that if the scientists were armed HYDRA would have been less successful." Makena added

"Because more guns would have improved that situation" Tala stated, Loki nodded in agreement, Bucky had told him about the "HYDRA incident" multiple times so Loki understood what had happened. More guns would not have improved the situation.

The group got to the gym, immediately Loki and Bucky were given black SHIELD workout uniforms and told to change. Which they did and they were soon partnered up with Mia and Bree respectively.

They were at different ends of the gym, with Makena, Tala and Asten sat in the middle observing. Mia was tasked with evaluating Loki's abilities and fighting style. She too had changed; into a black T-shirt and leggings, her long brown hair had been put up in a pony tail.

"You gonna be able to keep up with me?" She asked, smiling wide

"I can't make any promises, I'm the God of Mischief, not stamina" Loki retorted teasingly

"Ah, I did here Stark say you had some performance issues" she laughed, Loki laughed as well

"Now you know that's not what I meant"

"Sure it isn't" Mia winked, lunging for Loki. The God took a little step back and blocked Mia's strike, however the smaller woman was quicker than Loki expected, she hit Loki in the stomach before he had a chance to reposition himself.

It took Loki a minute of consistently blocking Mia's attacks before learning her pattern. He beat her rather easily after that. Once he pinned her to the ground she held her hands up in surrender, laughing once again.

"Well you're definitely a god" Loki smiled at her, standing up and holding a hand out to help her up. "Were you watching Asten? Do you think you can go against Loki?"

"No" the man squeaked. Makena and Tala laughed before Tala stood up.

"Come on then" she said to Loki "teach me something"

Loki looked over to where Bucky and Bree were still fighting. Concerned for his friend, however he was handling himself well and it looked like he was winning. Loki turned back around.

"Very well" Loki smiled at Tala.

Loki spent the next 30 minutes teaching Tala the basics of self defence, just as Bree had wanted to. After a few minutes Makena joined in. Mia helped him make corrections and by the time Bree called them to a close they both at least knew how to throw a punch.

"Alright hit the showers and meet in her as soon as possible" Bree stated, walking towards the female changing rooms. Mia, Makena and Tala followed. Bucky and Loki went towards the male, leaving Asten alone in the gym.

After showering quickly Loki and Bucky stood next to each other. Loki was completely dressed, plaiting his wet hair. Bucky was shirtless, tying his own hair into a bun. Bucky sniffed next to him as he finished his hair and pulled his shirt over his head.

"James..." Loki started, realising the other was crying.

"You know how Fury said if we had a problem with anything we go to Bree?" Bucky stated quickly

"Yes"

"Who do we go to if our problem is with Bree herself?" Bucky asked, wiping the rapidly growing tears away.

"What more has she said?"

"She kept going on about HYDRA. Calling me a traitor to my country. Talking about the people I've killed. She kept going for my shoulder as well" He gestured to his left shoulder, where his flesh joined with the metal. "I know it's my weakest spot but it fucking hurts Loki"

"Come here" Loki said simply, holding his arms out, inviting Bucky for a hug. Bucky immediately took up the offer, squeezing him tight. "I'll have a word with her, and if she's still being mean I'll talk to Fury"

"Are you sure, I don't want to get you into trouble" Bucky replied

"James, After Thanos Bree is nothing more than a thorn in your Kotyenok's paw" Loki said quietly, Bucky laughed softly.

"You're always sticking up for me" Bucky pulled back "You're like my knight in shining armour"

"Well it's definitely shiny" Loki smiled "Come on, let's go"

The two left the changing room and met the five others in the gym. They were all stood together, stances relaxed, except for Bree. Her arms were crossed and she was tapping her fingers against her arm.

"Good, you're here" Bree stated, uncrossing her arms. "I wanted to review your position with the group"

"Okay" Loki stated

"Mia says that you coped very well Loki, fighting with skill and talent, but I supposed that's suspected when you've had as many years to practice as you have"

"Aye"

"Bucky, you were slow and despite telling me your arm does not physically limit you it is your weakest place"

"He's going to be slow if you keep attacking him in the place where his skin has been welded to metal. There is a lot of sensitive scar tissue there; it's going to hurt a lot. If he kept hitting you in the shoulder you'd have trouble moving after a while" Loki scowled

"A real enemy would go for the weakest spot" Bree replied

"Yes but Bucky would have been able to use different tactics in a real fight" Mia interrupted "He likely wouldn't be completely unarmed and he would be able to use more aggressive means."

"That and my own armour has plates to provided extra protection and padding for my shoulder" Bucky stated, silently thanking Tony Stark for his incessant updates to his armour.

"I don't think that this exercise has taught you anything about our skill set" Loki pointed out "Bucky is skilled with firearms and you've completely over looked the fact that I have magic. I don't know what you're trying to prove with this, but for all our sakes I hope you've done"

"I needed to evaluate your hand to hand ability, to see what training you need to go under. I don't know what training either of you have had before; I can't put you in their field if I don't know what you can do"

"Fury has already approved us for the field" Loki retorted "So what's your real problem?"

"I can't put you into the field if I don't trust you. I need to know you inside out. I need to know you won't betray me" Bree snapped

"Why would you think that we would betray you?" Loki asked, Bree scoffed, she lifted the hem of her T-shirt revealing seven small scars

"Because my last team fucking did. Every single one of them was HYDRA. Every single one. I trusted them, we had been a team for three years, we had been through so much shit together. And then on that day my second in command shot me seven times, trying to kill me" Bree revealed. Mia and the others gasped at the wounds but Loki and Bucky didn't flinch, they both had worse.

"Judge us by our own actions, not by those of our predecessors. I have spent most of my life living in someone else's shadow, I'm finally free, don't put me in another one." Loki replied

"Out of all the people in this room I am the one who understands the horrors of HYDRA the most. They tortured me for 70 years; they made me kill innocent people, people I looked up to. Women and children as well as men. I would never work for them again." Bucky explained

"My whole reason for joining SHIELD was to try and undo some of the damage HYDRA had done, and to stop them once and for all. We have no reason to betray you, no reason to betray our friends at home" Bucky continued

Everyone looked at Bree, waiting to see what she did next. She looked at them one by one sighing. She brought both her hands up to her face and wiped it. She sighed again.

"Look, I'm sorry. Today's been a long day. Lets just all go home, have time to think and calm down. I'll be in touch" Bree stated, picking up her bag off the bench and walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry about her" Mia said, "Everything will get better soon. She's been through a lot and just need time."

"We all have our problems and personal issues." Loki agreed "But I will not tolerate her attacking Bucky over his. He doesn't deserve that"

"I know, it won't happen again, I'll talk to her" Mia nodded

"Thank you" Loki replied

"I guess we'll see you guys later then" Makena smiled softly

"See you later Makena" Bucky returned

* * *

 

Later on Loki and Bucky were in the common room, half watching some movie Tony had told them to watch. At that moment, however Loki couldn't tell you what the film was about. He and Bucky were on the sofa. Loki had his legs tucked up beside him; Bucky was lay on his legs, head resting in Loki's lap, asleep.

Stasia was asleep underneath Bucky's metal arm. Loki played with the hair that had fallen out of Bucky's bun absently as he tried to stay awake to no avail. The movement of somebody entering the room made Loki open his eyes.

Tony walked into the room, smiling at the pair when he saw them. Tony went to one of the cupboards and pulled out a packet of dried blueberries. Loki watched tiredly as he opened the packet, frowning at the noise.

"How's your new team?" Tony asked

"Pretty shit to be honest" Loki replied

"Really?"

"Well not really. Most of them are lovely, it's just one that seems to be a bit of a problem" Loki sighed, still playing with Bucky's hair "She has a problem with HYDRA, which is understandable, but that means she has a problem with James"

"Oh, is he okay?" Tony asked

"He will be, I think he just needs to sleep, recharge and get ready for another day. She seemed to realise that she was being unreasonable and apologised before walking away. I don't think she'll cause much trouble in the future"

"Well you guys can always come to me if you have any problems. All it takes is for me to threaten to remove funding from SHIELD and Fury tends to do whatever I want". Loki laughed softly, making Bucky stir slightly.

"Thank you Anthony, but I'll just point out that I'm an alien prince with magic powers."

"That would work too" Tony smiled, shoving several berries in his mouth. "Well I'll see you later, enjoy your movie"

"I honestly don't know what's been going on" Loki laughed again "see you tomorrow"

Tony smirked as he walked out of the room, whispering as he went

"Clint I'm with you, two months my arse"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?
> 
> Just a bit more on the characters that I couldn't fit in but I want people to know is:
> 
> 1\. Mia is Asexual  
> 2\. Makena's dad died when she was young, her mother is currently in remission for breast cancer  
> 3\. Asten's gay. He didn't start off that way but I made him in the sims (with blue hair this time) and he kept wanting to kiss his neighbour Liam, and who am I to stand in the way of love. Who knows maybe Liam and his dogs will feature in this fic.
> 
> Just another question for you guys, do you want Clint's family to be included? My timeline is aproaching AOU and I need to know. Unfortunatley for you Vision lovers out there he won't be featuring in this fic. I can't bring myself to kill off JARVIS. Wanda and Pietro will feature, I don't know yet whether Pietro will live. Also Bruce/Natasha isn't happening either.
> 
> Any requests or prompts for this fic will be welcome.
> 
> Thanks for reading, tell me what you think,
> 
> Lyna x


	8. A Voice in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, I hope you all had a great holidays.
> 
> Sorry for the wait, I've rewritten this chapter so many times. I'm still not quit happy with it but its beter than nothing.
> 
> Anyway tell me what you think.
> 
> Lyna

Bucky was sat at his desk, in his pyjamas, on his laptop. He was going through his latest photos and playing with different settings and features on his new software Tony had brought him. The man had been buying him a lot of things recently. Bucky felt like he was trying to buy his affection, but he didn't really mind. He still didn't trust himself around the man, however. He didn't know how to tell him what he'd done. He couldn't...

Anyway, he was thinking about entering one of those online competitions. He liked looking at the other entries and there was one going on at the moment that was just titled "Animals" and he had plenty pictures of those.

"Sir" JARVIS suddenly spoke. Making Bucky jump slightly. "Forgive me Sir" JARVIS added

"What is it Jay?"

"Master Loki is in distress, I fear I cannot wake him. " The AI said, the unspoken request of help hung heavy in the air.

"I'll go see him" Bucky nodded, picking up on what the AI wanted. He stood up and walked towards the door. He made his way to Loki's room, knocking before entering but not really waiting for a response, knowing that if JARVIS couldn't wake him a knock on the door wouldn't.

When he went in he saw Loki tossing and turning, whimpering in his sleep. Bucky got closer and he saw tears staining the God's face. Bucky moved to sit on the opposite site of the bed, reaching out to shake his shoulder.

As soon as Bucky touched him Loki shot awake, jumping away from Bucky.

"Please, don't. I promise I'll be good. I'll do whatever you want. Please just don't" Loki sobbed.

"JARVIS can you turn the lights on please." Bucky said quietly, JARVIS did as requested, keeping them dim "Loki it's me, James I'm not going to hurt you" He held his hands up, showing Loki that they were empty and not anywhere near him. Loki sniffled as he slowly became more aware of his surroundings.

"James?" he asked, Bucky's heart broke at how small Loki sounded.

"Yeah, it's James. You're safe" Bucky reached out again to touch Loki but he flinched back.

"Just don't. Please. Don't touch me. Just for a bit" Loki whispered.

"Okay. You wanna talk about it?"

"It's just memories that won't go away. They get me when I least expect it"

"They say talking about things help you move on" Bucky prompted carefully. Loki sighed heavily. He moved his hand towards Bucky's, squeezing it.

"It's when they..." he sighed again "when they raped me. I keep having nightmares about it."

"Loki..."

"I've been tortured before but never ... hurt like that."

"Lo, I don't know how to help you" Bucky replied "I want to. All I can say is that you're safe now, and I will never let anything like that happen to you again"

Loki moved closer to Bucky, resting his head against his shoulder, still holding his hand.

"I guess its just one of those things I'll have to work through. I'll be okay."

"Don't shut yourself off from me Loki. I'm always here to listen to you. I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but sometimes you have to. You know I won't judge you and anything you say stays between us." Bucky said

"Thank you." Loki yawned

"Do you wanna try and go back to sleep?" Bucky asked, Loki nodded

"Will you stay?" Loki asked tiredly "Please, I don't want to be on my own. Not tonight"

"Sure thing, Kotyenok. I'll stay"

* * *

 

The next morning Loki was wrapped up in the duvet, in a warm little cocoon. Bucky's arms were around him. Both were on the verge of waking. Loki snuggled into Bucky's arms, feeling safer than he had the night before.

He blinked open his bright green eyes and smiled at a Bucky's sleeping form. His brown scruff tickled Loki's face making Loki shift. Bucky woke up, he smiled at the God.

"Morning" Bucky said, voice hoarse from sleep.

"Morning" Loki sighed, pulling the duvet up around him tighter.

"How are you comfortable?" Bucky laughed, moving his metal arm slightly to make his point, the God was lying on it, seemingly unfazed by its solid structure.

"I didn't have a bed for over a year," Loki smirked "it's not that bad"

"Well at least it won't go numb from your weight." Bucky smiled, Loki sat up

"Are you calling me fat?" He asked dramatically.

"You know you're not fat" Bucky snorted, pushing Loki softly.

"Do I? If you keep saying things like that I might not."

"Shut the fuck up, we both know that you're gorgeous. The amount of people who stare at you on a day to day basis is frankly getting annoying." Bucky retorted, Loki smiled. Bucky looked away from Loki, blushing as he realised what he'd just said.

"Well now I know you're lying. Baldr is the God of Beauty, not I. The insufferable prick"

"Be nice"

"You try living with him for 400 years and you tell me he's not a prick. He used to have lessons with Thor and I when we were younger. He always laughed at me for my interest in Seidr"

"Oh, well then. He's definitely a prick" Bucky stated

"Mmm glad you agree" Loki hummed "I don't want to get up"

"You have to"

"But then work has to start" Loki sighed "If I never get up work can't start"

"So much for redemption" Bucky laughed, Loki punched him lightly in the shoulder "hey!"

"I'm all for redemption, but why does it have to start so early?"

"I thought you were a morning person?"

"Not since I haven't had to get up at the crack of dawn for "my princely duties". I've gotten used to a lie in"

"Anyway, I have to go and check on Stasia." Bucky said smirking. He pulled himself away from Loki making the God groan.

"Traitor" Loki hissed, rolling over and wrapping the blankets around him.

* * *

 

Later on Bucky was playing with Stasia in the common room. Steve was sat in an armchair drawing his friend and his dog. Stasia was pulling on a chew toy that Bucky was holding. She was growling softly as she pulled but immediately let go when a sleek black cat came into her line of sight.

She barked at the cat, the cat stared back. Bucky and Steve looked up to see what Stasia was looking at. Bucky smiled, Steve frowned.

"Hey Kotyenok" Bucky greeted, reaching out to stroke his ears. "Done with your paperwork?" Loki purred at the touch and Stasia barked again.

"Where did a cat come from?" Steve asked

"It's Loki, you know JARVIS said he could shape shift"

"Oh, right, I forgot" Steve laughed "Hi Loki"

The cat meowed at Steve before Stasia ran at him. The puppy pounced on the cat, knocking Loki over. The cat batted a paw at the puppy playfully, Stasia jumped back, dodging the paw, barking. Bucky laughed at the pair.

Loki jumped up onto the sofa, too high for the little puppy. Stasia stood under the arm of the sofa, barking up at Loki, he sat on the arm, dangling his tail down for the puppy to jump at. Bucky laughed again, before reaching up to scoop up Loki. He scratched his claws along the sofa making Steve wince.

Bucky cuddled Loki on his lap, Stasia approached and barked again.

"Be nice Stasia. You like Loki" Bucky scolded the puppy. Loki mewed at the puppy; she wagged her tail in response. She crouched down, butt in the air inviting Loki to play. Loki leapt out of Bucky's arms towards the dog. Chasing her across the room.

"Don't you find it weird that you can pick him up and cuddle him when he's like that?" Steve asked as Loki chased Stasia into the kitchen.

"Not really. I mean I met him in that form. I didn't know who he was at first. I thought he was just a cat. So it's not that weird" Bucky shrugged, "Plus I've cuddled with him as Loki as well."

Steve snorted and shook his head lightly, going back to his drawing. Maybe Clint and Natasha were gonna have to alter that bet of theirs, Steve thought, those two were oblivious.

"What?" Bucky asked

"Nothing" Steve said, shaking his head again

"Punk"

* * *

 

A few days later Loki and Bucky were called to the SHIELD Headquarters by a very impatient and unapologetic Bree. Who really should have been more apologetic because 3am was not an appropriate time to be ringing and shouting.

Nevertheless they were there with bells on. Loki actually did have bells on his sleeves, specifically designed to piss Bree off. It worked and he was promptly given a written warning. A great first mission that turned out to be.

It was simple in theory. Infiltrate an abandoned warehouse suspected to be a Hydra storage unit, take out any hostiles/bring them in for questioning if they didn't kill themselves first and confiscate any weapons.

However this was Loki and Bucky, nothing would ever be simple. When they got there Bree and Mia stated that they would go around the back, Loki and Bucky in the front. Loki's magic bubbled with uncertainty but he said nothing, figuring it was just nerves.

Bucky frowned at him as they edged towards the door, either feeling Loki's discomfort or experiencing it himself. Loki didn't know, nor did he ask. They had a mission to do. With a little spell Loki unlocked the door silently, using his Seidr to block any signals sent from alarms.

He cast another spell to make the security cameras not see them, and then they were inside. The warehouse was old and dusty, and very, very empty. It hadn't looked like anything, not even a mouse, had been inside for months.

Loki looked at Bucky again, who shrugged.

"Lets just keep going" he said, and Loki followed, not really sure what else to do.

"Hey guys," Asten called through the coms in their ears. "I'm picking up a lot of energy signals from the centre of the building; the energy seems to be growing. You might wanna check it out."

"Okay Koura, Pittman and I are approaching. Odinson, Barnes, what's your position?" Bree replied

"We're approaching too, ETA 20 seconds" Bucky respond, rolling his eyes. Loki snorted but continued.

The four met in the next room, approaching from different angles, the room was as empty as the last, apart from a strange cylinder in the middle of it. Upon first glance it looked like a harmless, albeit strange object. But Loki's magic alerted him of something different.

A little blip of familiar energy, of a power belonging to higher beings. It glistened in his mind like a bright light of a world made free. Blue submerged his thoughts and for a moment, just a moment, he believed it.

_Found you._

A voice echoed through his thoughts, coarse, gruff and familiar.

"We need to go" Loki snapped "It's a trap, get out"

"Loki's right, it's gonna blow, get out!" Asten called through the coms. Bree and Mia were already next to the cylinder and followed Loki and Bucky through the way they came, all running as fast as they could. But it wasn't fast enough.

* * *

 

Heat was the first thing he remembered feeling. Quickly followed by pain. Rubble and flames surrounded Loki as he blinked his eyes open. His face was wet; water running down his neck, as though someone had thrown water in his face. Someone had.

Loki looked up to see Bucky looking over him, SHIELD water bottle in hand. His face was cut and bruised; dust clung to his hair and cheeks. His blue eyes lit up, however, when he saw Loki was awake.

"You okay Kotyenok?" Bucky asked quietly

"James?" Loki groaned, pushing himself up onto his knees. "What happened?"

"The bomb went off. You shielded us all with a force field but somehow forgot yourself" Bucky explained "You 'nana"

"I guess I panicked. I... I heard something." Loki said, dazed "I heard Thanos James"

"What? How is that possible?" James asked

"I really don't know" Loki brushed his hair behind an ear as Bucky watched him like a hawk. "Where are the others?" Loki asked after a moment

"Just over there" Bucky gestured behind them. "I wanted them out of the danger zone in case there was a second device. But I couldn't move you; I didn't wanna risk hurting you."

"You shouldn't have stayed"

"Like I could leave you behind, you might be a God but you're not immortal. You're my best friend; I don't know what I'd do if I lost you" Bucky smiled sadly "How bad are you hurt?"

"I think my left leg is broken, and some of my ribs. Although they could be bruised. My head hurts but I think I'm okay. I'll heal soon enough." Loki replied wincing as he tried to stand. Bucky pushed him back down.

"Stay down, Asten called an emergency evac and med team to come out as soon as he heard the explosion. Wait until they're here and can look you over"

"You are aware I was thrown about like a ragdoll by the Hulk and was given no medical assistance. I'll be fine James."

"For me, please" Bucky smiled again and Loki did as he was told. It wasn't long before the other agents arrived, armed and ready. They swept the rubble, looking for any trace of another explosive, but they found none. They collected the remains of the bomb and cleared the area for the med team to come in.

They fussed over Loki, checking over the places he said hurt. Loki rolled his eyes as he was poked and prodded. Snapping at one woman when she pressed down on his ribs.

"Stop. I'm fine I just want to go home"

"Loki,"

"No James, I'm fine, I'll heal. I don't need to be manhandled" he growled, forcing himself to his feet. "Can we go home now?"

"No" Bree stated, walking up to them, "We need to talk to Fury, if you feel well enough. We need to tell him what happened"

Loki sighed heavily, but nodded.

* * *

 

"What the hell happened?" Fury asked as soon as Bree, Mia, Loki and Bucky entered the conference room. He stood at the front of the room, hands on his hips.

Loki was limping, his leg hurt and felt like it was on fire, but he carried on, he'd been through worse. His magic was still recovering from casting a force field to protect the others. He'd heal later when he had enough energy.

"There was a bomb" Bree stated, sitting down. Her ginger hair was full of dust from the rubble, just as everyone else's was, but she still managed to look almost regal. Fury met her stare.

"Thank you Captain Obvious" he growled

Loki rubbed his eyes, Thanos' voice echoing in his mind, threatening him. He felt cold for once in his life. He was shivering, with fear or cold he didn't know. Bucky watched him as Bree and Fury spoke; he rested a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to sit down.

"HYDRA is using the sceptre to build weapons" Loki said quietly, making Fury and Bree tear their gaze away from each other. Bucky sat down next to him; he rested a hand on Loki's good knee.

"What do you mean? How do you know Kotyenok?"

"It's the only way I could have heard Thanos. My mind shields are always up, the only way he can get to me is through the mind stone in the sceptre. That bomb was giving of strange energy, my Seidr and Asten's computers. If you compare it to the scans you made of my sceptre you will find them to be almost exactly the same."

Loki rested his head in his hands, sighing.

"They're obviously experimenting with it, using it in weapons"

"That's what I feared. A lot of things went missing with the reveal of HYDRA, the sceptre being one of them. We've been tracking it ever since, but so far no luck." Fury nodded

"They obviously wanted to take out as many Agents as they could. They weren't expecting Loki to be able to protect us" Bree stated

"Ever since we got Barnes their attacks have been more aggressive. They're definitely trying to take us down." Fury sighed "You lot go home, rest. I'll have Hill look into tracking the bastards."

"Bomb fragments have been sent down to Ikande and Fendall. They should be able to tell us more tomorrow" Mia added

"Good, now get out of my office."

* * *

 

Loki wasn't doing much better by the time he and Bucky got back to the Tower, he had used more magic than he thought and was having trouble summoning his reserves to heal himself. Bucky was hovering, unsure of how to help his friend. Loki was leaning on him for support, attempting to get to his room.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Bucky asked again

"Yes James, I just need to rest. My magic will return before long and all will be well" Loki replied

"Has this happened before? Is it because of Thanos?"

"Yes it's happened before and no, it's not because of Thanos, not directly at least" Loki sighed "I panicked; I heard his voice and over calculated. My force field was designed to protect you from something a lot stronger than the blast. I used too much magic and now I'm paying the price for it. But all will be well James, I promise"

"You better Kotyenok, 'cause I know where you live"

Loki laughed tiredly, stopping and resting his head on Bucky's shoulder, needing to rest a moment. Bucky sighed; he bent down, forcing Loki to stand properly before he was swept of his feet. Loki winced as Bucky knocked his leg but he was relieved he wasn't standing anymore.

"Forgive me your highness." Bucky grunted.

"Thank you" he whispered, resting against Bucky's shoulder, holding off from putting all of his weight on the other's injured shoulder.

"No problem, Doll. You were moving too slow for me"

Bucky carried Loki into his room; JARVIS turned on the lights for them and greeted the pair as Bucky placed Loki on his bed. Loki breathed a sigh of relief and shuffled slightly so he was better positioned.

"Norns I feel disgusting" Loki murmured, looking at his dirt stained hands. The smaller cuts on his hands had healed and now he was lay down he could feel a trickling steam of Seidr attempt to repair the damaged bone in his leg.

"Oh, would you like me to run you a bath, your Highness?" Bucky smirked, bowing slightly

"Would you Darling, it's been so long since I had someone take care of me" Loki teased, Bucky laughed

"God it must be so weird having to do things for yourself for once" Bucky sat on the edge of Loki's bed

"Well it has been years since anyone waited on me. It must be so strange for Thor though. When he's in Asgard he's treated like the Golden Prince, and then here he has to do everything for himself"

"Gotta say, no one's ever waited on me. Except those times I convinced Steve to shine my shoes"

"Do you want me to run you a bath?" Loki asked, one eyebrow raised, smiling.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure I can do it myself" Bucky laughed

"Good, because I'm not getting up until this leg is healed"

"Are you still in pain?"

"No, my Seidr is acting like a pain killer. It's numbed the area it's trying to heal. I'm honestly fine James"

"I'm sorry, I'm hovering aren't I?"

"No, you're fine." Loki laughed "Honestly you remind me of my mother. She would constantly ask me if I was alright. Then she would shout at me for putting myself in danger. I'm half expecting you to start shouting in a minute."

"I wouldn't shout at you for protecting your friends. I'd do the same" Bucky smiled

"That's what she always said when she found out that was the reason. Admittedly I got hurt more through practicing Seidr and mischief than protecting others." Loki smiled, closing his eyes.

"I bet young Loki got into a lot of trouble"

"Mhm did I ever tell you about the time I switched around all the paintings in the great hall?"

"No?" Bucky smiled

"Remind me to tell you about it sometime" Loki replied, drifting off to sleep

* * *

 

Thanos sat in his throne growling to himself. What to do? Four infinity stones out of reach. One left undiscovered. He only had one left. Loki had lost his other one and made the chances of Thanos getting the Tesseract even smaller.

And now Odin was on to him.

That slippery trickster had ruined everything for him. And his betrayal had put doubt in Gamora and Nebula's heads. They were gone, taking another stone away from him. And then the Aether. Thanos had learnt of that stone as soon as it had revealed itself.

He'd had a deal with Malekith. He'd promised the fool more power in exchange for the stone. Of course Thanos had no intention of carrying out the bargain, but Malekith didn't know that. But then the trickster had ruined that for him as well.

Blasting the Aether into space. Thanos knew it hadn't been destroyed. Nothing could destroy the infinity stones. But he didn't know where it was. He'd sent scouts out, but so far they'd found nothing.

Hideo was keeping a close eye on the other one. He wouldn't let anyone but Thanos see it. Thanos trusted Hideo, he'd had the boy for centuries, he wouldn't betray him like the other ungrateful brats.

Now he had to plan. He knew that Loki was hiding on Midgard. The Midgardians were tampering with the stone in the sceptre, the stone he had given Loki. Sooner or later they'd slip up. They always did. He'd take advantage of that.

Thanos would have the Nine Realms, he'd have the Universe. He would gift it to his Mistress, and that little trickster would not stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, question time:
> 
> 1\. Who should win the bet; Cint or Natasha. Should their be romance soon or more friendship? 
> 
> 2\. Do you want me to include Jotun heat cycles? If so they need to happen soon :D Also if Loki does have a baby who should carry the child Jotun Loki or Female Loki? At the minute I'm leaning towards female but its up to you guys.
> 
> Any prompt any one has for this fic let me know.
> 
> Also check out my latest video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhp00pCrNqI&t=1s
> 
> Lyna


	9. Something May Be Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> The votes for heat cycles and Jotun/Fem Loki were relitively tied so I have found a way to include them both later on. Thank you for your answers.
> 
> Lyna x

A green duvet was pooled on the floor, along with a T-shirt. Loki lay on his mattress, sweat making his hair stick to his neck and his pillows damp. He groaned to himself. He felt nauseous. His thoughts were clouded and he couldn't focus. He was hot. Too hot.

He groaned again, rolling over. He'd always hated being sick. Well, who liked being sick? He was grumpy and snappy. It was only his Mother whom he could tolerate being near him when he was like this. She would make sure he had plenty of food, water and a moist towel on his forehead. But now she was gone, he'd have to do everything for himself.

He forced himself up out of bed and went to the bathroom. He reached out and turned on the shower using the cold tap. Loki took off his pyjama bottoms and stepped under the cool spray. As soon as the water touched his skin he breathed a sigh of relief.

It did nothing to clear his head or reduce his nausea but it did stop his skin feel like it was on fire. Loki closed his eyes and let the water run down his face and soak his hair. He ran his hands through it before reaching for the shampoo.

As he did a wave of dizziness hit him, forcing Loki to lean against the glass of the shower.

"Sir? Are you okay?" JARVIS asked from above

"Yeah, 'm fine" Loki replied, pushing himself back up. He managed to grab the shampoo and proceeded to wash his hair. Once he was done he stayed under the shower for several moments longer.

He'd suffered from this sickness before. Every Asgardian year in fact. Asgardian years were longer than years on Midgard. It could very well be a year since the last time. It was a strange thing. Ever since he turned 1000 it would happened. He'd always thought it was a seasonal thing. Like how people get sick around winter. But he wasn't in Asgard anymore. Why would it affect him now?

"Sir?" JARVIS called again "You've been in the shower for 45 minutes and 23 seconds. I would recommend you get out now Sir"

Loki looked at his hands, seeing that they were wrinkled like a prune. Sighing he turned the shower off and got out. He wrapped a towel around his waist and went back into his room. He waved his hand carelessly and his bed was remade with fresh linens.

He sat on the bed for a moment before lying on his side and pulling his legs up next to him. His skin began to warm again as he lay there as his headache grew. Closing his eyes he tried to sleep.

* * *

Bomb fragments were lain out on a metal table, equal space in between them. A tiny spec of a glowing yellow stone sat on a little glass container. Tala was stood over the table. She was wearing blue latex gloves and was holding some of the pieces in her hands.

"Any luck?" Makena asked, picking up the glass container.

"I've got some of it assembled, but it looks nothing like the actual device did, according to Mia"

"Well I'm sure you'll do it. You always do" Makena smiled, she went towards the microscope and used a pair of tweezers to remove the stone from it's container.

"Thanks. I'm not even sure if these are all the pieces." Tala sighed "Are you sure that's safe?"

"Scans say it's producing low levels of Alpha Radiation. We're fine" Makena said placing the stone on a screen and looking at it. "Strange." She murmured after a few moments.

"What?" Tala asked, picking up yet another piece of the bomb and trying to slot it in.

"Come look at this. I've never seen particles like this before." Tala rolled her eyes but put the pieces down and moved towards the microscope.

"Neither have I" She replied as she too looked at the stone. The particles all glowed yellow and moved about in an unpredictable way, crashing into one another, absorbing each other before splitting apart again.

"Well Loki said that its part of that Sceptre he used in the invasion. So it's alien, maybe it's some kind of element we haven't discovered yet?" Makena suggested

"Could be, maybe we should get Loki to have a look at it. Or see if he could get Dr Banner to have a look, he's the one who tracked the Tesseract, he's the one who worked on the sceptre before."

"I'll ask Bree if she has access to the reports he made. He must have outlined what he found in them"

"Maybe" Tala shrugged, going back to her own work

"Do you know how the bomb was detonated?"

"I think the stone was used as some kind of accelerant. Everything else looks like your run of the mill bomb; I think the stone just made the explosion bigger... somehow."

The two scientists fell silent as they worked, each engrossed in their own tasks. They didn't notice Bree, Mia and Asten walk in. Both jumped as Bree called their names. Tala dropped the bomb fragments in her hands, making the small amount of pieces she'd stuck together fall apart and scatter amongst the aligned pieces, knocking them out of order.

"Oh fuck it all" she snapped

"Busy at work I see" Bree smiled

"We're no closer to finding out what HYDRA's doing if that's what you want" Tala rolled her eyes, picking up the remaining pieces stuck together before trying to sort out the mess she'd made of her system.

"We were wondering if you could get us Dr Banner's reports on the sceptre. We think he may be able to help us with some things"

"I'll see what I can do" Bree nodded, making a little note on the paper attached to the clip board in her hands.

"Did you get the energy signatures I sent you?" Asten asked, Makena and Tala nodded

"Yeah thank you, they too are very interesting. It's strange how they were dormant for so long before suddenly picking up" Makena stated

"And as of yet I've found nothing to indicate either preset detonation or remote" Tala sighed

"Well do you need any help? I'm not very good at science but I can follow instructions" Mia asked, clapping her hands together, making Tala jump again and almost drop her pieces.

"You could always make some tea" Makena teased

"What happened to no food or drink in the lab?" Mia asked, sticking her tongue.

"Well for your tea I'd make an exception"

"Nope sorry no can do. Rules exist for a reason"

"Yeah to be broken" Makena put her hand on her heart like she'd been hurt.

"Trying to work here, guys" Tala reminded the girls impatiently

"Well," Bree started "I'll get those reports sent down as soon as I can. Let me know when you find anything.

* * *

The sound of someone knocking on his bedroom door was what woke Loki. He blinked his red rimmed, weary eyes awake and tried to sit up. His fresh clothes now damp and his hair stuck out in all directions.

"Come in" he called, wincing at the sound of his hoarse voice and the pain at using it. After a moment Bucky's head popped through the door. He smiled sympathetically as he saw Loki.

"Hey Kotyenok, JARVIS told me you were sick" Bucky said quietly as he came in, holding a glass of water, Stasia trotting dutifully behind him.

"I told 'im 'm fine" Loki mumbled

"Master Loki you are not fine, you've been drifting in and out of consciousness for days" JARVIS replied

"Traitor"

"I thought you might want some water" Bucky said, holding out the glass as he sat on the bed. Loki forced himself to sit up and take the glass. Gulping it down as soon as the liquid touched his lips. "Be careful, I don't want you to be sick" Bucky warned but Loki had already drained the glass.

Loki sighed, a deep drawn out one before handing the glass back to Bucky. His hands shaking slightly as they did.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked, Loki remained silent for a moment, looking past Bucky, to the floor.

"R dg" he mumbled eventually

"What?"

"Your dog" Loki said "It wants to get up" Bucky turned around to see Stasia jumping up behind him, trying to climb onto the bed. He bent down and picked her up, placing her onto the spongy surface. The little dog immediately went to Loki, climbing onto his lap.

"Puppy" Loki slurred, smiling as he pet Stasia's head, probably a little too hard but she didn't seem to mind.

"Kotyenok?"

"'m fine, just tired. And warm." As he spoke Bucky brought a hand to Loki's forehead, testing the God's temperature.

"Loki, you're burning up" Bucky frowned "You're resting temperature is usually a lot lower than ours. You shouldn't be this warm"

"James it's fine. I just wanna sleep"

Bucky frowned to himself and he smoothed Loki's hair back, wondering if there was anything he could do to help the young God. He supposed he could always try and contact Thor and see if he knew what was wrong with his brother. But then again Thor was probably too busy.

Bucky's phone began to ring in his pocket, starling the pair

"Loud noises hurt" Loki scowled at the device as Bucky took it out.

"I know Buddy, I know"

At first he planned on ignoring it but when he saw it was Bree he reluctantly answered.

"Agent Barnes"

"Good, we need you and Loki in. Fury wants us to plan a mission. Infiltrating an active HYDRA base this time" Bree stated, sounding surprisingly optimistic for once.

"I'll be right their but I don't think Loki can make it"

"What? Why not?"

"He's not very well, and by that I mean he's got a fever and he's bloody delirious with it. I'm rather concerned"

"Oh, well. If he needs you, you can stay behind as well. I'm sure the others and I could sort something out." Bree replied

"I'll let you know." Bucky said, hanging up

"Can I have some more water please" Loki asked, sounding small and child like.

"Sure Bud," Bucky took the glass into the bathroom and filled it up quickly before returning to his sick friend. Loki was absently petting Stasia as he unsteadily swayed from side to side. Bucky returned to the bed and gave Loki the glass.

"Was that work?" Loki asked before taking a large gulp

"Yeah, they want me to go in. But I can stay if you need me" Bucky answered but Loki shook his head, making the little droplets of water drip down on to Stasia's head, the puppy shook her own head in response.

"You go save the word Jamie" Loki replied "Jus' save some of it for me. Redem'tion 'member?"

"Yeah I remember." Bucky nodded, "come on, lie down. You'll be more comfortable then" Bucky took the glass away and put it on the bedside table before he guided Loki to lie backwards. Stasia jumped off of Loki's lap and lay down by the God's arms when he was down.

"Can I go sleep now?"

"Yeah Bud, I'm gonna get Bruce to come have a look at you okay. You like Bruce yeah?"

"Not when he's Hulked out, only when he Hulked in" Bucky bit back a smile as he kissed Loki's forehead.

"Goodnight Kotyenok"

"Good night"

Bucky looked at the little puppy lying next to Loki's arm and stoked her ears softly.

"Are you gonna stay with him? Keep him company?" Stasia barked quietly in agreement "Okay, good girl" Bucky smiled, petting her again before leaving, without making a sound.

As soon as he was outside however he called up to JARVIS, asking to be connected to Bruce. Luckily the scientist wasn't doing anything too important and answered almost immediately.

"Hey Bucky, what can I do for you?" Bruce asked, his voice coming out of the speakers above.

"Hi Bruce. Look I know you're not a medical Doctor, but I was wondering if you could have a look at Loki. He's not very well."

"Oh, what are his symptoms?"

"From what I can gather, headache, dizziness, he seems really thirsty and he has a fever. He seems confused and out of it. Like he's on some kind of drugs." Bucky replied "Normally I'd stay with him but work called and he's insisted I go."

"I'll come check him out. A fever can't be good. I'll be right there"

"Stasia is with him, but he was asleep when I left"

"To be honest with Loki that might make him easier to examine" Bruce replied, Bucky could hear him packing things up over the speakers.

"Oh, one more thing. He had a specific request"

"Go on"

"That you be Hulked in" Bucky smiled this time as Bruce burst out laughing

"That's a new one" he said chuckling, "I'll make sure the other guy gets the message"

"Thanks Bruce"

"No problem Bucky"

* * *

It was late by the time Bucky got back to the Tower, they'd made a start on planning an offensive on the latest HYDRA base that had been discovered, but without Loki things had been difficult. That and Fury had wanted them to work with another team that had unfortunately been called away on an important mission.

When he got back the Avengers were all in the common room eating pizza and watching some cheesy film that Stark had undoubtedly chosen. Everyone looked up when he stepped out of the elevator. Steve smiled at Bucky, as did Bruce.

"Hey Buck, you wanna join us?" Steve asked

"Maybe in a bit." Bucky shrugged "Bruce how was Loki?"

"He'll be okay I think. I've been checking on him throughout the day and he doesn't seem to be getting any worse. His fever broke at around 5. I think he just needs to sleep it off, whatever it is. As long as he remains hydrated." Bruce explained

"Thank you Bruce" Bucky smiled

"I've given him some pain killers to help with the headache but I don't know how quick his body burns them off, I've never given them to another species before, but he hasn't had any negative reactions to them"

"I'll go up and check on him now then. Has he eaten?"

"No not yet." Steve responded "I made him some soup if you wanna take it up to him. It's on the hob but should be done about now. I used that recipe your Mom used to make. You remember"

"Yeah," Bucky lied "Thank you"

"No problem" Steve smiled

"He still wasn't making that much sense when I last went down."

"It's okay, I'm fluent in Loki"

Bucky waved goodbye to the others and made his way into the kitchen. As soon as he entered he was greeted by the warm smell of chicken and pasta soup coming from the stove. He felt a wave of déjà vu as he stirred the pot but he couldn't place it. The memory just out of reach.

He spooned the soup into two bowls, one for himself and one for his ill friend. He didn't fancy joining in on pizza night tonight; he'd just stay with Loki. Keep the God company for a little while. He didn't think he could handle the Avengers after they day he'd had. He'd missed his best friend.

He made his way up to Loki's room without spilling too much off the soup, JARVIS promised to send DUM-E up to clean up the little splotches. JARVIS opened Loki's door for him as he approached, hands full.

Loki was pretty much in the same position Bucky had left him in; however at some point he'd gotten dressed. Bruce probably helped him. Bucky shrugged. Stasia lifted her head at the sound of the door opening and barked, wagging her tail.

Bucky smiled at the puppy. Someone, probably Bruce, had brought Stasia's bowls into the room and filled them. They had also built a little set of steps up the side of Loki's bed out of books so the dog could get off the bed and get back up again.

Loki looked up as well, slow and lethargic. He blinked tiredly before flopping back down on the pillow. Bucky walked closer to the bed, placing both bowls of soup on the bedside table. He sat on the bed and pushed a lock of Loki's hair behind his ear.

"How are you doing?"

"I wish people would stop asking me that" Loki sighed, eyes closed

"You sound better."

"It comes in waves, sometimes I'm like this. Sometimes I don't know what's going on" Loki replied "The worst of it is over now."

"I brought some soup. Steve made it. Do you feel like eating?" Loki opened his eyes and smiled softly at Bucky. He nodded and tried to force himself up. Bucky immediately reached out to help him and moved Loki into a more comfortable position.

"Do you need me to help you eat?"Bucky asked, picking up the bowl

"I'm sick, not dying" Loki smiled, scooping up a spoonful and blowing it softly before putting it in his mouth.

"You had this sickness before?"

"This is the fifty-seventh time" Loki sighed

"Fun"

"Tell me about it. It's like bloody clockwork. Always coming at the same time each year, for three or four days and then disappearing as quickly as it comes..." Loki trailed off, realisation dawning on his face.

"Loki?" Bucky asked, Loki shook his head.

"I'm such an idiot"

"What do you mean? You're one of the smartest people I know" Loki shook his head again, placing his bowl on the bedside table behind him and getting up out of the bed. Stasia growled at the movement but Bucky ran a hand over her ears, soothing her.

Loki wobbled his way over to one of his bookcases and pulled out a small leather bound book. He opened it to a seemingly random page and groaned.

"What?" Bucky asked confused.

"It's not a sickness" Loki scowled, walking back over to the bed. "Every year on Jotunheim "sexually matures" Jotuns go through a heat for a couple of days. It's supposed to drive them to find a mate and start a family. That's what it is" Loki sighed, burying his face in his hands

"I'm fucking in heat"

"What?" Bucky repeated "But you've been sick. You had a fever."

"From what I can gather," Loki started, eyes scanning the pages of his book "My Aesir form is affecting it. Presenting itself as an illness. Because I'm in a male form I don't have the-"Loki cut himself off.

"Don't have what?"

"Nope, not going there" Loki stated, slamming the book shut with more force than was technically necessary.

"Let me look" Bucky reached out for the book

"It's written in Jotun you won't be able to read it."

"Tell me" Bucky demanded, before pulling his best puppy dog eyes and adding "Please"

"Oh the Norns," Loki sighed "I don't have the uncontrollable desire to conceive" Bucky pulled a face. "You asked"

"So you want a baby" Bucky laughed

"My body does apparently" Loki rolled his eyes "It's not getting one"

"Aww what a shame. I can just imagine the Tower full of little Loki's causing trouble"

"Pfff. One Loki is enough thank you." Loki scoffed "I remember how much hassle I put my mother through, I guarantee any children I have would treat me the same."

"Do you ever want kids?" Bucky asked

"Maybe, I'm not sure. When I was younger it was all I dreamed about. Retiring from my royal duties. Finding a wife, or a husband, and having a family. But as you know that didn't really go to plan." Loki sighed, picking up his soup "What about you?"

"I don't know. In an ideal world I'd love children, but I'm not exactly father material" Bucky replied

"You've still got time. You're what, 30?"

"Technically I think I'm nearly 100"

"You know what I mean" Loki laughed. "Biologically, you're around 30. From what I understand of the human race, males are able to sire offspring well after 30"

"True. But I don't even know if I can physically have children. I don't know the full extent of what Hydra did to me"

"I'm sure there are ways to check. If not there is a spell I can learn for checking fertility"

"To be honest Kotyenok I don't think that's a question I really want answering"

Loki nodded and the pair continued to eat in silence for several moments before Loki spoke up again.

"How was work?"

"It was okay; we all just sat at the conference table all day really. Makena showed us some pictures if the stone, all zoomed in like, said some stuff I didn't really understand. She wants to talk to Bruce about what he found with the Sceptre."

"Fury wants us to work with another team on an offensive. Some guy called Coulson I think. I don't know. Bree was alright with me. And by that I mean she didn't address me directly, just grouped Mia and I together. But I prefer that over her being confrontational"

"I can have another word with her if you want. Makena, Tala and Asten said that she'll ease up as she gets to know us."

"Leave it for now. I don't wanna cause anymore tension within the group. Everything will be alright" Bucky smiled

"As long as you're sure, it's honestly no trouble"

"Yeah, I can handle her" Bucky stated, putting his empty bowl on the side.

"Where is the new base?" Loki asked

"I don't know. I wasn't listening in all honesty. I was worrying about you." Bucky replied, blushing slightly, avoiding making eye contact with Loki when the God looked up at him.

"James..."

"I know it's silly. I just worry. I'm a worrier. Blame it on Stevie. The years I spent sticking up for that trouble seeking Punk, it changes you" Loki smiled as Bucky dramatically shivered, as if he were reliving his past.

"It means a lot, people outside of my family few people worry about me"

"Well, you're stuck with me now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, tell me what you think or if you have anything you want me to include in this story.
> 
> Thanks again,
> 
> Lyna x


	10. Make or Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Bucky go shopping. Arguments and revelations ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Sorry in advance if I fuck up with the pronouns. It's my first time writing Lady Loki and I noticed myself messing up sometimes. 
> 
> Tell me what you think.
> 
> Lyna x

Loki sat on a stool in front of her dressing table carefully applying some bright red lipstick. She wore winged black eyeliner and green eye shadow, complementing her emerald green, long-sleeved skater dress with a black belt.

Her wavy black hair flowed down to her hips with a plait as a headband. She smiled at herself in the mirror as she put the lid on her lipstick. She put it back in her little makeup bag as there was a knock on her door.

"Come in," She called, her voice more musical and higher than it was in her male form, making her smile slightly.

Bucky opened the door and stepped inside, stopping when he saw Loki. He stared at her for a moment, whilst Loki readjusted her hair for the fiftieth time. She finally looked up at Bucky.

"James? Is this okay? I can change form if you want?" Loki stammered, suddenly self conscious.

"No" Bucky practically shouted "I mean, you look... beautiful" The former soldier blushed and looked away.

"Thank you" Loki smiled, standing up, revealing thigh high black heeled boots.

"Wow" Bucky whispered and Loki smirked.

"I know we're only going shopping but I wanted to look nice, I haven't been in this form for so long."

"Yeah, you definitely achieved that" Bucky replied, picking at the sleeves of his black and red woollen cardigan.

"Thank you" Loki repeated

"Why... why this form?" Loki shrugged in response

"I felt like it. Sometimes this is me" Loki gestured to her dress "Sometimes it's him" Bucky nodded

"You ready to go then?"

"One moment" Loki opened her wardrobe and pulled out a leather jacket and put it on, "Now I am."

* * *

 

A few hours later Loki and Bucky were walking the streets of New York. A few bags on each of their arms. They'd visited a few clothes shops. Loki had mainly bought for her female form, excited to expand her regrettably small wardrobe. Bucky brought more clothes for winter; thick jumpers and cardigans as well as a nice pair of boots.

Bucky had suggested the shopping trip upon realising that Loki hadn't really explored New York since her arrival, and that Loki made most of her clothes herself. Although that did mean her clothes always fitted perfectly it also meant there was little variation. She made what she knew looked good instead of trying different things. Things that today, she discovered she liked.

"James look" Loki beamed, pointing at a little old bookstore, overshadowed by tall stone buildings, dwarfing it. "Can we go?"

"I thought you had plenty of books" Bucky teased.

"Yes, but not many Midgardian ones." Loki replied, "Please"

"I suppose, if His Highness wishes" Bucky bowed.

"Ah, I'm glad you're remembering you manners at last" Loki laughed "I was thinking I would have to find a new thrall"

"Pff like you could replace me! I'm one of a kind" Bucky shoved Loki gently "I mean who else a metal arm... with a red star painted on it"

"Ohh you were in trouble before the star, metal limbs are all too common now a days. I feel like your kind should go back to wooden stumps and hooks, those were the days." Loki looked off into the distance, as if reminiscing her days as a pirate. Which brought the question to Bucky's mind. Had Loki ever been a pirate?

"I'll have you know I'd make a pretty sexy pirate." Bucky smirked "If I ever perfect my eyeliner application technique"

"I'll teach you. Maybe you should stick to pencils though. I think liquid is too advanced" Loki teased, flicking her hair back as they approached the book store. Bucky pressed his right hand to his chest.

"Why must you hurt me in this way?" He asked

"James Darling, I've seen the pictures of the big bad Winter Soldier. I've seen your panda eyes"

"I was going for a raccoon, actually"

"Ah yes, aiming to look like little Negodyay?"

"You know what I've changed my mind." Bucky said, grabbing Loki's hand and pulling her back "No books for you" Loki pouted. Bucky's eyes were drawn to Loki's bright red lips.

"Please" Loki whispered, Bucky tore his eyes away from her lips and sighed.

"Fine" Loki immediately perked up, jumping slightly, her heels making a click on the pavement

"Yay"

Loki pulled Bucky into the shop by their still connected hands. As they pushed the door open a little bell rang out, signifying their entrance. Bucky watched Loki's eyes widen at the sight of all of the books. She hadn't seen this many books outside of the palace library or her chambers in years.

Loki ran a finger over the top of the books, reading the titles as she went. Bucky too looked at some of the titles, he had never heard of most of them but some managed to grab his attention.; there was a mixture of leather bound classical texts and paper back recent novels.

The elderly woman behind the counter smiled at the pair and Bucky blushed again, pulling his hand free from Loki's grasp. The Goddess turned to look at Bucky, confusion on her face.

"I'm just gonna look over there" Bucky pointed to the corner. Loki smiled and went back to looking at the leather bound books.

Bucky moved away from Loki. He only managed to read the blurbs of a couple of books before the woman behind the counter was next to him. She was restocking some of the shelves but she smiled as she worked.

"A beautiful lady you've got there" the woman smiled

"Yeah she is" Bucky replied, turning to look at Loki, who had pulled a book from a shelf and was reading it.

"How long have you been together?" She asked

"Oh... no. We're not-"

"Ah, I see. You're a pair of stupids" the woman laughed

"Excuse me?"

"Two people who are obviously smitten but too scared to say anything or don't know it yet. My Husband, Arthur and I, call them stupids." The woman smiled again

"It's complicated" Bucky shrugged

"Isn't it always dear?" the woman shook her head "Tell her sweetheart."

"No," Bucky dismissed "It's not a good time."

"Time is your enemy, my Arthur had a stroke last year, and it really puts everything into perspective."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh he's fine. Now. We had a rough patch. Now he's back to being a pain, leaving paint brushes in the sink and drying canvas' everywhere. But we're not talking about me." The woman rambled.

"James" Loki came up behind the pair, several books in her hands. Both Bucky and the lady smiled at her. "How many books do you think I can buy on Anthony's credit card before he notices?"

"Kotyenok, you could by the whole store and I don't think he'd notice."

"Well, I'll just stick to these" Loki paused counting the books "Twelve for now" Bucky laughed at her beaming smile.

"Trust you"

"Have you found anything you like?"

"No, not yet. I was just talking to" Bucky gestured to the woman.

"Tabitha"

"Pleasure to meet you" Loki held out her hand and Tabitha took it.

* * *

 

Loki and Bucky were sat in a small cafe just down the road from the Tower about an hour later. Loki was sat with her legs crossed and a cup of tea in her hands. Bucky was hunched forward, hands grasped around a mug of hot chocolate. He stared down at his half empty drink, avoiding looking at Loki.

"Are you okay?" Loki asked softly, "You've been quiet ever since the book shop"

"Yeah, I'm fine" Bucky replied, still not looking up. Loki leant forwards and put her hand on top of Bucky's.

"James, you can tell me anything. You know that"

"I said I'm fine, leave it" Bucky pulled his arm away from Loki's as the Goddess pulled her own back, as if she' d been burnt. She turned away from Bucky, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she watched the other people in the shop.

"I think I'd like to go home now" Loki stated, blinking quickly to stop the rapidly forming tears from falling. She put her empty cup on the table in front of her and stood up. She picked up her bags and turned ready to leave.

"Loki ..." Bucky started but Loki had already started making her way toward the door. "Shit" he mumbled, picking up his own bags and hurrying after her.

She moved quickly, her long legs covering a large amount of ground, causing Bucky to jog after her. Loki ignored Bucky calling her name and got back to the Tower before Bucky could properly catch up with her.

She chose to take the stairs up to the common room, for no other reason than she was angry and wanted to burn off some steam. However, by the time she got up to the common room she was still no less angry.

Steve was the only person in the common room. Drawing Stasia who was curled up asleep in the chair opposite him. Bucky and Loki didn't notice the pair initially though. Bucky reached out and grabbed Loki's wrist but she pulled it away.

"No. You didn't want to talk now neither do I." She snapped "Leave me alone" With that Loki teleported away, leaving only a wisp of green mist behind. Bucky brought both of his hands up to run through his hair. Tears prickled at the corner of his eyes, threatening to fall as he let out an exasperated sigh

"Buck? You alright?" Steve asked, putting his drawing pad down and walking towards his friend.

"No" Bucky whispered brokenly, "I...I don't know what to do Stevie."

"What's happened, what's wrong?" Steve placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder, encouraging him to speak.

"I was a jerk. I snapped. And now Loki's mad at me" Bucky replied "I can't lose what we have Steve."

"Hey, shh, it'll be alright. It's just a little fight. Me and you used to get into them all the time. If it were serious I'm pretty sure he'd turn you into a toad or something"

"A frog" Bucky stated quietly "He doesn't like toads, says they're just lazy, fat frogs that don't try hard enough, and they remind him of Volstagg."

"Okay" Steve drew out the word as he was thinking "See, you'll be fine, you know so much about him."

"It's not just the fight though. It's why we started fighting." A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Well. Why did you start fighting? Hm, maybe I can help"

"I like him Steve, really like him." Bucky admitted, more tears joining the once already fallen "But I can't let myself feel like this. I can't"

"Bucky, this isn't the forties any more. Guys can love other guys now, it's not illegal. I know how difficult it was back then for you. But now it's okay"

"I know, I know." Bucky exclaimed, burying his head in his hands for a moment. He looked up and ran his hands through his hair again "I guess I'm so used to thinking that I'm not right. That what I feel is wrong. I don't know how to deal with it."

"Hey, you're not wrong, you're you. If you like Loki go for it. It doesn't matter that he's another guy. I mean most of the time, apparently he make a pretty cute Doll as well."

"I'm gonna tell him you called him cute."

"Don't you dare. But you see what I'm saying? This world is more open to things than ours was. Hell I don't even understand a lot of what people are going on about half the time there's that many of 'em. But they're all allowed to be who they are. The same goes for you"

Bucky nodded at Steve's words. It was difficult for him. He'd had to hide who he was for so many years. He liked women too, so he supposed it was easier to pretend. But he could never forget his hidden desire. He'd never been with a man before, but that didn't stop him feeling the way he did. As much as he tried to forget.

"And if anyone says anything you send them to me. If Captain America approves then no one should have a problem" Steve smiled, nudging Bucky's shoulder with his own. Causing Bucky to smile sadly. He used his sleeve to wipe away the remaining tears.

"I don't think Loki likes me in that way anyway"

"Shove off" Steve laughed "Bucky do you know how many people Loki talks to on a daily basis? One. And that person is you. Sometimes JARVIS, but always you. I know I don't know what Loki's feeling but I'd say he's smitten."

"Smitten?" Bucky smirked.

"That's it. I'm not gonna help if you're gonna make fun of my words."

"Do you still use the word fondue?" Steve scowled at Bucky, shoving him.

"I was young and naive you prick" Steve snapped, but he smiled before sighing "Look I'm not saying burst into Loki's room and confess you undying love" Bucky frowned at the other's words "But at least stop beating yourself up about it"

"Okay" Bucky nodded, "I'll just leave her now. Let her calm down a bit."

* * *

 

Loki lay in bed. The duvet wrapped tightly around his lithe form. He'd showered as soon as he'd got back, changing form whilst under the warm spray. From there he'd put on his pyjamas and gotten back into bed, hoping that the day hadn't happened, that it had all been a terrible nightmare.

His damp hair soaked the pillow as did his tears. He didn't understand why Bucky had snapped at him. Everything had been fine until they'd gone to the bookstore, and then he'd become moody and withdrawn. Loki was only trying to help.

Loki knew he'd over reacted but he hadn't expected Bucky to snap. He thought they had something special, that they could trust each other with anything, but apparently Bucky still had secrets. Didn't he trust him? Loki would never betray him. Would Bucky betray him?

The God was so lost in his thoughts he didn't sense the magically influx around him, nor did he hear JARVIS call his name. In fact it was Thor bursting into his room that finally shook Loki from his thoughts. The God of Thunder making the other jump.

"Brother, it is unlike you to be startled by my appearance. You are normally well aware of my arrival. Are you well?" Thor asked.

"How's Father?" Loki asked, avoiding the question.

"He has awoken. He has sent me here to aid your quest to find the sceptre. HYDRA should not be meddling with it." Thor replied. Thor grabbed at duvet "Why are you still in bed?" he asked, pulling it away from Loki.

Loki grabbed at it and tried to pull the duvet back up but Thor's grasp was too strong. Loki let it go with a sigh.

"Because I'm tired" he sighed

"Have you been crying" Thor asked, moving to sit on the bed, next to Loki's head. He pushed the damp hair away from Loki's face as the other pulled the blanket up around him. "Tell me who I have to kill."

"No one" Loki smiled softly "All will be well."

"If you are sure Lítt Einn, I promised no one would hurt you again."

"All will be well" Loki repeated "I quarrelled with James, but it will be sorted soon enough. I just need time to mope."

"Very well. Will you be joining us for pizza? Steven said he would order." Thor asked, but Loki shook his head.

"I don't really feel up to socialising right now."

"I will bring you something up later on." Thor decided "You must eat."

"Thank you" Loki murmured.

* * *

 

The lift dinged as the doors opened. A delivery girl was inside hold several boxes of pizza. Tony quickly paid the girl and took the food off her before sending her on her way. Bucky was on the floor playing with Stasia. The puppy was jumping all over him, trying to steal the toy in Bucky's hand.

Steve, Nat, Clint, Sam and Bruce were all sat around the TV, above Bucky, all arguing over what movie to watch. As soon as Thor entered the room Stasia forgot about the toy and ran over to him, happy to find someone who smelt like Asgard.

She jumped up at the God, nipping at his hands. Thor laughed, kneeling down to pet her. Stasia licked Thor's face; the force of her knocked him backwards.

"Ah, no. I have been slain by a mighty foe" Thor laughed, the others joined in when they turned to see the mighty god floored by a small puppy.

"Stasia" Bucky called and the dog froze. She leapt over Thor's fallen form and ran back to Bucky.

"Hey Goldilocks, is Rudolph coming or what?" Tony asked, Thor frowned at him, confused by his words.

"Is Loki coming?" Clint clarified

"Nay, he wishes to be alone right now" Thor replied "I will take him food later"

"Alright" Tony shrugged "What we watching?"

Thor sat of the sofa nearest Bucky, petting Stasia, who had returned to sniff at his boots.

"Hey Thor?" Bucky asked

"Greetings Bucky"

"Would it be okay if I took Loki that food?" Thor sighed heavily, looking down at the man on the floor.

"Very well. But if he is upset by the change I'll tell him you fought me to get it and pushed me down the stairs."

* * *

 

A knock on the door tore Loki away from one of his new books. He was still in bed, reading up on the history of Midgard. He mumbled a come in, expecting it to be Thor. Instead it was Bucky. Loki didn't look up, recognising the footsteps as the former soldier's.

"Loki? I brought you some food" Bucky said, coming in, holding a plate.

"Thank you," Loki replied "But Thor could have done it"

"I know, I asked him if I could do it"

"Why?"

"I... I wanted to apologize for earlier." Bucky started, Loki raised an eyebrow, as if to say _go on then_. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I was a jerk and I was out of line"

Both Loki and Bucky were silent for a moment before Loki sighed heavily. He closed his books, making a mental note of the page.

"James I was just trying to help."

"I know" Bucky said quickly "I understand that. But I really didn't want to talk about it with you"

"Why not?" Loki asked, hurt.

"It's something you wouldn't understand. I needed to talk to Steve about it." Loki looked more confused "Look, something that used to be very frowned upon in my time is very much accepted in this one. I was having trouble with it."

"Oh" Loki frowned "Okay" Bucky placed the plate on the bed and sat next to Loki. He sighed.

"Back in the 40's a lot of things weren't allowed. More things weren't allowed than were actually. It wasn't ok to be different. It wasn't okay for me to be bisexual." Bucky explained "I hid that part of me away. But now I don't want to"

"Well don't then. Be who you wanna be. You know I do" Loki replied, shrugging. Bucky smiled softly and nodded "What's brought this on. You were fine until the bookstore?"

"Something that lady said. About the future and love. Just made me realise that I might like someone."

"Oh, well that good" Loki said slowly, after a moment of silence.

"That doesn't matter right now." Bucky dismissed "I just need to know whether or not you forgive me. I don't think I could handle you being mad at me for much longer."

"I'm not mad. I was just a bit surprised that you snapped, I wanted to be alone a while" Loki replied "I forgive you" Loki smiled

Bucky returned the smile. He leant forwards a pressed his lips lightly against Loki's cheek. Loki blushed, looking down.

"Thank you" Bucky whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm gonna ask a bunch of questions to gather the general oppinion of this fic. I would appreciate it if you could answer as many as you can to help me improve my writing technique and the direction of this story.
> 
> 1\. Is everybody in character and respond correctly to the situations they are in? Loki, Bucky, Bruce, Thor and Steve in particular?  
> 2\. Do you like the OC's? Who's you favourite?  
> 3\. Do you like Stasia?  
> 4\. Do you like how the story is progressing? Do you think it's going to fast/slow  
> 5\. Is there anyone in particular you want to see in this fic that hasn't already? Anyone you want to see less of?  
> 6\. What has been your favourite moment of the fic so far? Least favourite?  
> 7.Have you noticed any continuity errors?  
> 8\. Anything you'd like to see?
> 
> I know it's a lot of questions but it's the stuff that goes through my head when writing and I think it would be really beneficial to me to see what you guys actually think.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Lyna x


	11. Mission

"Odinson, Barnes, you're late" Bree called as Loki and Bucky entered the room. Bree, Mia and Asten were inside. They were not late. In fact they were 20 minutes early for their usual shift. It wasn't their fault Bree was apparently clinically insane. Neither man countered her accusation, however; they knew how it would end. Bree would be angry, Loki would want to kill her and Tala would get involved. It had happened before.

"The drop is in four hours. They're fine." Asten replied, not looking up from his laptop where he was furiously tapping.

"I don't even know why we're sending the two of you in. You barely have an SHIELD experience. You've been on what four missions now? Mia and I should be the ones going. But oh no, Fury wants you two to go," Bree rambled.

"Do I have to remind you again that I'm over 1000 years old? I have experience Arnold, as does James," Loki sighed.

"But not working for SHIELD," Bree retorted, as if that made a difference. Loki rolled his eyes as Bucky played with his sleeves awkwardly.

"Look Bree, you know he wanted them to go," Mia hissed.

"Who?" Loki asked, Bree and Mia didn't hear.

"Some Coulson guy," Bucky mumbled, "I told you about it after the last meeting. You were sick."

"That's impossible," Loki shook his head, "I... I killed him."

"What?"

"During the invasion. He tried to stop me escaping; I stabbed him through his heart. There's no way he could be alive."

"Actually there is," a voice called from behind them. Bucky jumped out of his skin, not hearing anyone approach for once in his life. Loki spun round to see Coulson; the shorter man smiled up at Loki. If he felt any discomfort at being close to his attempted killer he didn't show it.

Loki's mouth hung open, eyes darting back and forth. Coulson smiled up at him. Bucky looked at the pair. He was confused.

"Loki, I hear you've turned over a new leaf. No more trying to take over the world. It's good news."

"Well, you know, I had a change of heart." Loki replied, still staring, fingers ghosting over the scar in his own chest, similar to the one Coulson must have on his own.

"Good. I gotta say when I heard you were back I was worried, but Fury seems to trust you. After all it was him who wanted you and Barnes to go on this mission." Coulson explained, "By the way Sergeant Barnes, I'm a huge fan of the Howling Commando's. I have some vintage trading cards. Would you sign them?"

"Erm, yeah, sure" Bucky smiled, still confused but just rolling with it.

"Excellent, they're in my locker. My Captain America ones got blood on them. Damn Fury. But he did buy me some more as a "congratulations, you're alive" present so I can't really complain."

"Coulson, can we get on with the debrief now?" Bree asked, impatiently.

"Yes, yes. Sorry." Coulson replied, waving a hand dismissively. "Any way gentlemen, welcome to Level 7."

"I thought we were already Level 7?" Bucky whispered to Loki, the God shrugged in response.

"You are going to infiltrate this HYDRA base. Your task is to retrieve the maps that we presume to be in the office. You two are going in first. We want you to be in an out without being detected before we send the STRIKE team in." Coulson explained, Loki and Bucky nodded.

"Why not send them in with the STRIKE team?" Mia asked.

"Bases in the past have burnt everything before we could get up to them. It seems like its protocol to destroy all evidence when the attack alarm sounds. We've never recovered any physical evidence of bases. We only ever find them by trailing members. "

"If you guys go in first, without triggering the alarms, you'll be able to get up to the main offices without too much trouble. Here we have blue prints," Coulson picked up a roll of paper off the conference room table. "Obviously we don't know the full lay out of the building but these shoulder help."

"We'll manage." Loki nodded.

"Is that all? Get the plans and get out?" Bucky asked.

"Essentially," Coulson nodded, "If you can capture any HYDRA agents alive that would be great. As you're probably familiar with, Barnes, the agents have an annoying habit of killing themselves when captured." Bucky nodded again.

"They still using cyanide?"

"Some do. Some have had a kill switch fitted. They're terminated by some of the higher ups. They started doing it when you got away."

"Smart, I guess." Bucky replied.

"Capturing agents should not be a problem." Loki added after a moment.

* * *

 

A few hours later Loki and Bucky were hovering over the drop site, the small aircraft that SHIELD had provided was almost silent, fitting the sombre mood of those on board. Mia was piloting the plane, Bree sat next to her; but whether or not she was helping was unclear to Loki.

Bucky and Loki stood at the back, dressed for the mission. Loki wore a black turtle neck and pants. Bucky wore a black bullet proof jacket, with one sleeve cut off, to make room for his arm. Both were armed, Bucky with multiple guns and knives, Loki with his Seidr and daggers hidden on his person.

Coulson was stood with them, going over the mission once again; making sure the pair knew their objectives. He played with his tie as he spoke.

"If you need an extraction use frequency two." Coulson stated, speaking about their coms "We'll send STRIKE in earlier if you need help."

"We won't," Loki interrupted. "I can teleport us out if need be," Coulson nodded.

"Handy."

"I'll teleport us in as well. We do not need to use these things." Loki gestured to the parachute packs. Coulson nodded again. "I've studied the blueprints; I can get us in safely."

"Ok. Are you both ready?" Coulson asked. Loki hummed in acknowledgement, Bucky nodded.

"Get on with it then. We haven't got all day." Bree shouted from the front. Loki rolled his eyes; Bucky flinched at the sudden loud noise. Loki looked at Bucky, frowning. Bucky shook his head, telling Loki not to worry.

"Yeah, get going whenever you're ready" Coulson smiled, "And good luck."

Loki held his hand out for Bucky, who took it after a moment. As soon as their hands touched the ground fell out from beneath them, colours blurred past their eyes and before they knew it they were in a cleaning cupboard in the compound.

Bucky felt a wave of nausea flood over him as Loki let go of his hand. He screwed his eyes shut and lent against Loki for support. The God let Bucky take a moment, understanding that not all were as comfortable as he, when it came to teleporting.

"Are you okay?" He asked when Bucky pulled away.

"Yeah, just went a bit dizzy." Bucky forced a smile.

"No, I mean are you okay? You've been quite all day James, you've been jumpy and spaced out. I'm worried. Have I done something to upset you?" Loki asked; concern evident on his face.

"No Kotyenok, it's not you." Bucky ran a hand through his hair, brushing brown hairs out of his face. "I'll talk to you about it later. Now isn't the right time, or place."

"I need to know if whatever is wrong will affect you in the field. James, I can do this on my own if you are unwell."

"I'll be fine. Let's go."

Bucky slipped out of the cupboard first, Loki on his heels. The god cast an invisibility spell over them and muffled their footfalls, but they still had to be careful and keep a distance from the soldiers that milled about the compound.

They quickly located the stairs; the main office was on the highest floor and the pair would have to get through many ID operated doors to get there. They snuck up the stairs, only encountering one individual on their way up.

Loki sent out a bolt of Seidr towards the spy, knocking him unconscious almost immediately. Bucky caught the man's falling body and lay him on the ground, before searching for the man's ID card. When he had it Loki waved his hand and the man was suddenly tied up in the corner, gag in his mouth, still unconscious.

The pair climbed ever still; luckily the man had been seemingly high up. It wasn't until the sixth or seventh floor that the card stopped working. The pair looked at each other for a moment.

"Can you get us in?" Bucky asked.

"It would involve setting fire to the door and perhaps blowing it up."

"Can you get us in?" Bucky repeated.

"Yes."

Loki cast another spell, letting the invisibility fall- there was no use using it now. Using a flame in the palm of his hand he heated up the metal locking system on the door, warping it until it would no longer hold the door shut. The electronic system reached to the heat, spitting barbs of electricity at the pair before failing. The door was open.

"You made that sound more exciting than it was." Bucky smiled.

"A bit of dramatic flair never hurt anyone." Loki winked as they the floor.

They met a few people on their way to the office. Loki put them all to sleep as he went. That was until one man jumped out behind Bucky, grabbing him around his neck and pulling him backward. Bucky elbowed the guy in the jaw with his metal arm, hearing the satisfying crunch as he shattered the man's jaw.

Before Loki could even turn and attack Bucky had the man out cold. Loki smiled at the sight; Bucky returned it, blushing slightly. Wordlessly they continued to move. They approached the office, Loki tried the door, it was locked. Bucky pushed his way past Loki, and with one strong kick the door was off its hinges. He turned to Loki and smirked.

"You're not the only one who get break a door." Loki returned the smirk before they entered the room. A man and a woman were inside, gathering up papers and ready to shred them with the machine on the floor.

Loki raised his hand and forced the two off them up against the wall, knocking them out in the process. With another wave of his hand and a green shimmer their bodies disappeared. Bucky looked up at Loki, eyebrow raised.

"They're on the helicarrier." Loki replied, "Coulson said he wanted people."

Loki gathered up the papers on the desk whilst Bucky went to the metal filing cabinet in the corner, pulling it open with his metal arm, breaking the locks in the process. He pulled out file after file, making an organised pile on the desk.

"Can you send all this the same way you sent them?" Bucky asked as Loki rummaged through the desk drawers.

"Easily." Loki replied, voice muffled. Bucky made his way through the cabinet as Loki did the same with the desk, and before long it was crammed with paper.

"Kotyenok, look at this." Bucky called, pulling out a large sheet of folded paper out of one of the drawers. He unfolded it carefully, revealing a large and detailed map of America. It was spotted with red dots, revealing each base across the country. Loki grinned at Bucky.

"I think we've found what we were looking for."

* * *

 

Once they'd sent all of their finding to SHIELD and gotten safely out of the HYDRA building the pair had been forced to go through a debrief. Bucky's therapist trusted the agents to do a proper job and had allowed him to do it the "normal" way.

By the time they had gotten home it was late. Loki had been sequestered by Thor as soon as he had arrived and had been forced to meal with his brother. Bucky had similarly been caught by Steve who made the former eat before allowing him to escape to his room.

"I am glad you repaired your relationship with Sergeant Barnes, Brother. I believe you are good for one another. I would have been greatly saddened if you had failed to resolve your issues." Thor explained. They were sat in the living room of Thor's floor. Loki was still a tad bitter of the fact that his brother got a whole floor and he only got a room, but then again he was near James, so he couldn't really complain.

"I worry about him." Loki replied, taking a sip of his red wine. He was curled up on the sofa whilst Thor sat in the armchair opposite. "He has been withdrawn as of late."

"He will talk to you when he feels ready. He is your shield-mate, and best friend. Maybe he just needs time."

"I hope so; I fear he is holding too much in. And I know first had that nothing good can ever come out of that."

"Just be there for him Brother, in the way I should have been there for you." Thor said sadly.

"You were there for me sometimes." Loki stated, trying to soften the blow.

"I was not there enough."

The two fell into an uncomfortable silence. Loki took another sip of his wine as Thor drained his mead. The silence continued for several long moments, neither brother knowing what to say. Loki eventually got to his feet when he'd finished his wine.

"Well Brother, this has been enjoyable," Loki forced a smile before teleporting up to Bucky's room. He appeared right in the centre of the room, making Bucky (who was standing by his wardrobe, putting his coat on) jump.

"Fucking hell Kotyenok," Bucky snapped, putting a hand on his chest. "Don't do that!"

"Are you going somewhere?" Loki asked, cocking his head to one side

"Just to the park, I haven't seen Negodyay in a while." Bucky replied, recovering from the shock.

"Oh, I'll come with you." Loki smiled

"It's okay, Kotyenok. I kinda wanna be alone." Bucky shrugged.

"No, you promised you'd tell me what's wrong. I'm not letting you isolate yourself again."

"Fine," Bucky snapped back, he pushed past Loki and left the room, Loki quick on his heels.

"Why are you getting angry about this?" The God asked once they were outside.

"Why are you so insistent on talking about it?" Bucky stalked ahead, forcing Loki to lengthen his strides to keep up.

"Because you're hurting and I want to know why? Is it something I've done? Because I thought we were okay?"

"Yes it's you!" Bucky snapped, Loki stopped, eyes widening and lips slightly parted in shock. "It's always you."

"What the Hel is that supposed to mean?" Loki continued walking, once more catching up to Bucky. "Ever since we met I have been nothing but caring towards you. I don't understand what I've supposedly done wrong."

"It's nothing, just leave it." Bucky shook his head as they entered the abandoned park. He began following the path to his preferred area of the park, but Loki grabbed his metal arm.

"No. We are talking about this now, James." Bucky tried to pull away but Loki tightened his grip. He glanced up at Loki's face, the God looked confused, his eyes reflecting his pain. "What is wrong with us?"

"It doesn't matter."

"James, of course it matters. Whatever it is, it's bothering you. You're my friend—"

"I wanna be more than that!" Loki's grip on Bucky's faltered. The soldier ran his hands through his hair, "God damn it Loki. I have so many things going on in my head. So many feelings, and I don't know what I am allowed to feel anymore."

Loki took a step forwards.

"You're allowed to feel anything James. They're your feelings. They're what makes you, you."

"It's just...I don't know what to do. Every time I see you I want to make you smile, to laugh. And it breaks my heart on days you don't. I hate the fact that I worry you, but I love the fact that you care. I love every second I get to spend with you, but I can't stand that you'll never be mine."

"James..."

"I'm sorry. This must be super weird for you. I'm sorry for making this awkward. We can forget I ever said anything." Bucky turned away and took several steps away. Loki immediately followed;

"How do you know?" He asked softly, voice cracking.

"What?" Bucky barely whispered.

"How do you know that I'll never be yours?" Loki looked down at his shoes, playing with the cuff of his sleeves, "I'm used to hiding how I feel James. I used to not letting people in. But with you, I'm safe, I'm happy. I am content. What more do you need to know?"

Bucky moved closer, and closer still, until they were barely a breath apart, their noses brushing against each other. Loki's forced his eyes upwards; bright mischievous green meeting cerulean storms. James breathed in, sharp and quick, as though someone had struck him.

"It's okay," Loki whispered, warm breath ghosting over Bucky's cheek. "It's okay to want things."

A sigh echoed as eyes closed, before heated lips met ones as cold as Jotunheim. A brief, hesitant peck, barely more than a murmur. Yet it was enough. Enough for them. For two broken souls, falling for so long. A promise, a silent one. The promise to reach out, no matter how far, and catch them.

A promise to rise alongside one another, no matter how messy it got. And damn things got messy fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was okay for you guys.
> 
> Tell me what you think,
> 
> Lyna x

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys, I hope you like this new fic,
> 
> Lítt Einn- Little One in Old Norse
> 
> Please read and review,
> 
> ~ Lyna x


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